The County Is Coming For You!



Good Lord, woman, punctuation is your friend! I guess I shouldn’t have bitched about those misused commas. This is simply awful! You give English teachers everywhere a migraine.

He didn’t unblock her but he was searching in his history when he saw this. I guess crazy doesn’t like to be ignored.

First, let’s do this:

You think I’m kidding? You wait. The county is coming for your ass.

Much better.



Only took her 17 minutes to work herself up into a rage because her first try didn’t illicit a reaction. Poor thing!

I’m curious how her boyfriend, you know, the one she left her husband for, would react if he knew about her childish threats and tantrums because her husband moved on. Wonder if she cried to him about it that night?

I’m intrigued though. What will the county do? Is she expecting the county to come arrest him for having a “sleepover” friend?

Um, hello? Is this the county? Yes, I’d like you to go arrest my husband. He has been having a “sleepover friend” stay at our house.

No, I- I don’t live there. I break in occasionally but I don’t actually live there. There’s some kind of paper that actually prohibits me from being on the property but that’s not important. What’s important is that she shouldn’t be there!

How old is my daughter? I’m not sure. 18, I think? Maybe? I’ll text her and get back to you.

You can’t do anything? But he’s having her sleep over with my minor child in the home!

What? 18 is no longer a minor? When the hell did that happen? You know what? I don’t care! I want him arrested. He cannot have sleepover friends! Only I am allowed to have sleepover friends! And I never did it in our house. I always did the courteous thing and disappeared for days at a time until I finally just walked out on him one day.

I’ve already told her that adultery is a class 4 misdemeanor. No jail time. Unlike say, perhaps, a DWI. Plus, you need proof. I have a houseful of people who would testify that the mobster gave up his room so that Rock Star and I could have it. He slept on the couch. Am I never allowed to stay overnight, period? It’s a long drive! Or can I stay overnight if I’m part of a large group? I was one of eight people, not including the mobster and his daughter, that was spending the night that weekend.

She is a mess. Her behavior actually worries the mobster a bit. He fears she could become unhinged and do something horrible.

I, on the other hand, told him he needs to text her back and tell her not to contact him again and then let her know that if she ever does send another text to him he will file a restraining order against her.

Don’t worry. I’m still sitting on my hands. Instead of texting her I’ll just say as they do in the south, “Well bless her heart. I’ll be praying for her.”


7 thoughts on “The County Is Coming For You!

  1. Sam… I seriously can’t stop laughing over the county coming to get the mobster… 😂. What the actual hell?! Did she think he would panic and make you leave? “Hurry Sam, you have to go, the county is coming.” Bat shit crazy for sure.


  2. I’ve been following you for some time now. I’ve read all your posts over the years and I’m quietly rooting for you and your family. I think you’re a courageous woman of integrity Sam. And funny as hell.

    I think the Mobster’s fears are well founded. If what you write is true….and I have no reason to think it isn’t….his ex is not only an alcoholic, I think she is mentally ill. And not in a laughing it off kind of way. She sounds dangerous, like she’s disintegrating. I don’t think he should text her back. Don’t reward her behavior with a response. And I think that restraining order should be served if the court will issue it.

    So, for whatever that’s worth. I do have professional experience in law enforcement and the mental health field. Take good care. S


    1. The problem is they won’t issue it. I know she is deranged, I lived thru the change. I talked to the magistrate here for over an hour ( this was last year). It seems without a direct threat the judge will very, very rarely issue an order of protection. In reality if she implodes I just need to be ready. A piece of paper will not stop bullets.


    2. Hi Susan. Welcome! Thank you for commenting.

      I’m curious. What leads you to believe she’s mentally ill? I can see it. I find it bizarre how she’ll send him a text one day, telling him she hopes he goes to hell, and then turn around a day or two later and ask for a favor. A couple months ago she texted, “I can hardly wait until you go to hell,” and then texted him asking for a ride somewhere. When he asked her about her last text (meaning the go to hell one; he had blocked her and didn’t see the one asking for a ride) she laughed it off. She calls him up and will go on and on forever about how much she misses him and how great of a husband he was, but she never says she wants to come back, and within days she’s sending hateful texts again. It’s not frequent, but there is definitely a pattern.

      Some days I think it’s the alcoholism pickling her brain, almost as if she doesn’t remember what she’s said. Or, when she’s sober she’s pissed and when she’s drunk or high she just doesn’t care. Other days I think she simply hates the idea he’s moved on; I don’t think she ever thought he would. Instead she figured he would always be standing ready, waiting for her to return. She’s like a toddler that doesn’t want that toy but she doesn’t want anyone else to have that toy either. I could be wrong. I’m certainly no professional when it comes to this. But I’m definitely interested in your interpretation of the events and how best to proceed.


  3. My ex husband was like this. Also an alcoholic and we all know what good that does to your mental state. I also feared he would implode (maybe he still will, I don’t know) but in the end you can’t save them. You have to save yourself and your kids or else they will take you down with them. Thankfully my ex hooked up with a new “victim” who, as it turns out, may not be quite the victim she appears so maybe they deserve each other/go well together. And I applaud you for “no response”. It drives them nuts and, as they say, don’t wrestle with pigs. You get covered in shit and the pigs love it!


    1. You’ve gotta love it when the predator becomes the prey.

      I think that lesson- that you can’t save them and you need to save your kids and yourself- is a lesson that more people should be taught. Like, actively taught. Way before you even get into a relationship. He looks back now and he wonders why he stayed, why he put up with so much. I think most of it was his upbringing and this thought that a two parent, intact home is the best. If she had continued to function as she did at the beginning of their marriage it would have been the best option. But instead everything began to spiral.


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