Your Kids Notice

Picasso paid me a compliment the other day. He told me that I was a really good mom and that even when I was going through tough times I never let it interfere with me continuing to be a good parent.

I think that’s important to hear if you’re going through some tough times and you feel like all of your work and all of the struggling you’ve gone through is for nothing. No one cares.

They do. Your kids notice. Mine did.

I asked him to elaborate because I was going to write a post about it and he gladly complied.

He thinks that a lot of times when parents are struggling they forget about their kids because they’re so caught up in what they’re going through. They check out, I’m told.

“You never did that, Mom. You always showed up. You still took care of us even when you were going through bad stuff.”

I wasn’t completely sure if he was speaking strictly about when his dad and I separated and divorced, or if he was talking about this more recent breakup.

I had to ask him. “So even though I haven’t cooked much since Matt and I broke up you still feel like I’ve been doing an okay job?”

Truth is, I don’t cook a lot. Period. We laughed about that and he assured me the fact that I was willing to go out and buy groceries so that he had stuff he could fix, or brought him home something was enough. It showed I was still showing up for him despite what was going on in my life.

He also said no one would ever know what was going on by watching me. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

He rightly pointed out that a lot of times, in any type of relationship, when you’re in the middle of a downward spiral you tend to close yourself off and keep to yourself. Aside from the day we all went axe throwing and we talked about the breakup a bit he’s seen me basically go through life as normal. I’m pretty sure he’s caught me talking to myself a couple of times though! Anyway, he gives me high marks for not letting my shitty life interfere with my stellar parenting. Keep in mind my “children” are 22 and 20.

He also said he felt it was good that I admitted when I had problems or struggled with something. He said that kids look up to their parents as a person who has all the answers and never seem to have any issues. Then when, as a kid, you start having problems you tend to feel like a fuck up because your parents never dealt with any of this stuff before. Me being honest when I’m going through a rough patch actually has helped him.

I suppose the moral of this story is keep showing up for your kids. I figured parents naturally did this but apparently my child runs in a rougher circle. They notice and they appreciate it.

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