Who Is This Person?

Back in January I was having a conversation with the mobster. He told me he was thinking of starting this program called C25K. Having done this program years ago I jumped at the chance to train with him and get back into running.

We began in mid January. We ran three days a week and started off with a whole 60 seconds of jogging at a time alternating with 90 seconds of walking. By week four I was cussing up a storm and feeling completely defeated. I couldn’t even manage the 3 minutes/5 minutes/3 minutes/5 minutes intervals, never mind the whole “run 20 minutes without stopping.” Each week I kept trying and I kept failing. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be able to run 3 miles again.

In late February/early March I finally caved and downloaded the MyFitness Pal app. I hated it! Three whole days of torture where I was always hungry. But the mobster had been following it for 6 weeks and had lost more than 20 pounds at that time. I didn’t want to be the fat woman to his skinny man and really hated the idea of weighing more than my boyfriend so I knew I was going to have to do something. I was at my heaviest weight ever; I hated seeing myself in pictures because I knew I needed to lose weight. I downloaded a carb manager app and started watching my carb intake, limiting myself to no more than 30 net carbs a day. I made great progress in the beginning but then along came a few frustrating weeks where it seemed like nothing was budging. Fantasies of cheeseburgers, biscuits and gravy, chocolate cake, chips and salsa, and Chinese food filled my head.

For probably a year the mobster has been pointing out how bad diet soda is for me. My son has voiced concerns over me drinking it, letting me know I really need to give it up. I would agree and yet continue to drink 1-3 diet Cokes a day even as I read those articles entitled, “What Happens To Your Body When You Drink Diet Soda?” Nothing good, I can tell you that much.

Today, May 17th, I am still running. I am now able to run over an hour at a time. I’ve run 5 miles without stopping. I even have been getting up at 6 in the morning to run before work. Who would have ever thought that would happen? I was dead set against that one, let me tell ya! Now? I don’t necessarily like getting up early but I love the fact that I’m done with it before I even go to work. I’m also deliberately seeking out hills to run UP. Never would have seen that one coming.  AND I have bought some elastic bands, a set of 3 lb. hand weights, and 2 kettle bells with the intentions of doing some at home workouts on the days I don’t run so that I can build more muscle. Plus, I started taking the stairs at work. I was only using them at the end of the day instead of taking the elevator, but Friday I used them for both breaks and lunch. I went down those stairs and then when it was time to come back I went UP those stairs. Three times down and back up, and a fourth trip downstairs at the end of the day. I work on the eighth floor.

I did not give into those food fantasies. I was so good, in fact, that on Mother’s Day I made biscuits and gravy for everyone and then turned around and made myself a bacon and cheese omelet. While everyone else had Chinese food from one of my favorite Chinese restaurants I had an Atkins bar. The other night for my Mom’s birthday we went to Olive Garden. Unbeknownst to me they were only serving a limited menu so instead of having the salmon I had their salad. I lost 2.8 pounds this week despite all of those temptations and have lost a total of 30 pounds now. I’m roughly back to where I’ve remained ever since I gave birth to Picasso almost 18 years ago. It’s not a good weight for me; I still want to lose a lot more, but at least I’m back to that point instead of being 30 pounds heavier. My fat pants are falling off of me and I actually got out a pair of pants I hadn’t worn in 2 years and wore those to work on Friday. My old jeans are fitting. I’ll be breaking out the summer clothes soon and I’ll see if I can once again fit into my older summer clothes; I had to buy a whole new wardrobe last summer because almost nothing fit me anymore.

I have not had a diet Coke or any type of soda since May 3rd. I’m still going strong. Still drinking lots of water flavored with Crystal Light. Sometimes it is just water. As I said before I don’t know that I will never drink another diet Coke again. Maybe I will. I just won’t have one today.

I’m a whiner. I will admit that. I throw fits, gnash my teeth, complain endlessly, and then I do what I need to do. It floors me sometimes that I have stuck with changing my exercise habits for 4 months now. I am amazed that 3 months ago I didn’t think I was ever going to be able to run 3 miles and now I do that before I go to work. I even run 4-5 miles on occasion. I’m looking to expand my routine to include weights. I’m doing it.

I feel the same kind of amazement when I look back on my weight loss journey, seeing the first big milestone passed and now working towards the second. I’m doing all of those things I complained about- I’m giving up foods I love, cooking separate meals, skipping the pasta or the potatoes while everyone else enjoys them. There are weeks that I struggle, mainly when I don’t see much progress, but overall I pack my little low carb lunch and get on with it.

Even giving up diet Coke for now hasn’t been nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I thought I would be having major withdrawals but I haven’t. I had a moment yesterday where I thought I really wanted one, but I didn’t have one and the feeling passed.

All of this causes me to wonder, “Who is this person?” Then I realize it’s me.

15 thoughts on “Who Is This Person?

  1. That’s so awesome and don’t forget about the added benefit of being healthier and living longer to enjoy your kids and the monster!!! I hope you are proud of yourself – you should be super proud!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Yasssssss! So excited for you lovely. I like that you’re discovering your inner will, your self discipline and I hope you also really take to heart the allowance of moderation. Please let yourself have a biscuit, or some Chinese food- even if it’s a small plate ! I sometimes get the beef and greens, but toss 1/4 of the stuff with a huge pile of lightly steamed broccoli- spread out the sauce, get way more bang for buck! Or eat mainly something else but let yourself have a treat meal for special occasion. Just don’t live where your food is never fun! But holy cow! Look at you go!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Once the weight loss challenge is over I’ll allow myself some cheat days. As you probably know with low carb you really can’t cheat and continue to lose. As soon as you start eating those carbs again your body uses those as fuel instead of fat. Maybe since I’m running and doing more exercise it will work itself out. We’ll see. After July 3rd. Actually, I go on vacation starting at noon on Friday. I’ll be flying down to Virginia to see the mobster and then we’re flying to New Hampshire for his oldest son’s wedding the next day. I’m hoping there will be wedding cake, and if there is I fully intend to have a piece.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I am just now in the last week of the couch to 5k plan. And I feel so mighty! I am also using MyFitness Pal and it’s been great. Altogether quarantine has been suiting me well. No more junk food from outside!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Great job on nearly completing C25K! I sure as heck wasn’t running 3 miles by the time it was over but I did do 30 minutes. It took me a few more weeks before I got to the full 3 miles. I’m glad you like MyFitness Pal. I hated it. I was hungry all the time. Quarantine has been suiting me well, too. I laugh at those memes that talk about how people need to try their jeans on so they don’t grow out of them, or they talk about how they’re always raiding the fridge and gaining weight. Nope- not me. Of course, I’m sure working- at the office- throughout the entire quarantine has helped.

      Liked by 1 person

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