Once a Cheater…

December 2015

I got the most delightful news last night.  Well, I got some not so delightful news, too, but the good news put me in a wonderful mood.

The Saint contacted me to tell me that he overheard Harley talking to one of Zack’s friends about how he had shown her naked pictures of me.  Nice!  What kind of sick fuck shows naked pictures of his wife to his affair partner?  And what kind of sick fuck wants to see them?  That was the not so delightful news.  I did march into his room and demand that he delete them.  He supposedly did but we’ll see.  If I hear of anymore I’ll be contacting my lawyer.

But the delightful part was what he told me later on.  THEY ARE STILL HAVING SEX!  Oh, the glorious karma bus is headed straight towards those two fucktards!  Later that evening he said he overheard her on the phone with CF, denying she had slept with her husband.  But he claims to have text messages.  He says they’ve only had sex a couple of times and a couple more times he wouldn’t.  One time was right after CF left.  He also said that the neighbor she was sending naked pictures to was mad at her after finding out about Zack but now they’re friends again.  Which probably means she’s sending him naked pictures again.

I find this to be hilarious!  Oh, definitely sad for Cousinfucker but who gives a fuck about him?  He threw away a 20+ year marriage, has destroyed his relationship with his kids, and is going to be paying for this for the rest of his life all for a whore who is already cheating on him and her four kids who use him for what he’ll buy them and then talk shit about him behind his back.

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he tells his mommy and his sister how she’s cheating on him.  Great job, Tammy Faye!  You encouraged a predator to call your son.  They both ended up destroying his home and even your relationship with your grandkids and how does she repay you for your “tip” to her?  She destroys your son.  Oh, and Jezebel, you with your, “You should do whatever makes you happy.  You deserve so much better than Sam.  I’m sorry she makes you so miserable.”  Hey, bitch, at least I never cheated on him.  I didn’t make him give up everything for me only to spread my legs for yet another guy.  She’s cheating on him not even 6 months into it!  He’s being Jolly Zack right now!  He’s spending money on her and giving her everything she wants.  He’s always in a good mood for her.  And she’s still cheating!  Just wait until she gets the real Zack- the one who is moody and weepy and who turns every minor problem into a major event.  The one who sits upstairs in his bedroom, watching tv all weekend while leaving her to deal with her kids.  Good Lord, she’ll have to put one of those revolving doors in her house to deal with her various lovers.

I’m not sure why he was questioning her fidelity.  While I did ask The Saint if I could tell him that they were having sex I didn’t.  I know it wouldn’t do any good.  He has way too much invested in this to believe me.  Although, a text message where they are discussing it would definitely be proof!

Nah, I hope the dumb sonofabitch moves to be closer, gets another job where he’s miserable, can’t afford anything after he pays his spousal and child support, marries the whore and THEN finds out about all of her transgressions.

I haven’t felt this good in ages!


Present Day Sam Says: I’m not sure he knows to this day that good ol’ Harley was still sleeping with her husband. I know she denied it but I’m not sure if he ever figured out she was lying. Don’t know if he ever realized she was sending “inappropriate” pictures to her neighbor either. He’s in way too deep now for him to extricate himself. He needs that cunt face cum dumpster. Oh karma, you can be a bitch…


The Third Anniversary After Filing For Divorce

In honor of my anniversary yesterday, the 10th, and my latest Blast From the Blast that talked about my first anniversary after filing for divorce I figured I would write a little something about my now third anniversary after filing for divorce.

Jeez freaking Louise! I never thought I would be able to say I’m celebrating my THIRD anniversary after filing for divorce. To be fair, there’s not much celebrating going on.

Last year I worked about 16 hours so I didn’t have a lot of time to think about what the day was. I think I was limping as I tried to do some Christmas shopping after working at both Target and Kohl’s. I was exhausted, stressed, poor, and just trying to get through the holidays.

