Those Magic Changes

Rock Star returns to college on Sunday. It was going to be Monday but she misses her friends and at least one of her roommates is moving in on Saturday. I feel like I’ve barely seen her this summer. Between 12 hour shifts at the hospital and every weekend spent with her new boyfriend we haven’t spent much time together.

I told her yesterday she was leaving me; she didn’t want to be with me anymore. Don’t worry. I’m only joking with her. But she told me, “I’m growing up. I’m spreading my wings.”

Yeah, she’s growing up all right. Until she needs cat litter, gas money, groceries, rent, cat food, books… Then she’s a wee wisp of a girl.

We’re supposed to go shopping Friday night after I get home from work. Saturday is Community Day for Pokemon Go but at some point we’re going to go get pedicures and do some more fun stuff. Sunday I’m going to load up my own car to help move the rest of her stuff down to her new house and then I’m taking her to dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant down there.

She is growing up. Last year she didn’t come home for Spring Break. Hell, when the campus shut down she didn’t come home. She and her roommate remained down there until finals were over. She’s supposed to be coming home more frequently to work but I’m going to wait until I see that happen. I won’t be surprised when the day comes that she tells me she got a job down in Muncie and won’t be coming home over the summer.

I told her last night she was very lucky she had me as a mom because there was no way on earth my mother would have ever agreed to let me go back to school even a day early! School starts on Monday? You can move down on Saturday. Spring Break not spent at home? Oh hell no! That will not do.

It won’t be long until she’s gone for good. I know she has no desire to live in Indiana after school is done.  She’s talking about living in Michigan now but where she thinks she wants to move is still a good two hours away. I doubt I’ll see her much.

I’m not being ridiculous. I’m being practical. I still work Monday-Friday, 8-5. That leaves the weekends. If she’s working a 12 hour weekend shift I won’t get to see her. Chances are when she’s not working she will be spending time with her friends and/or boyfriend. I’ll see her at Thanksgiving and Christmas, if I’m lucky.

This was the child that I swore was never going to sleep in her own bed. She finally made it into her own room on a consistent basis around age 10 or so. I remember she insisted she wanted her room down in the basement. I swore up and down she was going to spend one night there and then move right back up. She proved me wrong, though. That’s where she remained until we moved to Virginia.

This was the child that showered with me until she was four or five. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t take a shower by herself. Oh no. She did that. She just didn’t want me out of her sight.

She refused to spend the night at anyone’s house until around the time she was in second grade. She wanted to. She actually went with the intentions of spending the night. But then she would talk to me and decide she missed me and start crying and beg to come home.

I remember telling people I didn’t think she would ever go out with friends. She’d be one of those kids that insisted I come along to the movies with her and her friends.

I took her and her friends to a wedding one time about six or seven years ago. They were discussing another girl who attended the same gym. I said, “Wow- I wonder what you say about me when I’m not around.” Her friend looked at me and immediately replied, “Oh my God! She tells us all the time how much she loves you. That’s all she says. ‘I love my mom so much!’” Ah, those were the days.

I know she still loves me. I just never see her anymore. And I will see her even less in the next few years.

It took her twenty years but she’s finally grown up and no longer needs her momma. This is one sucky change!

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