I’m back and ready to complain some more.
I woke up and had 2 pieces of toast and an orange. Were you aware that a large orange has 85 calories in it? That’s almost a quarter of the calories that I’m allowed to have at each meal. Two pieces of toast with a little bit of butter and an orange ran me just under 400 calories.
Because all I had for breakfast was a stupid orange and two pieces of toast I was hungry again in about an hour. Imagine that. So I had another two pieces of toast. I’m now left with 732 calories for the day. The entire day.
What did I do? I didn’t eat. Picasso and I went downtown around 3:30 in the afternoon to play Pokemon. We ended up meeting some other people and doing some raids. We called it quits around 6:30 and went out to eat.
I went to Chili’s again. Got the same thing, minus the shrimp. I’m over 248 calories for the day. Hooray for me. My lovely little diary told me that I am on track to lose 7 pounds in 5 weeks if I keep starving myself like I am. Well that’s great news.
To top off the day we crossed the street and went to the grocery store to buy lunchmeat for the boy and so that I would have something to eat tomorrow that will fit within my ridiculous limits.
I’m perusing the aisles. The yogurt parfait that I love with the fruit and granola? The large one is 290 calories. I put that back. I already have almonds in my drawer and I’m always hungry in the morning so I’m going to have a serving of those. They are around 180 calories for what I consume so I can’t have both the yogurt parfait and the almonds later as a snack because that’s 470 calories and I’m now over my stupid 400 calorie limit, which would mean I have to cut somewhere or get my ass to the gym so I can not complete the next day of C25K.
I checked out the bagged salads. The entire bag counts as 3.5 helpings and they all have about 150-160 calories per serving. It’s lettuce, for crying out loud!
I’m at work. I’m not going to be able to take it home. I’m not going to measure it out. Ultimately I’m going to eat the entire salad, which means I’m consuming over 500 calories on a salad. A fucking salad! That also means I need to cut calories on another meal, which is already ridiculously low in calories.
What the fuck is left? I peruse the frozen food aisle. Almost all of the frozen entrees are over 250 calories for a ridiculously small portion of food. I scratch those off my list. I can have 2 Jimmy Dean egg frittatas for 260 calories. My thinking (my hope, my prayer) is that the eggs, meat, and cheese in those 2 little egg muffins will provide enough protein that I won’t be hungry again until lunch at 1. If I do get hungry again and have those almonds I’m going to be over my calorie count. It probably won’t hurt me as much tomorrow because I plan on going to the gym, but on those days that I don’t go to the gym I can’t afford it.
I check out the oatmeal. I don’t really like oatmeal but, once again, my hope is that if I eat it it will stick with me long enough to get me to lunch. I find one that is less than 200 calories. I’ll give it a try.
I bought some string cheese. It’s 80 calories for one single piece of cheese. Who the hell has only one piece of string cheese? I just said, “Fuck it!” and bought it anyway. I may eat it. I may not. It’s one big adventure, isn’t it?
I decided to see what the calorie count was for a regular yogurt. I finally broke down and purchased a four pack. 70 calories per yogurt cup.
I found some individual cottage cheese cups. Of course the ones with fruit were higher in calories so I stuck with the original. 110 calories for less than a cup.
I also found some individual cans of chicken noodle soup. A whole 7 ounces, which is less than a cup once again, for 60 calories.
So tomorrow I’m going to have those egg frittatas- 260 calories. I’m probably going to have a handful of almonds to tide me over until lunch- 180 calories. For lunch I’m planning on taking the soup, an orange, and a pudding. Grand total of calories- 205 calories. I’m taking along 2 pieces of string cheese to eat on a break in the afternoon- 160 calories. I’ll go to the gym after I drop Picasso off. Try once again to complete whatever the task is for Week 7 Day 1 on the 825 calories I’ve eaten throughout the entire day. Then for dinner I guess I’ll have another orange and some cottage cheese. Maybe another not-quite-a-cup of soup. 1060 calories. Not a complete meal to be had. I’m sure I will be delightful.
If I’m told one more time that I’m not really hungry and it’s all in my head I will probably kill somebody. No, when my stomach is burning and growling I am hungry. It is not my goddamn imagination. I know the difference between eating because you’re bored and eating because you’re hungry. When you’ve had one fucking meal all day you tend to be hungry around 6 or 7 o’clock. And when you’ve had one meal all day and you’re finally allowing yourself to eat again only you can’t have more than 800 calories which means you can’t eat anything that looks good to you or you risk going over your calorie count, you’re probably still hungry. And pissed off at the world.
I did a little research, too, because I find this 1200 calorie program to be bullshit. What I discovered through the Google god is that 1200 calories is actually the minimum that women should consume. Anything lower than that and they risk going into starvation mode. For anyone familiar with weight loss you know that once your body enters starvation mode your metabolism slows down, making weight loss more difficult. It also means that whenever you consume more calories your body hangs onto them because it has no idea when you’re going to get another meal. This program says, “Hey! I’ve got a great idea. Let’s take her right above starvation mode. That’ll be fun!”
I’m giving this until Thursday when I go out for sushi with my family. I intend to try it all and to enjoy myself. I’m giving it until then only because I’ve already bought food for this bullshit. After that I’m switching over to low carb. I like that a whole lot better than restricting calories.