Why can’t I have a relaxing vacation? No stress? No freak outs? We had donuts for breakfast and headed to the beach for a few hours. Had lunch at one of Mom’s favorite restaurants. I texted Zack this morning to see if he was already on the road. Nope, the mechanics supposedly couldn’t get the machine working so he’s staying an extra day. Then he’s heading onto his home state. Sound familiar? I’m going to go see my mom. Of course you are! So I suck that up and tell him I’m fine with it; she’s his mom and of course it’s all fine. Next, because we’re going to go shopping I check our account balance. First, he sent another $50 to his mom. It’s not enough that he sent $500 2 days ago. Nope, need to send another $50. Oh, and I did ask him what emergency had befallen them this month. They didn’t ask for it. He just knows they’re struggling and he doesn’t think his niece and her boyfriend are going to make it and he seems like a good kid and she’s pregnant and what can he do? He can’t watch his mom struggle. So, there goes another $50 and on top of that I see a charge for $172 at Walmart in fucking Whore Town, His Home State! What.the.fuck? I flat out asked him, “What did you spend $172 on in Whore Town, Your Home State?” He tells me it must be tires for his mom. “Are you in your home state already?” He says no. He gave her the credit card information because she said there was something wrong with the new van they got. He doesn’t know why it showed as Whore Town because it was supposed to be in another town. And he’ll get the rest replaced when he’s there on Saturday. Excellent! So you’ve sent $550 in the last 2 fucking days and then you’re going to turn around and spend God only knows how much on 4 new tires. And I’m sure he’ll buy other shit as well while he’s there. If he’s not already there. I find that to be way too convenient. For all I know Harley has left her husband and is encountering money problems and he spent the damn money on her. And I hate feeling like that. Will I ever trust him when it comes to things like this? A year ago he was adoring me. I felt like he was truly gaga over me. Now I’m not so sure and I sometimes wonder if I did it to myself with the FB page. His other sister told me he was so excited about the move and felt it would be a fresh start. Then Blockhead told him about the page and how I didn’t know if I could celebrate another anniversary, how tough our anniversary is for me, how I didn’t love the gift and all those other great things. Then he went into a tailspin and things just haven’t been the same. I am beginning to wonder if this is the beginning of the end. I don’t want it to be but I’m not sure I can stop it either.
So, I retaliated with some revenge shopping. Bought Picasso a couple of shirts and a pair of tennis shoes. I bought myself a new Coach purse even though I just got a Kate Spade a few days ago. Bought one for Rock Star, too, because every 15 year old girl needs a freaking Coach purse. And wallet. It’s a little strappy thing so she can use it as a stand alone purse, too. Plus we both got some new clothes. Hey, if we can feed every fucking member of his family then I’ll buy whatever I want for myself and my kids. If we can afford over $800 in the last few days to give his mom then the sky’s the limit! And you know, it amazes me that no one ever says, “Zack, no! You’ve got a family to feed. You’ve already given us $500. We’ll be fine. We can buy our own tires.” No, once again it’s an unlimited ATM. He could give them $500 every week and they’d still come back and want more. As my mom pointed out: Wasn’t it enough when they basically stole all his money while he was fighting over in Iraq? Wasn’t it enough when he gave her a credit card in his name which almost cost us our house in OB? Nope! It’s never enough. I’m about at the point where I’m ready to suggest he just hand over his entire check to them. Or maybe he could ask them for all their bills and we can cover them and then all the money coming into them they can use to splurge on. I guess I’ll go back to Whoreville and get a job so I can afford to do things for my kids since all of our disposable income is going back to his home state. Hey, how much a month is the whore coughing up for them? Nothing? Wow- shocker! By the time this weekend is finished we will have contributed $2000 in just under 2 months. And he wants to pay their cell phone bill. Hell, why not? We’re made of money.
Maybe it’s a non-issue and he’s planning on leaving me. Maybe he’s already in his home state fucking Harley. I really don’t know. That’s the worst part. My instincts failed me so miserably 2 years ago and now I’m hyper vigilant. Why would anyone be at the Walmart in Whore Town? Why?
Present Day Sam Says: Oh, Sam, sweetie. Why would anyone be at the Walmart in Whore Town? Because he’s in his home state fucking the whore. Your instincts weren’t failing you; you just didn’t want to believe.