I’m sure Cousinfucker’s day was marvelous. He and the whore probably went out and celebrated. They probably skipped happily through the malls Christmas shopping for her kids. Probably took a nice long, romantic trip to reward themselves for all their slutting around. Shared an expensive meal while reassuring each other that what they did to my children was fine and right because they were happy! Hell, they probably celebrated the holidays for weeks on end!

This year I was supposed to have a marvelous weekend. Rock Star had a cheer competition and the mobster and his daughter were going to join us. But alas, I’m not divorced yet and because of the Facebook hack and the mystery text message we decided the prudent thing to do would be to put our plans on hold and wait until the divorce is final before we see each other.

So I got to go to another event for my daughter alone. And navigate a strange town alone. And figure out where I was going once I got to the huge venue alone. I got to sit by myself, too.

I’m sure he and Harley were doing the nasty and celebrating the shit out of this day. Hooray! We’re living together and sleeping together and playing happy family together and getting engaged. But you, Sam, you must remain alone! You have to be a good girl until you are officially divorced.

You know what, though? All this shit does is make me stronger. I can do it all on my own. Cousinfucker can’t say the same. I take comfort in the fact that soon the mobster will be by my side, helping me muddle through all these adventures.

Fear not! I realize the disordered fuckwit and his equally disordered whore probably don’t even realize what the date of our anniversary is, much less celebrate it wildly.

I was simply peeved because my plans were interrupted. Hey- I bet I’ll be divorced next year! I damn well better be…

The First Anniversary After Filing For Divorce

December 2015

I didn’t have the heart to write yesterday although I looked fantastic!  Seriously- got my hair done, did my makeup, dressed up, wore some kickass boots.  I ended up taking the kids to Olive Garden up in, of all places, Whore Town.  Yes, I spent what should have been my anniversary dinner up in Whore Town, My State.  I figure the kids were the best part of the marriage so why not celebrate with them.

Rock Star did end up getting me a gift.  She bought me flowers and candy and a gift certificate to the nail salon.  I’ll have to tell her she doesn’t need to keep recognizing the date.  It’s insignificant anymore.

There were a few tears but overall I think this year’s anniversary was better than the last two.  The last two were spent trying to convince myself that the marriage wasn’t a sham.  This year I didn’t need to keep up with the charade.

I talked to his sister, not Jezebel, today.  Well, texted anyway.  She said he is in shock over the amount I’m getting.  I’m not sure why.  It isn’t that much different from what he’s already paying.  It is definitely more than he wanted to pay, though.  And hey, if he doesn’t move out by February 1st then I’ll get an extra $750.  I almost hope he stays!


Trying to Make Sure Life Goes On

November 2015

Thanksgiving decorations are up.  Halloween decorations are down.  The kids and I carved pumpkins all on our own and I think they looked great.  Picasso went as Foxy and Rock Star and her friend went as tacky tourists.

Today is the docket hearing so we should have a date soon.  I gave my lawyer my list of requests along with a letter as to why I think he should take on all debt and all of his various pay stubs to show his income.  If Cousinfucker agrees to give me what I want on my list the judge can sign it and we don’t have to wait for a date.  Yippee!  However, I don’t think that’s the way it’s going to play out.  He’s had a pretty good run of it so far.  He gives me what he thinks he’s going to have to pay me and then I turn around and have to pay all the bills with that money.  He still lives at the house, however, and pays nothing towards the mortgage, utilities, car insurance, phones, or marital debt.  Then he takes all of his money and he runs with it.  I’m sure his white trash whore is loving it because he can spend big bucks on her.  I’m equally sure he has big plans for that bonus check he gets at the end of January.  So, when he finds out he has to pay a minimum of $2k more than he was thinking he was going to have to pay, he’s going to flip his lid!  And then to have to pay marital debt on top of that!  He is not going to be happy.

