Still Hungry & Bitchy

I’m back and ready to complain some more.

I woke up and had 2 pieces of toast and an orange. Were you aware that a large orange has 85 calories in it? That’s almost a quarter of the calories that I’m allowed to have at each meal. Two pieces of toast with a little bit of butter and an orange ran me just under 400 calories.

Because all I had for breakfast was a stupid orange and two pieces of toast I was hungry again in about an hour. Imagine that. So I had another two pieces of toast. I’m now left with 732 calories for the day. The entire day.

What did I do? I didn’t eat. Picasso and I went downtown around 3:30 in the afternoon to play Pokemon. We ended up meeting some other people and doing some raids. We called it quits around 6:30 and went out to eat.

I went to Chili’s again. Got the same thing, minus the shrimp. I’m over 248 calories for the day. Hooray for me. My lovely little diary told me that I am on track to lose 7 pounds in 5 weeks if I keep starving myself like I am. Well that’s great news.

To top off the day we crossed the street and went to the grocery store to buy lunchmeat for the boy and so that I would have something to eat tomorrow that will fit within my ridiculous limits.

I’m perusing the aisles. The yogurt parfait that I love with the fruit and granola? The large one is 290 calories. I put that back. I already have almonds in my drawer and I’m always hungry in the morning so I’m going to have a serving of those. They are around 180 calories for what I consume so I can’t have both the yogurt parfait and the almonds later as a snack because that’s 470 calories and I’m now over my stupid 400 calorie limit, which would mean I have to cut somewhere or get my ass to the gym so I can not complete the next day of C25K.

I checked out the bagged salads. The entire bag counts as 3.5 helpings and they all have about 150-160 calories per serving. It’s lettuce, for crying out loud!

I’m at work. I’m not going to be able to take it home. I’m not going to measure it out. Ultimately I’m going to eat the entire salad, which means I’m consuming over 500 calories on a salad. A fucking salad! That also means I need to cut calories on another meal, which is already ridiculously low in calories.

What the fuck is left? I peruse the frozen food aisle. Almost all of the frozen entrees are over 250 calories for a ridiculously small portion of food. I scratch those off my list. I can have 2 Jimmy Dean egg frittatas for 260 calories. My thinking (my hope, my prayer) is that the eggs, meat, and cheese in those 2 little egg muffins will provide enough protein that I won’t be hungry again until lunch at 1. If I do get hungry again and have those almonds I’m going to be over my calorie count. It probably won’t hurt me as much tomorrow because I plan on going to the gym, but on those days that I don’t go to the gym I can’t afford it.

I check out the oatmeal. I don’t really like oatmeal but, once again, my hope is that if I eat it it will stick with me long enough to get me to lunch. I find one that is less than 200 calories. I’ll give it a try.

I bought some string cheese. It’s 80 calories for one single piece of cheese. Who the hell has only one piece of string cheese? I just said, “Fuck it!” and bought it anyway. I may eat it. I may not. It’s one big adventure, isn’t it?

I decided to see what the calorie count was for a regular yogurt. I finally broke down and purchased a four pack. 70 calories per yogurt cup.

I found some individual cottage cheese cups. Of course the ones with fruit were higher in calories so I stuck with the original. 110 calories for less than a cup.

I also found some individual cans of chicken noodle soup. A whole 7 ounces, which is less than a cup once again, for 60 calories.

So tomorrow I’m going to have those egg frittatas- 260 calories. I’m probably going to have a handful of almonds to tide me over until lunch- 180 calories. For lunch I’m planning on taking the soup, an orange, and a pudding. Grand total of calories- 205 calories. I’m taking along 2 pieces of string cheese to eat on a break in the afternoon- 160 calories. I’ll go to the gym after I drop Picasso off. Try once again to complete whatever the task is for Week 7 Day 1 on the 825 calories I’ve eaten throughout the entire day. Then for dinner I guess I’ll have another orange and some cottage cheese. Maybe another not-quite-a-cup of soup. 1060 calories. Not a complete meal to be had. I’m sure I will be delightful.

