One Step Forward, 45 More To Go

I swear this saga will never end! Those of you who have been reading along this whole time might remember that I started the garnishment proceeding at the end of January- January 25th to be exact.

That was the day I called on my break and finally got a real live person to talk to. That was the day I was told that if he hadn’t modified the court order they would be garnishing him for the full $1800/month he was ordered to pay. That was the day I was also told judges don’t like it when their orders aren’t followed. So I went down to the office on my lunch, dropped off all of my paperwork, and patted myself on the back for finally taking that step. I was told because it was interstate I shouldn’t expect to hear anything for 60-90 days.

Soon thereafter he “lost” his job and stopped paying full spousal support. Has not done so since January. After frantically calling my attorney and then inquiring with the caseworker assigned to my case I find out this process will not be 60-90 days. Oh no! It will actually be 60-90 days until Indiana gets everything to Virginia and then Virginia gets it back. It will be yet another 60-90 days for that same process to happen between Indiana and Kentucky.

Sometime between late April and early May I find out once everything goes to Kentucky a judge in that state will then modify the court order and take over the entire case. I spend another month going back and forth with the caseworker, making sure I understand exactly how this process is going to work. Finally, believing that I’m going to get screwed if I go with a garnishment order through Kentucky I opt to drop the case, not that it mattered.

Even if I had chosen to go ahead I would have had to have started all over again because just as we were getting ready to send this on down to Kentucky Jerry Lee and Harley scooped up the mulligans and headed on down to Mississippi.

I found out in late July that he had a new job and that he was now living in Mississippi. I contacted the caseworker to ask about that and how that would work, especially since at the time I wasn’t sure if he was living in Mississippi or Tennessee. Shortly after getting confirmation he was indeed in Mississippi I chose to go ahead with the modification/garnishment.

My interstate meeting was on September 10th. I was told then that it would take another 60-90 days. We’re coming up on 60 days. Suddenly I began thinking, “What, exactly, happens in 60-90 days? Is it over in that time period? Is he simply notified? Is that when the court hearing and modification should be done but then the garnishment comes later?” I had all sorts of questions!

I emailed my caseworker and asked her exactly what would happen in those 60-90 days. I asked her for a play-by-play of what would happen and let her know I needed to prepare myself because once he got word he probably wouldn’t be paying anything until after the hearing and until he was garnished.

I got some answers last week. Mississippi has received the case; however, their state is experiencing “issues” with their system so she was unable to see any other information. All she could say was that they had received the case. She went on to tell me that the 60-90 day timeframe refers to the length of time it takes for the other state to receive the case, add it to the computer system, review the case, and then forward it to the correct county. In other words, while Mississippi has received the case she has no idea if any of the other things have been done.

Additionally, once the county gets the case, she believes they have another 45 days to review it and file. Awesome!

I’m guessing that once it’s filed there will be another waiting period. How long that waiting period is is anyone’s guess. I haven’t written her back yet so I don’t have an answer.

I keep trying to tell myself that even though this process sucks big huge donkey balls, once it’s done it will be done and I never have to deal with him again. It’s a tough sell because I gave myself that same pep talk when construction on my pool took 10-12 weeks instead of the promised 3. I didn’t tell myself I would never have to deal with him again, of course, but I did tell myself that even though it was taking 3 times longer to get the pool built once it was done it would be something that I could enjoy for years to come. That didn’t turn out so well for me. But, he can’t cheat on me again. Or divorce me again. Or, make me lose everything I’ve ever owned in my life again. So, I suppose that Zen thinking might help me through.

I try to remind myself that once he’s been garnished he can’t ever fuck around with the payments again. He can’t decide he’s going to pay less spousal support. He can’t modify it on his own. When Picasso graduates he might not even be able to stop paying child support until he’s actually filed to get it stopped in court. Nope, just checked. It terminates automatically in Mississippi. Awesome.

Please, Lord, make this worth it for me. By the time he’s actually garnished I figure he’ll be paying child support for a little over one more year. Hopefully they will continue garnishing him for spousal support.

Meanwhile, I sent my lawyer an email as well. I told her I had contacted her last month to see where we were and if she would be able to file my case before the end of this month and I had yet to hear back from her. I let her know that I would prefer to stick with her since she had all the background information on my case, but if she couldn’t do it to please refer me to someone else.

I guess those must be the magic words because she emailed me back pretty quickly. She apologized, of course, and told me that lately all of her cases were going the litigation route instead of settling. She hasn’t taken new clients in months and I’m not the only one that has been put on the back burner. She told me she wanted to finish out my case but wouldn’t be able to get to it until the new year. She went on to say she understood if I wanted to move on and gave me the names of a few people I could try. I will probably regret this but I’m going to email her back and ask her if she thinks she can get to it in January or February. If she can, I’ll wait it out. It’s not like my other issue will be settled by then. If she can’t then I’ll switch lawyers.

One day… one day this will be over.

6 thoughts on “One Step Forward, 45 More To Go

  1. Someday, when both kids are grown you can say you don’t have kids with him anymore. Because technically, he disowned them years ago. He seems to have a constant pattern of just randomly pulling up stakes and leaving. Is he outrunning bill collectors in Tennessee? Funny how he couldn’t leave the house when you were married, but now he can leave several states with a wide swath of destruction behind him. Is he a tornado?


    1. He could always move. Just couldn’t leave the house once the furniture was unloaded. But you are so correct when you say in a few years I won’t even have to say I have kids with him. He will be out of my life and hopefully garnished so I get his damn money and don’t have to deal with him.


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