I’m doing ok for now.  Occasionally things will pop into my head and I’ll get down.  There are some days it seems like everything hurts.  I was watching Grey’s Anatomy with Rock Star today and just seeing the love story between Meredith and Derek was a stab in the heart.  Seems like everyone is paired up and in love.  I’m pretty convinced that is never going to happen for me again.  I think you’re either one of those people who continuously gets involved with someone immediately or you’re one of those who never recommits.  I am positive that’s going to be me despite all my positive thinking.

Watching tv is usually painful.  Mundane crap, like watching Mike and Frankie on The Middle.  Just regular bullshit stuff, and knowing that I’m not going to have that regular bullshit stuff.  I’m not going to celebrate either of my kid’s graduations with their father. With continued luck I won’t have to share my grandchildren with him and won’t have to see him at their birthday parties.

I celebrated 20 years with the worst mistake of my life and I know in my heart I won’t spend 20 years with anyone else, much less the love of my life.  I feel like my life is over.  Not over like I’m only a few years away from death, but over in the sense that I don’t have much time to get shit together.  A job?  Oh yeah, I’d love to work a minimum wage job with no benefits and then eat dog food once I can no longer work.  I don’t feel like I have enough time to turn things around and I’ll just be a big burden to everyone in my path.  Then I read about people who have left their cheating husbands at 50 and 60 and 70.  I don’t know if they always worked or not.  I’m sure that helps.  I also think that if Cousinfucker can find someone else then surely I can!  I mean, between the two of us I am definitely the better catch.  He makes more money but he’s got issues up the ass, not to mention no hair and bad teeth.  I’m still attractive, I guess.  So why am I the one who remains alone?  Because the world is fucking unfair!  That’s why!

Writing seems to be difficult these days.  I don’t know how on earth I think I’m going to manage to write a blog.  I can barely type out what I’ve been doing lately, much less type out something meaningful and profound.  Plus, I’ve got tons of screenshots I need to put in my Chump Lady journal.  Like, over 100.  I swear, sometimes I read something that one of the other people comments on and I’m like, “Do they know my husband?”  Sometimes it’s just that it’s such a relief to know that I’m not crazy and that his behavior is bad!  Things will pop out at me and I think, “A-ha!”


Trying To Keep My Chin Up Back Then

Looking back 2+ years later I can say that not everything I thought would happen did happen.  Paragraph two, for example. He won’t be getting a new VA loan unless he has enough stock in his 401k to pay off that $76,000 to the VA. Actually, I don’t think that’s entirely true. He just may not get his full VA allotment. Nonetheless, it won’t be as easy for him as I originally thought.

I did relocate because he stopped paying any support, so all my efforts and desires to keep Rock Star at her high school were for naught.

I do live with my mom, I’m not alone, and I didn’t go to the high school reunion.

October 2015

Another day trying to keep my chin up.  Another day of wanting to cry when I think about what my life has become.

He’ll be fine.  He’s a vet and can get another VA loan to buy his little whore a brand new house so she can get out of that dump she rents.  What’s going to happen to me?  I won’t have any money to put a down payment on a house.  At this point I’m not even sure I’l be able to rent a damn place.  He gets to move out and leave behind 2 kids and our cats and dogs.  Even if he doesn’t move in with the whore and her kids he can move into an apartment- a nice little 2 bedroom apartment.  Not me.  No, I need at least 3 bedrooms and a fenced in yard unless I plan on walking dogs all day long.

He moved us across the damn country and had us sell our house which we had had for 8 years.  In exchange we bought a house that was $100,000 more than the one we sold.  Now it looks like we’ll be selling this house, the one I thought we’d be living in for the rest of our lives, after we bought brand new furniture with which to furnish this house.  Oh, yet another waste of money!  Instead of having $30,000 in stock to cash in we have a giant hole filled with water in our backyard.  Instead of an older car we bought a brand new car straight off the lot because we moved our daughter away from her gym and now I would be driving her over an hour to take her to her new gym.  We have a new $20,000 loan to pay for our pool because again, we, or at least I, thought we would be living in this house for years and years.