If I’m told one more time that I’m not really hungry and it’s all in my head I will probably kill somebody. No, when my stomach is burning and growling I am hungry. It is not my goddamn imagination. I know the difference between eating because you’re bored and eating because you’re hungry. When you’ve had one fucking meal all day you tend to be hungry around 6 or 7 o’clock. And when you’ve had one meal all day and you’re finally allowing yourself to eat again only you can’t have more than 800 calories which means you can’t eat anything that looks good to you or you risk going over your calorie count, you’re probably still hungry. And pissed off at the world.

I did a little research, too, because I find this 1200 calorie program to be bullshit. What I discovered through the Google god is that 1200 calories is actually the minimum that women should consume. Anything lower than that and they risk going into starvation mode. For anyone familiar with weight loss you know that once your body enters starvation mode your metabolism slows down, making weight loss more difficult. It also means that whenever you consume more calories your body hangs onto them because it has no idea when you’re going to get another meal. This program says, “Hey! I’ve got a great idea. Let’s take her right above starvation mode. That’ll be fun!”

I’m giving this until Thursday when I go out for sushi with my family. I intend to try it all and to enjoy myself. I’m giving it until then only because I’ve already bought food for this bullshit. After that I’m switching over to low carb. I like that a whole lot better than restricting calories.

15 thoughts on “Still Hungry & Bitchy

  1. I’m sorry this is so rough. I see you struggling so much. I’m definitely at the point where I need to deal with my weight differently than I do right now, I haven’t had the capacity to focus on it for awhile. So I get it.

    I have a question about the bag of salad- was it one which comes with dressing and toppings? If it was, allllll those calories are from that. Because 2 cups of spinach is 50 calories. 4 cups of iceberg even with some shredded cabbage and carrot shouldn’t be running you way over .

    I know your hunger is real. I feel for you. And sushi enjoyment is well deserved!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Yeah, I was thinking similarly to Gone – the toppings and dressing are where the problem for those bagged salads are. I eat the entire bag as a meal too.

    I never drop to the 1200 calories myself. I think I shoot for 1500-1800 on MyFitnessPal, the last time I was on it. I’ve just ballooned the last 5 years and I need to do something. I turn 50 this summer.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. A friend of mine has done AMAZINGLY with intermittent fasting, going after insulin-control with Dr. Jason Fung. (Look him up online.) It’s very simple and you adjust after the first week. She does not exercise or control diets or portions… it’s righting her entire metabolism and hormones are finally stable for weight loss. She’s lost over 50 lbs since September… she’s melting away.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear this works well because when your fasting, you don’t feel the hunger so much- like when you wake up and skip breakfast, your body just acclimates to no breakfast, it slows down a bit, but still uses energy stores you’ve got (fat)… then when it’s time for you to eat you have 4 hours so you can cram all the food in that you want, but once you eat a meal or meal and snack, your body is still in slow mode so it’s all ‘yo dude, I just need a bit’ but then since you haven’t eaten your body uses it, burns it, again- you’re not putting it on as fat.


  4. OOF. I feel ya. I lost 80 lbs on keto, and kept 70 of it off for like… 4 years? Then I got pregnant and gained a ton of weight, then my son was diagnosed with autism which is terrifying and I’ve basically been eating my feelings about it for two years. SO. Yeah.

    I probably shouldn’t recommend keto because I’ve read it’s not healthy, BUT it did kind of reset my appetite? I was never hungry on it, and even when I went off I was rarely hungry as long as I didn’t eat much sugar.

