My Mom Made Me Write This

My mother has a problem with me calling Harley’s kids “mulligans”. They are innocent children, she tells me. They have done nothing. It is not their fault their mother is a whore. She wants me to stop calling them mulligans. She thinks it’s derogatory. Actually, she thought it was synonymous with hooligan.

In response I told her that calling them mulligans had nothing to do with them personally; it has to do with what they represent to CF. I’m not using the term to insult them; I’m using it to throw shade at him.

Mulligan- a second chance to perform an action, usually after the first chance went wrong through bad luck or blunder.

…when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action.

A do-over.

The term is now widely used to describe any “do-over” or second chance after initial failure.

I don’t refer to them as such to be cruel. They represent CF’s second chance, his “do over”, if you will. He gets to pretend like his first two children don’t exist. He gets to pretend like he’s daddy of the year. I’m using a term to describe what they are to him.

Perhaps it is cruel. I prefer to think of it as flippant. “Hey! How are those replacement kids working out for ya, CF?” Mulligan is easier to type. 

But to appease my mother I will do my best to not refer to them as such. They are, after all, innocent children who have a whore for a mother and have to live with CF. They’ve got enough on their plate.

Now That My Blood Pressure Has Stabilized…

Nothing like finding out your ex is lying and conning you out of rightful support to get the blood pumping. I’m already dealing with high blood pressure. This was not needed. Suffice to say he has used up all of my good will. There will be no mercy. Only justice.

I fired off an email to my lawyer either shortly before or shortly after I posted my last entry. Then I shot off an email to the caseworker to ask her some questions as well.

I discovered he moved full time to Mississippi. Now, that could be inaccurate. Where he is now is less than 30 minutes from where we lived back in 1998 through 2000. He lives very close to the town our daughter was born in. We lived right across the border from Memphis, so there is a possibility he is living in Tennessee and working in Mississippi. Although, from what I remember from my time living there Tennessee does not have a state tax so come tax time it’s a real nightmare for those living in one state while working in another. Real estate is also less expensive on the Mississippi side.

I also discovered Harley and two of the mulligans went with him. They moved at the end of June. She told her ex that his plant had closed down so they had to move. She’s a liar, too. I made sure to let her ex know that his LinkedIn bio has him working at this company since March, and that his previous company is still very much open.

I have to admit the fact that she was finally forced to pull up roots and move delights me. I hope she hates it there. The fact that her kids are finally feeling the consequences of what those two fuckwits are doing, instead of benefitting from their behavior all the time, also delights me.

At the same time I am very sorry she was able to do this to The Saint. I told him as much. Despite whatever money problems I may have those pale in comparison to having my children live with Harley the Whore. My kids are nowhere near her and I couldn’t be happier about that. That poor guy is living a nightmare with his kids living with my former fuckwit and now being whisked six or so hours away.

Him having a job and moving down to Mississippi could all be very beneficial to me and my case. It’s very hard for him to plead poverty when he’s been working with very little interruption. I am eager to hear his explanation for why he modified spousal support all those months despite the fact he was working.

Another positive for me? I would not be surprised in the least to find out he got a nice hefty check for moving expenses. They always give you way more than you really need to make that move. So when he tries to tell the judge he had no way to pay those legal fees he was ordered to pay he’s going to be swinging in the breeze. Liar!

Also good for me? I am fairly certain he’s making more money now. We will soon find out. That’s good news because if he’s making more than the $170,000 he was imputed at we’ll be using that new salary. If he’s not making more than the $170,000 he was imputed at it will still be to my advantage because if a judge in Mississippi wants to use his actual numbers instead of imputed numbers it’s going to be higher for me.

Speaking of judges in Mississippi, did you know that Mississippi is supposedly one of the most biased states when it comes to divorce and mothers? Did you know that Mississippi takes into consideration adultery and other bad behavior when it comes to awarding spousal support and custody of the children? Furthermore, did you know that Mississippi is one of only a few states that orders child support until the child is 21?

That would be why I have a call into my caseworker. I have no problem with handing the case to a judge in Mississippi. I’m eager to do so.