I’ve been left totally fucked over.  I can’t even really leave here because my daughter is so happy here and I really don’t want to move her yet again.  Poor Picasso is kind of up in the air. He might be willing to move after Rock Star graduates.  And that’s all IF I’m allowed to leave with him.

I’d like to think I have this great shot at a brand new life, with a partner who is actually a partner and someone who is good in bed.  That would be nice.  Looking forward to sex instead of thinking of it as a chore. He wasn’t awful but he never really made my toes curl either.  And he irritated my boobs.

The reality, though, is I will probably be alone for the rest of my life.  All by myself.  Eventually living with my mother.  So looking forward to the next class reunion!

My life is over.  No chance of a cruise again.  No Disney World.  No more vacations.  No trip to Hawaii.  I’m not sure there will ever be anything fun in my life again.  Not trying to be a pessimist.  More like a realist.  I can blare all the Kelly Clarkson songs I want to make myself feel better but the fact of the matter is life is pretty much over.  I’ve got 6 1/2 more years of this parenting gig and then my kids are both gone.

OK, bad mom moment.  Rock Star and her boyfriend are watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager and the main character says, “I’m a whore.”  Her boyfriend says, “Well you’re my whore.”  Without thinking I said, “That’s what your dad said!”  Oh well, let him try to make something of it.  Then the main character’s dad said to his pregnant daughter’s baby daddy, “What do you mean it just happened?  I’m a man and I have to work really hard to have sex!”  So I say, “Unless she’s your cousin.  Then it’s really easy!”  Bada-bing!


PAS, Falling In Love, & Other Excuses, Part 2

Oh where to begin? Let’s take it from the beginning.

I fell in love with a married man. I did not go out of my way to do this. We worked together. It was not an office job; it was a hands on job where our communication skills and our compassion were demonstrated daily. We had similar values, similar ways of managing situations, similar musical tastes and most importantly we found laughter in all types of situations. So without any fault or any planning we were automatically drawn to each other and fell in love.

Oy and vey. You fell in love with a married man but you want kudos because you didn’t go out of your way to do so? Are you the better type of home wrecking whore?

Who me? I’m not like that tramp Rebecca; she goes out hunting for other women’s husbands! I was just sitting there… No! I was just out toiling in the mud and grime at my hands on job when suddenly I fell madly in love with Patricia’s husband. How could we resist one another? We have similar values (i.e. none) and similar ways of managing situations (conflict avoidance, cheating, lying, being a terrible person). And hey, we both love John Mayer and jazz. It was a love story for the ages! Did I mention the most important thing? We both find laughter in all types of situations. Like destroying another human’s life, cheating on a spouse, and financially raping our partner of many years. We howl with laughter at those situations! It’s not our fault!

Yet she goes on to explain:

Friendly funny texts in our own time became a little flirty. He told me nothing would happen as he was married. I said I understood. I honestly did not think anything would happen; nor did I really want it to happen as he had children.

Yeah, see this is where you went wrong. When your texts with your married co-worker become flirty it’s time to step away from the phone. You are entering dangerous territory. You can no longer say it was out of your control. You saw the fire and you walked right up to it and put your hand in it.

What a noble thing for your married co-worker to tell you. Nothing will happen because he’s married. That’s your cue to dance a little harder for him. Yes, he’ll send you sext messages telling you everything he’d like to do to you… if only he weren’t married, but that’s all okay because the penis isn’t in contact with the vagina. You two are golden!

As time went on it was obvious we were meant to be together. Not a kiss or a handhold happened until one day he came to me and told me he had told his wife about me. He would not have an affair and came clean to his wife. He had too much respect for everyone involved to be untruthful and live a lie. The morality of his actions impressed me and made me respect and love him even more. This was a man who would always be truthful even in such difficult circumstances.

Bullshit! You two were already engaged in an emotional affair. It doesn’t matter if he didn’t fuck you until after he told his wife. The fact that your relationship progressed to this point without his wife having any clue that you existed or that you had taken such a prominent role in his life is proof that he knew what he was doing was wrong. The entire time he was sending you flirty texts and becoming emotionally involved with you he was being untruthful and living a lie.