    It’s really hard. I wish I had something more helpful to say, but all I have is commiseration. :-/

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Try poaching an egg or two (put a little water in a bowl, crack an egg, then put a WET paper towel over the bowl – don’t let it touch the egg and cook for 2+ minutes) and then adding a tablespoon of guacamole. A lot of stores make their own and do NOT use mayonnaise in it. I was pretty taken aback when I saw that one of the brands I used to buy did have mayonnaise. The protein plus the healthy fats from the avocado can help keep you from gnawing your arm off with hunger. If you like it spicy you can add the necessary ingredients to make your taste buds sing.

    small egg (38 g): 54 calories
    medium egg (44 g): 63 calories
    large egg (50 g): 72 calories
    extra-large egg (56 g): 80 calories
    jumbo egg (63 g): 90 calories

    Keep in mind that this is for an egg with no added ingredients. Don’t worry about the yolk, there are some necessary micronutrients in there plus omega-3’s.

    I’m presuming that you eat eggs, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Also, try eating sashimi instead of sushi. If you’re trying to avoid the carbs, rice has a ton of them. White rice has all the carbs with none of the benefits of brown rice. You may enjoy your food more if you’re not quite as worried about the starches.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A lot of good ideas posted above, intermittent fasting and concentrating on protein instead of sugar-based snacks burn fat and are more filling long term. Bread has zero nutritional value, that’s why you’re hungry an hour after having it. Three oranges a day is a lot of sugar. Having them is causing you to store fat instead of burn it. Cut up an apple and microwave until soft. Add cinnamon and a couple almonds or walnuts. Less calories less sugar and more filling. Tastes like comfort 😃
    The best way to have a snack be filling is to do a combination of protein, fat and low carb fruit/vegetable. Instead of orange and bread why not have a small bowl of steel cut oatmeal you can make ahead and have ready with strawberries and 2-3 ground walnuts? The laughing cow cheese is 35 calories if I remember correctly and Trader Joe’s has healthy ham that’s 20 calories a slice. You could spread the cheese on the ham and top with green onion spear or olives. Roll it up. Less calories than one cheese stick. Satisfying.
    Bake chicken with olive oil and garlic powder, cayenne at 400F and serve on a bed of sautéed green beans/zucchini/asparagus whatever. Salt with kosher salt after cooking so you can control it and it tastes stronger so you use less. Takes 5 min to sauté. Add sliced garlic when done.
    Protein shake is also a great snack and sweet treat. Add frozen berries, water and a little stevia. Make extra for the day and you just re-whip it in the blender in a matter of seconds. Drink water and regular coffee or hot tea. Soda and alcohol erases the good work. It’s just a fact. It also ages our skin🤷🏼‍♀️ Especially sugar based alcohol.

    You will fill up for longer and experience less hunger once you start eating things that actually feed you, not just take hunger away.
    You could make your own broths with less sodium and calories with chicken thighs and add all kinds of greens/mushrooms/carrot/celery/sweet potatoes for healthy soup and you can have as much as you want. Easy to heat up at work too.
    It’s not how much you eat as much as what you’re eating

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Your sad panda posts have inspired me by the way. I downloaded my fitness pal.

    One thing I really encourage you to consider- the calorie counter is not the actual important part of the tool. Your tracking of activity and food is. As long as you are eating whole vibrant foods with nutrients and thinking about portions and not slathering on sauces, tracking will help. Being conscious of what you’re putting in your body so that mindless eating is curbed. If you’re needing a snack, can you have air popped popcorn instead of cheesy nachos etc etc.

    Also… because you’re a woman in your mid years I will ask- are you doing some weight training with the couch plan? Doing a quick circuit of the assisted weights at the gym may also start helping pounds slide off. Building muscles helps strengthen your ability to burn fat. I didn’t budge anything the last time I had a cardio only routine, because I had so little muscle nothing was really being used. Maybe add 15 minutes each gym visit to an arm circuit or a leg circuit? The gym people should show you how to use the machines, they are easy and safe just start with low weights.

    You have totally inspired me!!!! Now I’m with you on this track lady. I did 30min of weight training and yoga yesterday and I’m sore as hell this morning. And tracking my food. Expect more grumbling and misery frommme later 🤣

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I know, I’m thinking about redownloading MFP too. I ended up having egg salad for dinner last night and I wondered if Sam was an egg salad/hard boiled egg eater.

    Liked by 1 person

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