In the meantime, I am planning on taking him back to court for contempt- both on the legal fees issues, and the non-payment of full child support. I’ll be asking for my legal fees again. I am also fully steering the wheel this time. I’ve already told my lawyer I want his bank records subpoenaed from 2014 on. If he actually siphoned off money then he can have a grand ol’ time explaining to the judge why he’s always crying poverty and why he hasn’t paid me my legal fees.

Another interesting tidbit? When CF sent Picasso’s birthday card he was such a lying, devious bastard he actually used his Kentucky address as the return address. I’m keeping that envelope for court. I’m almost certain if either one of us moves we are supposed to inform the court. Not only did he not do that he outright tried to make it appear he hadn’t moved when he did!

Furthermore, I got confirmation that those two definitely belong together. Turns out one of the sons is living with The Saint. I knew that. What I didn’t know is that Harley told The Saint that she got her wish- getting rid of that particular son and The Saint. Isn’t she amazing? As grand a mother as CF is a father.

I told him that CF is never happy and he will never be happy. He’s a miserable person. The Saint responded that Harley was the exact same way. Never happy. That ought to be a fun relationship.

I’m always the crazy one!

No! I’m always the crazy one!

I’m not happy. You’re not dancing pretty enough for me.

You’re not happy? I’m the one who’s not happy.

Plus, her daughter is still going to school in Kentucky. I’m assuming she’s going to use her dad’s address now but that should be tricky at tax time. I’m also not sure if she’s down in Mississippi with them right now or if she’s stayed put.

Right now, in a bit of irony, my lawyer is promptly responding (must be the magic words: let’s go to court) while I have yet to hear from the caseworker. I am very interested in finding out if we hand this over to Mississippi if they will institute child support once again for Rock Star, even if CF manages to modify it in Virginia. From what she was saying about Kentucky I would think they could.

I’m crossing my fingers that slow and steady will win the race. Despite my initial shock I really do think that all of this is going to work out to my advantage when it comes time to go to court.

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!

That goddamn, no good, cousin fucking sonofabitch! That motherfucker has a job! That motherfucker has had a job since MARCH! March, I’m telling you! This whole time he’s been acting like he’s paying all he can he’s had a job.

While I’m freaking out trying to figure out how in the hell I’m going to pay my daughter’s tuition that cousin fucking, low life, sonofabitch had a motherfucking job and was letting me flail in the wind.

I’ve picked a fucking option.

Juicy, Juicy!

Long story short I was trying to find an image of a state issued child support check. Google must love me because eventually it turned up “support modification when one child emancipates”. I curiously googled Virginia laws because they’re all different. This is what I found: If you have multiple children and have a child support order, you will need to modify your child support order for each child as he/she reaches the age of 18.

Well that sounds promising, doesn’t it?

The site goes on to say: Child support in Virginia is calculated… by the Court in a lump sum for all children…

Once your child has reached this landmark, it is up to you to ask the Court for a modification… The Court will not, on its own, reduce the amount of support. Nor, can you reduce the amount of support without an Order of the Court. If you do reduce your support, without a Court Order, the Court can hold you in contempt for not complying with a Court Order…

…if you have two children and one turns 18 and has graduated from  high school, your support will not be reduced by half.

Now that is interesting, isn’t it? It sounds a whole lot like what I’ve been saying and what CF has repeatedly ignored.

But wait! There’s more. According to this particular site, which is maintained by a lawyer in the DC area: So, if you have a child approaching age 18 and graduation from high school, what should you do? It takes several months to get a support hearing added to the Court’s docket, so start thinking and planning ahead… Talk to your lawyer ahead of time so that a Petition for Modification of Child Support can be filed immediately once the change occurs.

The reason for filing immediately is that in Virginia child support cannot be changed retroactively. Which means that if your child turns 18 in May and graduates from high school in June, child support does not automatically change in June. If you don’t file for the modification of support until September, then the Court can only order the change in support retroactive to September, the date of filing, not the date the change occurred. The amount you paid in June, July, and August is gone, can’t do anything about it…

What’s that you say? Child support can’t be changed retroactively? Oh my! He hasn’t filed for a modification and she graduated in June of 2018. That’s one, two, three, four… oh gosh, fourteen months he’s let go by. Is it just me or does it sound like he owes me over $12k in back support?

