TikTok sucks me in like nothing else.
In one of today’s videos a young woman was explaining how if you want to lower the divorce rate you need to get rid of birth control. Apparently if you take a look at divorce graphs you can see a giant increase in divorce once women were allowed to access birth control. Giving women birth control has led to women being able to escape all consequences. Excuse me while I laugh hysterically.
If you could see me right now you would see me rolling my eyes. There is so much to unpack in this internalized misogyny.
Does dumb bunny not realize how many men leave their wives after 10, 20, 30 years together? Is she unaware of the number of men that keep trading in their current wife for a younger and younger version? Is she also unaware of the number of men that essentially abandon their children in order to have an unencumbered new life with the new woman? It’s almost like she believes that the only time a woman gets divorced is when she’s bored or something. You know, kinda like deciding to try out a new haircut. “Let’s try bangs!”
I’m simply stunned that she thinks removing birth control and saddling women with 6, 8, 10 kids is somehow going to prevent divorce. I think she has left out a very important variable- the man.
Does she believe every man wants unlimited children as well? Does she believe that every man is eager to father a child- period? And are we supposed to ban male contraceptives as well, or only women’s? Like, if a man says, “No babies for me. I’m wearing a condom,” that’s perfectly okay, but if a woman says, “No babies for me. I’m on the Pill,” we should take those pills away and force her into motherhood. Honestly, it’s not like men have that many options. It primarily falls on us anyway. Men have condoms. We have everything else. And apparently that’s a bad thing.
What if a married couple doesn’t want anymore than 2 or 3 kids? Are they supposed to have a sexless marriage from that point on?
The ignorance astounds me.
Hell, we’re still combating the notion that men only want to be involved with his children if he’s fucking the mother. We are still fighting to get men to take on equal responsibility when it comes to his children when he’s actually married to the mother of his children. Now we’re going to throw birth control out the window and these men who can’t be bothered to show up at a parent teacher conferences or give a kid a bath or who don’t know what grade the child is in or what size clothing they wear are now suddenly going to have double or triple the number of children to ignore? Excellent! I’m sure that will work out great.
Birth control does not lead to divorce. Birth control gives women more control over their own lives. That’s a good thing. Unless you’re a controlling asshole. I can understand why that might upset you.
The spike in divorce rates are due to the fact that women are not as dependent upon men as they were. Oh, I realize we have a long way to go. The stories I see every day are proof of that. Primarily because we as women still buy into this idea of being wives and mothers first. People her age probably aren’t aware of the fact that even in the early 70s many women couldn’t get credit on their own. They couldn’t buy a house or get a credit card (need credit for that). Many times they couldn’t even get a job because it was seen as women taking away a job from a man that needed to support his family. Hell, my mom was not allowed to wear pants to school as a child. Maybe even as a high school student. That was not a house rule. That was the school’s policy.
Of course, with all that wonderful birth control we can now sleep around indiscriminately and even if we do get pregnant and decide to keep the baby now we get child support! Dumb bunny speaks as though women are rolling in the dough with all this child support. Excuse me again while I go off and laugh hysterically.
Again I will cite the latest statistics I could find which stated that less than 50% of men pay their full child support. I believe the stat was 46.5%. And 30% pay nothing. There are billions in unpaid child support every year. Do you know why we have child support laws? Because men wouldn’t support their children voluntarily! Consequences needed to be imposed for men to support their children. Looking at the statistics of how many pay in full and how much unpaid child support there still is I would say that even imposing consequences doesn’t seem to make a difference.
Alimony? Oh honey, most states don’t even award alimony anymore. The courts often don’t give a shit if you’ve been a stay at home mom raising your 10 children like a good, obedient wife. Hubby wants to trade you in for a girl 20 years younger he is free to do that, and chances are real good he won’t be paying a dime in alimony. You’re told to go back to work and support yourself. You better hope child support is sufficient to cover what your income after 15 years out of the workforce doesn’t.
If my life was supposed to be so easy once I got divorced and suffered no consequences then why am I living with my mom still while he lives in another four bedroom 3 bathroom house with his whore and replacement child? Why was I working 2 jobs for quite some time? Why did my lifestyle go down approximately 75% even with the alimony I was awarded, while his stayed the same, even after paying alimony and child support?
Denying a woman birth control and forcing her to have unlimited numbers of children is not suddenly going to turn the world back to the 1950s (where women had even fewer rights). I find it ironic that there is no accountability for men who walk away from wives and abandon their children but there’s a whole lotta hand wringing over the thought of a woman using birth control so that she can have sex without worrying about a pregnancy. I find it equally ironic that people think women being able to have sex without the fear of pregnancy is somehow worse than over 54% of men walking away from these children they made and not paying the child support they owe. Maybe before we worry about the children that haven’t even been born yet, because the woman prevented the pregnancy with birth control, we worry a little bit more about the children that are already here.