Of course you find his behavior charming and impressive. He picked YOU! I hope you will be equally impressed when he is truthful with you and lets you know months afterwards that he’s fallen in love with yet another hands on co-worker who loves John Mayer and jazz.

I think my favorite part though was this little gem:

Never have people said to us, “You’re a terrible person and you should have stayed in that unhappy marriage,” or you should have “left that married man alone.”

Wow! The entitlement is strong with this one. I don’t know. Maybe you just hang around with people who have no sense of right or wrong. Maybe everyone in your life is as flamingly entitled as you. Or, maybe they are simply so gobsmacked when you prance around, happily bragging about your true love/soul mate affair they don’t have the words to express their astonishment. Sometimes when people don’t say things like, “You immoral whore!” or “You cowardly bastard!” or “I hope karma fucks you both up the ass with a cactus,” it’s not because they approve; it’s because they realize you’re too stupid to understand that they are disgusted with you.

She follows that up with some more excuse making drivel:

We live in an age now where we no longer have to stay in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships. It’s acceptable and it’s common. People separate. Life goes on. But as parents we are meant to protect our children’s feelings throughout any difficulties.

Oh boy! I ask again, where do I even begin with this bullshit? Yes, Virginia, we do live in an age where we no longer have to stay in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships. That does not mean, however, it’s okay to cheat on your spouse. Or to send naughty texts to your co-worker who shares your sense of humor and taste in music. There is a right way and a wrong way to end a relationship. Your “partner” chose the wrong way.

I know this is going to sound crazy but some people even choose to try to fix their relationships. Of course, when you’re trying to bang your co-worker that puts up a really big obstacle. Very few marriages are repaired when one partner has decided to check out and focus on another person.

I find it sad that you think it’s acceptable and common to leave your spouse. The fact that you can blithely throw away a long term marriage with children astounds me. You are willing to tell yourself anything to justify what you have done.

The sad thing is this woman has a child from a previous relationship. I don’t know if she was married. I don’t know if she left her child’s father for her current partner. It doesn’t really matter. I just find it very sad that she so casually tosses out, “Life goes on,” as though it’s no big deal to completely gut your children’s lives.

Then we get to the real point she wants us to understand. This one is the most important thing of all! As parents we are meant to protect our children’s feelings throughout any difficulties.

What she really means is: As the duped spouse it’s your responsibility to lie and gaslight your children so your cheating spouse, aka my Prince Charming, comes off looking like a hero. Please shut up about any injustices. Please continue to tell them what a swell guy he is. It is your solemn duty to say sweet things about me and to encourage your children to have a relationship with me. Stop crying, put a smile on your face, and tell them that everything is going to be okay and if it’s not all okay it’s all your fault. Hey, life goes on. People separate all the time. It’s common and acceptable and no one is calling me a home wrecking whore or telling us that we’re horrible people so I/we must be doing everything right.

Life is not black and white. It’s grey and if you look out for them you’ll notice snippets of rainbow colors. Of course, my partner’s ex can vilify and hate me as much as she wishes. To her I am a “skank” and that is fine with me. I “stole” her husband.

Ah yes, the ol’ “life is not black and white; it’s grey.” Maybe life isn’t black and white. Cheating on your spouse is still wrong. Using the lame ass excuse that you were oh so unhappy and that justifies cheating and lying is still wrong. Again I say, if you are so damn unhappy then either fix it or get out but for the love of all that’s holy please stop justifying your bad behavior because you had a case of the sadz. When you wait until there’s some other hole to fill before you finally extricate yourself from your sad, sad relationship you are just making excuses.

The “snippets of rainbow colors” was a nice touch. What color is whore? Does it come in various shades?

I’m sure your cheating partner’s ex is so thankful that you will allow her to vilify and hate you. Like she needs your permission. You do love being central to everything, don’t you? Likewise, I’m sure you are fine being labeled a skank. You seem to have no shame or any sense of decency so any criticism directed your way simply runs off your back.