Here’s where it gets even more fun: Do not reduce your payments until the Court states you can reduce payments. If you do, you are in violation of a Court Order and can be held in contempt… The Court will hold you liable to the amount the Court ordered in its last Order until a new Court Order is signed by the Judge.

I did appreciate this little tidbit of advice: If you are the person receiving support, do not agree to any reduction in modification of child support due to a child reaching maturity until you consult with an attorney… wait until the person paying support files with the Court for a Modification of Support. The amount ordered by the Court is what the payer has to pay until a new child support Order is entered.

Wait one minute! Is this website saying that CF actually owes me $1800/month for child support, and not the $900 he’s been paying? Are they also saying that it was actually his responsibility to get the court order modified?

And the grand finale: If the support payer has unilaterally decided to pay you less due to one child reaching maturity, and no new child support Order has been entered, you have the right to file for a Rule to Show Cause against the payer in Court. This is where the payer must come to Court and explain why he/she has reduced child support payments. The Court will not accept the payer’s argument that one child reached maturity, and therefore, the payer decided to pay less.

This is the cherry on top: …by taking the payer to Court on a Show Cause, you will not change the amount of support owed to you. That can only be done by a Petition for Modification.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus! If this is true he is going to lose his mind. I get to take him to court for contempt and he still doesn’t get to change the amount paid to me?

Okay, okay! I know this sounds like great news, but is it? It doesn’t do me a whole lot of good to be awarded that amount if I don’t actually ever receive that amount. Kind of like the legal fees he was supposed to reimburse me. I’m doing great on paper. It’s reality that kinda sucks.

Let’s not forget how excited I was after I talked to someone in the Child Support Enforcement agency here in Indiana. I really thought he was finally going to get nailed to the wall. What happened though? In the end I’m told a judge in Kentucky will make all the decisions and I’ll probably end up with less than he was voluntarily paying.

Am I greedy attempting to go for all the back support at the full amount? At one point (when I was feeling pretty beaten down) I would have settled for receiving the correct amount of child support, half of my legal fees, and the back support owed from the new amount.

Now I kind of think he should have to pay an asshole tax.

Here’s where I keep ping ponging back and forth. My options are 1. Take him back to court and seek another show cause hearing because he self-modified child support and never modified it legally. 2. Offer him a deal. I’ll use my current earnings at each step (meaning there will be three or four different calculations due to different premiums and small raises). He uses the $170,000 he was imputed at. He continues to give me credit for both kids on the insurance premiums. He pays all of my legal bills because this was his modification to get, not mine. He agrees to split college and medical expenses for Rock Star 50/50. 3. I eat shit and get this over with quickly. I give him the new figures using my income at each step, only take into consideration Picasso when it comes to the insurance premiums, and I ask for only 50% of my legal bills.

Option #3 sucks for me. It might be the fastest, most efficient way to end this, but it gives him all the power and control. It’s basically telling him, “Yes, you fucked with me and got away with it. You self-modified child support and not a damn thing happened to you because you are so spectacular!”

Honestly? I hate option #3. In the end it gives me a few extra dollars a month (or about $180) and possibly cuts my legal bills in half, but I wouldn’t have to go back to court.

Option #2 wouldn’t give me the satisfaction of seeing the look on his face when the judge orders him to pay over $12,000 in back support, but I think it would give me basically what I wanted originally.

I realize Virginia doesn’t care about Rock Star but her father should. Yes, I would be turning the screws a bit to get what I want, but I think expecting him to help her out with college expenses and to continue to help with her medical expenses is more than fair considering he could potentially be looking at more than $12,000 in child support arrears. With a judgement like that, plus the interest, he could be paying child support until both kids had graduated college. And, for me, the fact that I’m using my current earnings, up to and including every 25 cent raise, would be somewhat easier to take knowing he doesn’t get out of giving me credit for the insurance premiums I’m still paying for his daughter.

