More Musings From My Mom

For those of you who love hearing about my mom, gather ‘round. I have another story for you.

My mom likes to play this game I call, “I’m Lying To You About When I’m Really Coming Home.”

See, I’m like a 16 year old who has been left all alone in the house while her parents go out of town for a week whenever my mom leaves for a period of time. I don’t have parties and do things I shouldn’t but I do tend to leave my shoes lying around the house and I don’t always do the dishes each night. I’m a little more relaxed with my cleaning standards.

Because of this I always need an arrival date so that I am sure to have the house clean when she arrives back home. The problem with this is my mom is a liar. She’s very good at telling me she’s coming home one day and then ends up coming home 2 or 3 days earlier. When I’m not prepared. And then she laughs. She thinks it’s hysterical.

“I’m on my way home today. I’m 3 hours away!” After she told me she wasn’t coming home for another 2 days.

Yeah, real fun stuff. I’m pretty sure I have anxiety because of this.

She’s been gallivanting all around the south for these last 3 weeks. She was in Savannah visiting a friend who just moved there and then went on down to South Carolina to see a cousin and after that she went on up to Virginia where she has been staying with yet another cousin.

I knew the time was getting close so I texted her yesterday to get an arrival time.

I’m sure you’ve all seen Facebook posts or memes where someone asks a question and then they follow it up with, “Asking for a friend.”

How do you get bloodstains out of a carpet? Asking for a friend.

Anyone else eat an entire bag of double stuff Oreos while watching Hocus Pocus 2? Asking for a friend.

Does anyone know how to deal with a mouthy 16 year old? Asking for a friend.

Anyone have know if that cute guy is single? Asking for a friend.

I ask my mom, “When are you coming home? Asking for a friend…”

My mom replies, “Why does your friend want to know when I’m coming home?”


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