But ultimately she needs to deal with that in her own way. Drink, cry, exercise, join a group, take up a hobby, change her hair.

You are a condescending little twat waffle. You do have a point though. I think the wife should get a new hobby. I hope it’s sharp shooting.

PAS, Falling In Love, & Other Excuses, Part 1

I recently came across a blog post about parental alienation. I’m not going to link to it because I find the author to be a mindless little twit who excuses her whoring around because “love”.

I’m going to tackle this in two separate posts because there is so much to say about this. Today I’m going to explore the PAS angle.

Before I begin let me say I do believe that parental alienation is real. I believe it’s rare but I believe it’s real. Unfortunately, I think a lot of crappy parents hide behind it as an excuse as to why they have no relationship with their kids. It’s nothing they’ve done. It’s what the ex has done. It’s not their bad behavior or shitty choices. It’s the ex alienating the kids. It’s gotten so bad some parents are actually forbidden from telling their kids the truth because the other parent can claim parental alienation. Yes, apparently telling your child the truth instead of lying to them to make mommy or daddy look good is alienating the child. Golly, life is so difficult when your betrayed spouse refuses to be your PR agent any longer.

Let me give you a bit of backstory here. The writer is the girlfriend of a man who claims his ex has alienated his children. The ex is bitter and angry (ah, key words there; anyone recognize them?) because Daddy Dearest has left her for his mindless twit of a co-worker. The kids say they don’t want anything to do with him but that’s not really them speaking; it’s their mother. She emotionally abuses them every day. The emotional abuse comes in the form of brainwashing them to believe their loving father wants nothing to do with them, not letting people who support the affair see the kids, and not hiding the financial devastation they have encountered due to Daddy’s choice to leave and go be with his soul mate.

So much of what this person writes could be written by CF. I’m sure that is his spin on everything that has happened. I have no doubt that’s the story his family tells. Oh, we never get to see our grandchildren because their mother won’t let them visit. Hell, his attorney had it written into our settlement agreement that I wouldn’t interfere in their relationship. Oh yes, dipshit! That’s why the kids have nothing to do with their father. It’s because I’m interfering. It has absolutely nothing to do with his behavior- the fact that he walked out the door without saying a word, the fact that he doesn’t support them, the fact that they were forced to move out of the family home and in with their grandmother. Nope! It’s all me.

That’s the story these people have to tell themselves. Consequences? What are consequences and why on earth would you assume that I will suffer them?

She goes on to talk about another divorce situation, one that involved her childhood friend. She writes:

The children’s mother would openly make disparaging remarks about the father to her friends in full earshot of the children. She would then scold herself and pretend she should not make these comments as they would influence the children. Rolling her eyes when his name was mentioned or reminding everyone who would listen that they were short of money and had to “go without” knowing this would reinforce the children’s beliefs it was due to their father’s departure.

Okay, I will be the first to admit that disparaging your ex in front of your kids is not a good thing and should be avoided. As Chump Lady always says, “Feel free to report the facts; however, do not editorialize.” Yes, children, your mother/father is having an affair. She/he has moved out and is living with someone else, is fine. You’re mom is an immoral slut/your father is a lying cheating bastard! is not.

I wonder, though, what she classifies as “disparaging” remarks. These cheaters and their apologists are a sensitive bunch. To them, telling the truth and not covering for their horrible behavior is “disparaging”.

Rolling her eyes? Maybe not the smartest thing to do but seriously, if your children can be turned against you simply because the other parent rolls their eyes (or makes disparaging remarks)? You’ve got bigger problems in your relationship with your children than you think.

I love the final no-no, though. She would remind people they were short of money and had to go without knowing this would reinforce the children’s beliefs it was due to their father’s departure.