Getting my legal fees paid for would also be a nice cherry on top.

If I were assured the judge would rule my way and I would actually get my money Option #1 would be the most satisfying. I told you, you asshole, that you needed to get that modified and you ignored me. You even went so far as to tell me you wouldn’t pay me an extra dime until my lawyer gave you the new figures and you insulted me by calling this modification revisionist history. Now you owe me twelve grand. Enjoy paying child support long after Picasso graduates.

I always return to the fact that I never win when I try to skirt the rules. I’m sure if I went into court, my chest puffed out and ready for the judge to sock it to him, I would be told that child support was being modified back to June of 2018, regardless of what that website says. It never pays for me to get cocky. By all accounts he should be in contempt. He should have taken care of this himself. Yet, I don’t dare get overconfident that it will all fall my way.

The other thing I need to consider is whether or not he’s actually working. Taking a man with no job to court could be a very stupid thing to do. I believe he has a new job but I don’t know for certain. I find it very hard to believe he would pay me much in spousal support at all if he wasn’t working. I also don’t believe he would have sent either of his kids money for their birthday either. I definitely don’t believe Harley would have given him the money to do so.

Then again, the judge may not care. He might tell him, just as he did the first time, that if he were willing to move he could make more money. If he chooses to remain in Kentucky then if he needs to work a second job to make ends meet or meet his court ordered obligations, so be it.

I don’t know why I struggle with this. It’s not like he has ever once attempted to go above and beyond. He knows damn well he owes more in child support and yet he has made no move to get it modified. He’s perfectly content to sit on his ass and let me pay all the legal bills to get it modified- all while saying with a straight face, “Her business affairs are none of my concern. I did not tell her to hire a lawyer and I have no control over how long it takes you to do your work.”

I have no doubt that until I push the issue he will continue to act like what he’s paying is all he can muster up. He would continue paying his self-modified spousal support along with his self-modified child support as long as I let him. You think he’s planning on getting caught up? I don’t.

My fear is that no matter what I do I’m going to end up in court anyway. He’s not going to pay that $25,000 for legal fees until I force the issue. He’s not going to pay his spousal support arrears until I force the issue. He probably won’t pay child support arrears, even at the lower amount, until I force the issue. Hell, it’s entirely possible that even if he agrees with my offer that I would have to take him to court to force the issue.

What to do? What to do? Again, I don’t want to come across as greedy. Like I deliberately set him up. I don’t want it to appear as though I assured him I would get the lawyer and have her get all the information over to him. I know; I know. Had he done what he was supposed to this wouldn’t even be an issue, would it? He was the one court ordered to pay me; it was always his responsibility to get it modified. He chose instead to stomp his feet and tell me if I wanted it I needed to come get it. And deal with the ensuing legal bills as well. He’d just sit back and let me do all the work once again.

I suppose I also worry that somehow not giving him the opportunity to come to an agreement will reflect badly upon me.

The mobster thinks I need to talk to someone in Virginia in their Child Support Enforcement agency. He called Kentucky for me and the person at their Child Support Enforcement office told him he should talk to Virginia. I’m afraid I’ll get the same runaround as I did in Indiana. One person will tell me one thing. Another person will tell me another. Then the last person to tell me anything will tell me they can’t give me any legal advice because they’re not lawyers.

I’m torn between believing I need to talk to a lawyer in Kentucky, my lawyer in Virginia, or someone from the Support Enforcement agency in Virginia. And maybe Kentucky as well. It’s never easy, is it?

I need to make a decision soon. Feel free to weigh in with your thoughts and reasoning. I would love to hear any and all ideas. Some days I think I’m leaning towards offering him a deal, fully believing he’ll spit in my face even after I point out he’s screwed. I’m betting he won’t believe it. Other days I figure, “Hell, why involve the middle man? Take his ass to court and let the chips fall where they may.”

