It’s Not You; It’s Them

I’m a little behind the times so I’m sure everyone has heard by now about Adam Levine, his “flirty” text messages, and his Instagram model. What the hell is an Instagram model anyway? Is it one of those people who can’t actually make it in the real fashion world so they plaster social media with pictures and after a certain number of followers they call themselves models?

Here’s my quick take on it:

  1. This is yet more proof that it’s not about you, what you look like, what you do, what you don’t do. The guy was married to the epitome of male fantasies (I’ll spare you my spiel on how I don’t really feel that most supermodels are the prettiest people out there; they simply have the “correct” body type) and he still stepped out.
  2. I feel sorry for his pregnant wife and I really hope she tosses his sorry ass out the door, although I doubt that will happen. As horrible as betrayal and divorce is it has to be that much more difficult when it’s playing out in a public forum.
  3. I have no pity for the Instagram model. Her opening shot was, “So I had an affair with a married man who is married to a Victoria’s Secret model.” Why does anyone need to know what his wife does? Would she have been just as eager to say, “So I had an affair with a married man who is married to a vet tech,”? Or a nurse? Or a secretary? Or a super hot and really funny BSA Analyst? Scratch that- make that BSA Analyst II.

I guess most people properly roasted her, especially considering her entire post painted her as the victim even as she’s sharing this married man moaning and groaning over her and how “hot” she is. But some defended her, pointing out as always that “she didn’t owe the wife anything; she didn’t cheat. He was the one that made vows to his wife.”

Cry me a river. Affairs are a two person crime and she went ahead willingly for the ride. That opening shot is all you need to know. She’s so incredibly hot despite her fame being limited to Instagram (and let’s be honest- how many people had even heard of her until she posted about this affair?) that a man who had A VICTORIA’S SECRET MODEL as a wife wanted to fuck her. And, of course, he wanted to name his baby with his wife after his mistress. All bow down to her glory.

Add to that her tendency to portray herself as the real victim- she was naive, she was young, she was new to the scene, and most of all she felt exploited- and she did not garner a lot of sympathy.

No, I do not accept young, naive, manipulated, yada yada yada. I’m so tired of the whole “a person’s prefrontal cortex isn’t fully formed until they’re 25.” So? All that means is you don’t always make the best decisions, or have the best reactions. It doesn’t mean you don’t know right from wrong. You get to vote at age 18. You can enter the military at age 18. And we used to marry off women, and men, too, for that matter, way before they were 25. Women and men both become parents before they’re 25. So don’t talk about your prefrontal cortex to me acting like it excuses every damn stupid thing you do.

New on the scene? Does that mean she didn’t realize she shouldn’t sleep with married men? I’m not a huge Adam Levine or Maroon 5 fan, although I do have some of their songs downloaded, but even I knew he was married.

Exploited? Unknowingly compromised? No, honey, you weren’t. At least I find that extremely difficult to believe. You were a nobody Instagram model and you had a celebrity hitting on you. It must have been very heady at the time. You were probably thinking this was your big opportunity. Sorry he disappointed you. But make no mistake you were a willing accomplice. You didn’t care about his wife. You didn’t care about his two little girls. All you cared about was you and what you could get out of this. This was your shot at fame and money. Even if he lied to you, promising to leave his wife or whatever he needed to say to make you feel special, you are still not the victim.

No, sweetie, the real victim is his pregnant wife. You know, the one who is already the mother of his two young daughters. And if it wasn’t enough that he cheated on her with a trifling ho like you he was also trying to bamboozle her into naming their child after you. It’s a delightful two-fer: If she never finds out he gets the delicious thrill of knowing his child is named after his mistress; if she does find- after the baby is born and named, of course- then she spends the rest of her life always being reminded of her husband’s treachery.

P.S. A fun fact since I’m so far behind in talking about the big celebrity scandals: I believe he is now up to five women he’s been DM’ing. Does this mean Sumner isn’t all that hot after all? At least not hot enough to keep his sole attention. Again, it goes to show you it’s not you; it’s them. This guy was chasing after everyone.

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