It’s An Infidelity Plague!

Full disclosure- I have no idea who the Try Guys are. I mean, I’ve read the headlines about the one who was all about his wife going out and cheating on his wife- with an engaged co-worker. Oh, I’m sorry. I mean, he went and had a consensual relationship with the engaged co-worker. Don’t want to risk a lawsuit.

I did a Google search. I know the basics. But until little charlatan Ned was caught cheating on his wife, Ariel, I had never heard of them.

Aside from saying I am very impressed that those that worked with him have distanced themselves from him and fired him I’m not going to write about yet another sad situation where a man professes to love his wife only to blindside her by cheating on her. No, I’m going to tackle a comment someone left on one of the articles about this.

A real forward thinking scholar left this comment:

How about people OPEN their fucking marriages? Or too much for the “religious” community? Both men and women cheat, how about stop calling it cheating? It’s natural and consensual.

You dumb bitch. Sorry- I had to get that out the way real quick. Besides, both men and women cuss and call people bitches. It’s natural. Especially when someone is a dumb bitch. #smileyface

How about people OPEN their fucking marriages?

Sweetie, the time to open your marriage is before you start to cheat. That’s a talk you should have before you have sex with someone else. And as I always like to point out, open relationships have rules, too.

If Ned and Ariel had an open marriage but one of Ariel’s rules was that Ned was not to sleep with any co-workers then BOOM he just broke that rule. Cheaters don’t like to follow rules. Period. It will never be enough. It will never be open enough. And quite frankly that’s a shitty reaction to infidelity.

“Oh, he cheated on you? Why don’t you just let him fuck other women and then it won’t be a problem?”

Why should anyone have an open marriage in the hopes of staving off infidelity if they don’t want an open marriage? Wouldn’t the actual solution be to marry someone like-minded? I realize it’s not working out all that great because some people have a tendency to lie but this idea that if everyone opened their marriages, whether they wanted to or not, all would be blissful is just shit.

Or too much for the “religious” community?

Honey, you’re putting stuff where it doesn’t belong. I don’t think it’s “religious” communities that say no to open marriages. I think it’s most people that say no. I mean, I’m not particularly religious and I have no desire for an open relationship. Because you know what else is natural? Jealousy. And that hinders an open relationship. It hinders even the desire for an open relationship.

So, I don’t think there are millions upon millions of people out there saying, “You know, if only my church didn’t forbid it….” I think most people are perfectly happy with the idea of having only one partner.

And again I will point out that there are many people out there who are very much into the idea of an open marriage for themselves, but don’t really think their partner needs an open marriage as well. What’s good for the goose is not good for the gander, according to their thinking.

Both men and women cheat, how about stop calling it cheating?

Oh, honey. We call it cheating because that’s what it is. Doesn’t matter if both men and women do it. It’s still cheating. Popularity or lack of popularity also do not define the word.

People do all sorts of things they shouldn’t. People shoplift- both men, women, old, young. Should we stop calling it shoplifting? Despite the fact that many people do it it’s still shoplifting when you take something without paying for it. Crazy, I know! Both men and women murder people. Should we stop calling it murder? Hang on tight because I know you’re never going to believe this! Despite the fact that both men and women murder people it’s still called murder and it’s still illegal.

How about this? How about we stop calling it cheating when the person is no longer cheating? If you both agree you want to open the marriage up I wouldn’t call that cheating. That’s an open relationship. You agree on monogamy and then you go fuck your secretary behind your wife’s back? That’s cheating. Doesn’t even matter if said wife is fucking the pool boy behind your back. You agreed on monogamy. You’re both liars. And yeah, even though you’re both lying to the other it’s still lying. Lying is when you don’t tell the truth. That doesn’t change depending on who’s doing it or how often. Quite honestly, in that situation I might even suggest an open marriage for the two of you. But as long as you both agree that you want a monogamous relationship you are cheating when you do the opposite of what you said you wanted.

It’s natural and consensual.

No, it’s not. It’s only consensual if everyone is in agreement- not just the two people hooking up behind their partners’ backs. I assure you the duped spouse, or spouses, is/are not consenting. They weren’t even given the option. The consensual part is only on the cheaters’ side. The betrayed spouses have absolutely no say in the matter.

Maybe what you meant to say is, “It’s selfish and a clear example of entitlement.”

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