Bottom line is this: I worry about court. I’ve had it happen where I was told support would only be modified back to the date he actually requested it, only to have it be modified all the way back to June, when he first lost his job. The judge didn’t change child support, but he knocked $3000 a month off of my spousal support.

I worry that we’ll go back and CF will try to get spousal support lowered due to me continuing to live with my mom. Or he’ll try to bring up some crazy reason that he shouldn’t have to pay spousal support period.

I worry that we’ll go back and child support will be modified back to June 2018 and he won’t have to pay my legal fees either. I make $14/hour. My lawyer charges $300/hour. You do the math. I’ll be working a lot to pay for that court hearing. Regardless, I’ll have to pay her and he would be ordered to reimburse me. We’ve all seen how wonderfully that has played out.

I have a daughter who is going to end up with around $50,000 in student loans. She has cost me over $700 in medical bills so far this year and she is probably going to need to get her wisdom teeth taken out before too long. I also need to add renter’s insurance to my policy this year, thanks to her moving into an apartment complex. I could use some help.

Sorry for the rambling nature of this post. If it’s any consolation I’ve talked myself out of Option #3 while writing this. That narrows it down to “Let’s Make a Deal!” versus “Go Directly To Court!” Thoughts? Opinions? Words of wisdom?

No Thank You

I am doing my best to raise polite children. I remember one year at Halloween I was coaching Picasso on what to do and say at the houses when he stopped for candy. I stressed the importance of saying, “Thank you,” and using his manners. I thought we were all set.

When he went up to one of the houses the occupant was apparently offering up something he did not wish to have. I heard, “No, thank you. I don’t like that,” before he turned around and walked back to me.

He was polite about it. I must give him points for that. And assertive. Definitely not afraid to speak up.

Now, maybe a good 10 years later he has received a birthday card and a check from his father. My mom took him to cash it last week and I believe he has spent the majority, if not all, of the money.

I know I write a lot about not propping up the other parent, validating your kid’s feelings about said parent, and not bullshitting them. I try very hard to walk that line between letting him vent and allowing him to have the relationship he wants with his dad.

The other night I texted him his dad’s contact information. I told him he needed to at least acknowledge the fact he had received the card, and thank him for the check.

First he asked why. I told him it was because I was raising him to be a polite young man with impeccable manners and not a flaming asshole.

He flat out refused. He said, and I quote, “I refuse to talk to him.”

At that point I told him I was not arguing about this with him. I told him to send him a thank you and to get on with his night. I told him it wasn’t about his dad. It was about him and showing that he had manners and that I wasn’t dropping the ball in raising him.

That’s probably not the best reason to give, is it?

He compromised. He agreed to tell him he received the card and check, but warned that was as far as he would go.

Later he came out and talked to me. I again told him it wasn’t about his dad; it was about being polite and doing the right thing. I told him his dad had sent him a check and he should thank him for that.

His counterpoint was that if he started acting like a father maybe he would be more willing to thank him. I believe he referred to his dad sending him a card and a check as the bare minimum. Personally, I think sending a card would have been a bare minimum, but I digress.

He followed up his counterpoint with: Yeah, he sent me $100. And how much does he still owe you?

Fair enough, although I do think the two things are separate issues.

The other issue for him is he does not want his dad having his phone number. I guess I could have him write a note.

I’m torn. On one hand I still believe in thanking a person when they’ve given a gift. I really think you should send a hand written note, but if nothing else, send a damn text acknowledging it. On the other hand I think Picasso makes some good points.

His dad has not behaved as a dad. He calls him by his name instead of referring to him as “Dad”. His card and gift were late. He’s failed to even acknowledge his birthday before. Picasso feels as though his dad spent almost a year gas lighting all of us so he could claim PTSD and get out of paying child and spousal support. He doesn’t trust him. He doesn’t believe anything he says.

I don’t remember if I shared this, but shortly before Father’s Day he was out buying a birthday gift for his sister when he happened upon a bunch of Father’s Day shirts. He had my mom take a picture of one that said, “This Is What a Cool Dad Looks Like” and told her he should get that for the mobster. Then a devious thought occurred and instead he said, “No! I should give that to the mobster and take a picture of the two of us together and then send that picture to CF.”

