I’m Done Bitching- For Now

Thank you for all your comments and tips. I promise I’m going to get around to responding to each one individually.

I’m not quite as hungry as I was the last time I wrote. My menu on Monday did pretty much follow what I figured, except for dinner I had Stouffer’s macaroni and cheese. I could afford it because I didn’t run the whole 25 minutes on the C25K program so I punished myself by having to complete the entire 5K. It took me 48 minutes of running and walking, down from 50 minutes on Saturday. That gave me another 399 calories, plus I was able to walk to the park twice that day.

I was in another bad mood that day because I was hungry for most of it AND I was only able to run 18 minutes of the 25 minutes I was supposed to. I’m not even going to get into the whole “10 minute mile” expectation they have. That is NOT happening. I’m not real worried about it either.

Yesterday was a little better, mainly because I went over my allotted calories by more than 600. I didn’t go to the gym after work and I wasn’t able to take a walk during work. Then I came home and made One Skillet Chicken Enchiladas. The recipe said it made 6 servings and it was 460 calories. They never said how much a serving size was so I gave myself credit for two servings. Perhaps I didn’t eat as much as I thought. If so I only went over by about 200.

Today I had my instant oatmeal. It wasn’t terrible. I’m not really a fan of oatmeal. I had a cup of coffee with almond milk creamer at work. 24 almonds and a piece of string cheese for snacks. For lunch I had one of those ridiculous Campbell’s chicken noodle soups. It’s basically 2 or 3 spoonfuls of noodles and chicken bites, and then the rest is broth. I went with an apple today instead of an orange. Then I had a sugar free pudding. For dinner I had a 12 oz. ribeye and a half cup of peas. I’m actually under on my calories, believe it or not.

I’ve found that even though I’m hungry more often the small amount I eat at breakfast and lunch does tend to satisfy me. Of course, I want something else an hour or two later, but the point is I’m not still starving after my ridiculous lunch.

It doesn’t really matter because I talked to my nurse practitioner and she advised I ditch MyFitness Pal and instead try low carb. I tend to agree, mainly because I enjoyed low carb. I HATE counting calories. For whatever reason, I don’t mind counting carbs. Side note: I have lost 2 pounds since I began doing this. Also, I bought a watch to track my steps at the beginning of February. It seems my wrist is slimming down as I used to wear it on the 5th notch for it to be loose. Now I wear it on the 4th notch for it to be loose. It doesn’t help me fit into a smaller pair of pants but if a man has a wrist fetish my wrists are looking lovely and slim.

Today was Day 2 of Week 7 of the C25K program. I have been struggling most days since the end of Week 5. I do my best but I’m not doing what is asked. As I said above, Saturday was the end of Week 6. I was supposed to run 2.25 miles or 22 minutes without stopping. I made it 15 minutes. Got pissed at myself and walked and ran the entire 3.2 miles needed to complete this upcoming 5K. Monday I was supposed to run 2.5 miles or 25 minutes with no stopping. I made it 18 minutes. Again, walked and ran the whole 3.2 miles.

I got home today, planning on quickly changing clothes and going to the gym. I walked in the door and was greeted by a big ol’ pile of shit half on the laminated floor, half on the rug. There was another smaller pile of shit on the tile, and for the coup de grace, there was a big puddle of pee. I’m already yelling and swearing when I walk into the bedroom and there’s ANOTHER pee spot. This is on top of me already cleaning up a mess this morning.

I have no idea what’s going on with these dogs. I let them out before I go to the bathroom in the morning!

Needless to say I was not happy. Instead of changing clothes and heading to the gym I’m instead cleaning up poop and pee.

I get that done and kill some time. Then I decide, “Hey! It’s not in the 30s and it’s not snowing. Why not try running outside?”

I went across our busy street to the subdivision. I start my 5 minute walk. I begin my 25 minute run. I don’t look at the time because the mobster tells me it’s demoralizing to watch the time and see how much longer you still have. All I know is once I pass the store I’m going to see how long I’ve been running because I can already feel myself getting tired and wanting to quit.

It turns out the store is .8 miles from my house, not that I ran the entire distance. As I’m passing by it I hear the voice from the C25K program say, “Start your running now. This is run 1 of 1.”

What. The. Fuuuuck? I’m dying here and nothing I did counted! I have no idea how long I’ve been running because I didn’t check times.

I was so upset I was almost in tears. I had psyched myself up to run today. I was outside for the first time. The sun was going down, the temperatures were dropping. I was freezing. At this point I’m cussing out loud. I’m furious! Finally after a minute or two of walking I decided, “Fuck it!” I reset the running time and began running again.

My goal was to run at least 20 minutes without stopping. I can triumphantly report I ran the entire 25 minutes. And this was on top of the other 8-10 minutes I ran before I somehow reset the program on my phone.

Oh, there were definitely times I was cussing. I’m sure there were a few, “Suck it, bitches!” in there and I know I muttered, “Motherfucker,” a couple of times. Also, even though it’s a subdivision there are woods in that area and I figured if someone was hiding there and wished to abduct me I would be a goner because I was very tired. I decided if that happened I need to have Facebook up so I could put him on Facebook Live. It wouldn’t prevent my rape and murder but hopefully it would result in him being brought to justice. Unless it was Michael Meyers who got me. He’s just a ghost in the wind. I told myself I better hope my witch powers were at full strength so I could simply wave my hand in their direction and they would be gone.

This subdivision is a collection of homes, apartments, an apartment complex, and at least 3 different villa communities. I decided to cut through one of them and found that there was a lot less traffic so I stuck with that for the most part. Of course, it was also more deserted and much darker. Perfect for someone to snatch me away.

Thankfully, I made it. I ran the entire distance and didn’t get murdered or kidnapped once.

I walked the rest of the way home, fixed my ribeye steak and peas, and eventually took a shower.

Today is the first day in a long while that I feel like I might actually be able to do this. The race is in a month. I ran the entire 25 minutes- plus!

It’s getting late. It’s been a while since I had that steak. I’m starting to get a little hungry again. I’m going to go to bed instead. Tomorrow is a new day. Today I’m feeling pretty damn proud of myself.

6 thoughts on “I’m Done Bitching- For Now

  1. You’re almost done with the training! Then after the race is done you can ditch the timers and the markers and jog peacefully with your favorite music playing or listening to the birds as you daydream or think about deep things and time will fly while you run. I’m so happy you’ve realized that yes, yes, you can do it, you can do all the things you’ve set to do. Brava! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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