I’m thinking that if he had done that he probably wouldn’t have received a birthday gift. Then this whole, “Should he send a thank you note/text or not?” saga would not exist.

On a lighter note, Picasso didn’t seem to notice his dad got new checks. New checks that make it quite obvious he and the cousin whore are married now. They are cutesy country style checks and read CF & Harley Buttwipe.

Wow- he must feel super special. She hyphenated her name when she married her first husband. I don’t know if she just loves CF so much she only wants the world to acknowledge her married name, or if he threw the same little tantrum he threw when I suggested hyphenating my nam. Hey, Romeo, it’s not going to stop her from fucking other men. It’s what she does.

To my knowledge he still has not told either of the kids he married her so I was a little worried about how Picasso would react upon realizing his dad had gotten married and never bothered to tell him or Rock Star. He’s Father of the Fucking Year material, I tell ya!

Three More Years, Lord; Get Me Through Three More Years

We just found out Rock Star lost all of her scholarships due to me raking in a cool $44,000 two years ago. Apparently, when you move up from $25,000 to $44,000 you’re suddenly rich! I am probably considered a 2%-er at this level.

You know what’s even funnier than considering $44,000 to be rich? That $25,000, where we were still expected to come up with four grand for college, consisted mainly of five months of generous spousal support. During that time I was also court ordered to pay the mortgage, the utilities, and all the marital debt. My household bills were around $5000/month so my spousal support didn’t even cover everything once I included my car payment and insurance (for both of us, no less!). I actually earned around $3000 that year. I worked from October 31 through December 31st- a full two months. I wasn’t saving up money because I was too busy trying to pay all of our bills. Later, I was busy working two jobs at $10 and $11 an hour, barely making ends meet even with no rent or mortgage.

They’re basing my ability to pay almost $9000 for tuition this coming year on a job where I was scheduled to work only 36.5 hours a week and got paid $11/hour. The $44,000 comes mainly from the large lump sum he had to pay, seeing as how he declined to pay spousal or child support for a solid 10 months. That was the big increase because he sure as hell didn’t pay what he was supposed to the rest of the year until that final month. At that point he was severely behind in child support so what he did pay mainly went to child support. Not to mention that a big chunk of that back support went to pay my lawyer. I was in the middle of a contentious divorce where he was trying to feign PTSD to garner pity from the court so he wouldn’t have to pay much in support.

I can hardly wait to see what next year brings. And no, we can’t appeal the FAFSA. It’s too late. By the time they told her what she was being awarded it was too late.

Instead, she took out a student loan which my mom cosigned on. My credit is still in the toilet after what CF did to us. Right now she’s on target to graduate with about $50,000 in student loans seeing as how the only financial “aid” she qualifies for is more student loans.

I think my favorite part of this whole story is how absurd it is. My kid doesn’t qualify for any kind of aid (aside from loans, of course) because I have been deemed too rich and therefore not needy. Yet, I don’t make enough money, even when CF is paying full support, to live in a home of my own. Or, if I did I would be dead broke all of the time. I sure as hell couldn’t come up with almost nine grand to send my kid to school. I don’t have a bedroom to call my own. If not for my mother’s generosity my kids and I would be living in a homeless shelter. Hey- I wonder if people living in homeless shelters get financial aid? Nah, they probably figure those living in homeless shelters can afford to pay double tuition. They don’t have to worry about rent after all.

My taxable income last year, after I paid insurance premiums, put a tiny bit into my HSA account, and contributed my whopping 6% to my 401k was just over $19,000. But my daughter didn’t qualify for any aid for this year and she won’t qualify next year either because once again he paid me a lump sum for back support. Granted, I took almost half of that payment and sent it to my lawyer for legal fees, and then continued to pay legal fees for another few months, but what does that matter? I’m loaded!  Another point not in my favor? He actually paid support the entire year. The fact he’s only paid full spousal support one month out of this year is a moot point. The only thing that matters is that I am rich on paper. Super rich! I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to find out she no longer qualifies even for the fucking loans next year. We’re probably put into a special class of people who can easily afford a higher tuition rate.

This circles right back to my post, Always Something There To Remind Me, Part 1. It’s always something. It never ends. There is always some new twist, some new development where he comes along and fucks up our world yet again.

I am so tired of having to comfort a crying and devastated child. I’m so tired of being the one who has to tell a kid that her dreams are being dashed yet again. I’m tired of not getting my full support. I’m tired of having to chase him back to court over and over again.

My current mantra is, “Three more years! Just let me get through three more years!”

The Card Arrived

Hell froze over. Picasso’s dad sent him a birthday card. He got it on Saturday. Only five days after the fact. Better late than never, right?

In all seriousness I was happy for him. I wasn’t here when he actually received it but from what my mother said he wasn’t very impressed. He did cash the check, though.

The card was his typical, “I love you so much,” schtick. I try not to criticize. I know it’s preferable to him forgetting the child completely, but seriously? I’m supposed to give him credit because he managed to send a card to his only son on his birthday? Oh wait- he also gave him $100.

I swear to God, that man has a job again.

I took what limited funds I have and used it to take him out to dinner, buy him a small gift, and throw him a birthday party with his friends.

The mobster bought him a $100+ video game he’s been wanting (which doesn’t come out until September).

His sister bought him a pair of shorts and a shirt, took him out to lunch, and attempted to give him a driving lesson. “I could only stand 15 minutes. He’s horrible, Mom!” she told me afterwards.

His Nana bought him a birthday gift and went out to dinner with him, as did his aunt and uncle.

Sending a card and a check was the least his father could do. I refuse to blow sunshine up his ass and ooh and ah over the fact he managed to do the bare minimum.

I realize it may sound petty, or that I associate love with money, but this is a man who once had $5000 a month to blow on whatever he wanted. He had no bills. Just a whore and her mulligans. Not once did he slip his kids some extra money so they wouldn’t go without. He spent just as much on her kids at Christmas as he did his own. He never once offered to take them shopping for clothes or something frivolous. Every dime (and I do mean every dime- his bank account was down to $165 right before he had to finally start paying support) went to Harley the Whore and her kids.

I say again, however, that I am thankful he did not completely ignore the child. Plus, I think he managed to give both kids more for their birthdays this year than he ever has since our separation.

Hooray for Picasso. Hooray for both of my kids.

Picasso Turns 17

Did I ever tell you that CF wished Rock Star a happy birthday via Venmo? He didn’t send a card. Didn’t text her. Didn’t call her. Certainly didn’t arrange to come see her. I suppose I shouldn’t mock his efforts, though. He did at least wish his daughter a happy birthday and more importantly, at least to her, he sent her $100. Yet another reason why I think he has a job.

Today his son turns 17. Picasso doesn’t have a Venmo account. His father continues to sell the story that he doesn’t have his phone number, so texting or a phone call is out. That leaves sending a birthday card or coming up. I think we can all agree he won’t be making that trip. We are now down to our final option- sending a birthday card.

Sad to say there was no mail today. No acknowledgement of his son’s birthday. Perhaps it is still in transit. Perhaps. I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

For the life of me I don’t see how he justifies attempting to have a relationship with one child while conveniently ignoring the fact that he has another one. Out of all the horrible, selfish things that man has done ignoring his son is the thing that hurts me the most.

Fortunately for Picasso he has a kick ass mom. I love that boy with all of my heart, even when I’m tearing my hair out over his grades.

Also fortunately for Picasso he had a good day despite his father’s absence. I worked, of course, but his sister bought him a gift and on top of that took him out to lunch and even gave him a brief driving lesson. She said she could only endure 15 minutes. Hey- we’re up to 45 minutes. She said he told her he wants to get his license before school begins.

Tomorrow we are going out to dinner with the family and Wednesday night he’s having a get together with his friends at the bowling alley before heading back to the house for ice cream cake.

Now we wait to see whether or not his dad will choose to acknowledge him.