It was, you whining whore! Just like I’m sure your dearly beloved’s departure created financial upheaval for his own children. When my husband decided he was no longer going to “let me steal every dime he makes” or “continue to drain the account” he had a severe impact on our financial situation. When he quit his job and no longer sent us money he had a severe impact on our financial situation. There was no tricking the kids into believing their daddy’s departure caused us financial instability. It was the truth. He chose to hand over the majority of his paycheck to his whore for four months, spending wildly and whining and dining her and her kids. His own children received nothing from him. For five months he had to pay me more than he got to take home. Five months. And now? Well let’s see. He took a powder for 10 full months and didn’t pay a dime. Drained a $10,000 401k and didn’t bother to send a single cent to his children. Then he paid back support. Meanwhile, throughout all of that I was working two jobs, a lot of 13 hour days, and more often than not 6 days a week. All while being the sole parent to his children. Finally he got a job. It paid less than half of what he made before but then again his support obligation was reduced by almost half. Still, he hasn’t paid even half of the court ordered support yet he moves his girlfriend and her kids into a new home in a nice subdivision with a community pool and clubhouse. Even the judge believes his primary focus is on his girlfriend and her kids. His kids do suffer because he places the whore and her kids before his own. It’s not theory; it’s a fact backed by the ruling judge himself.

This particular author would like to look past that. I guess I’m supposed to lie to my kids and tell them that I’m just too lazy to work two and three jobs so that they can have everything they want. I’m supposed to explain to them that Daddy is madly in love with someone else and so now his financial obligations are to his new family and if they go without it’s my own shortcoming.

How exactly is that supposed to work in the real world? Your child comes up to you.

Parent (I’m trying to be gender neutral here), here is the yearbook order form. You: I can’t afford to buy a yearbook this year. Child: But I always get a yearbook! Why can’t I get one this year?

According to Baroness von Nitwit I’m thinking the appropriate response is to simply reiterate the fact that you can’t afford to buy it, completely sidestepping the fact that the reason you can’t buy it is because the child’s other parent refuses to pay court ordered support, thereby crushing your standard of living. It’s far better to gaslight and spackle than it is to tell the truth. The truth might hurt the cheating parent.

I would have had to expend way too much energy to keep covering for CF. As I’ve said before we went from living on over $200,000 a year to living on less than $20,000. It would have been next to impossible to try to protect their father from that fallout. They knew the changes they were experiencing were due to him. I didn’t move because I wanted to be closer to my mommy. No, I was willing to stay in a town where I had very little support, probably not many job prospects, and my expenses were outrageous and ate up a huge chunk of the support I was given so that my daughter could graduate from the high school she loved, a school where she reigned as a superstar. I also busted my ass working two jobs just to be able to give them a Christmas and put food on the table after we did move. I’m not going to throw myself on my sword and take the blame for their lives going down the toilet. Their diminished standard of living is due to him and his choices, especially his choice to put the whore and her kids ahead of his own children. As far as I’m concerned I did my due diligence by not outing every shitty thing he did in order to impress four kids that didn’t belong to him.

I also love how she interjects this jewel:

She should not let her ex’s decision negatively affect their children’s psychological wellbeing. His decision was not to leave his children; it was to leave the marriage as it was not working.

What exactly does that mean, you vacuous whore? Is that your fancy way of saying she shouldn’t let her husband’s affair with you negatively affect her children? She should cover for him? She should lie for him? She should dance harder and faster to make him look like a good guy for her kids?

Here is the brutal truth. When you choose divorce you are choosing to see your children less. You can dress it up in all the flowery terms you want but that is the end result. When you are married to and/or living with the other parent of your child you have 100% access to that child. There are no splitting the holidays or weekends. There is no missing a birthday because it’s not “your time”. You can tuck your kid into bed every single night. You can help with homework every single night. You can eat dinner with that child every single night. When you leave that marriage that is no longer working, primarily because you’re fucking someone else, you are not going to get 100% of the time with your kid. You are going to lose time. You are, in fact, choosing your side piece over your child. Again, couch it in whatever flowery terms you choose. That is ultimately what happens.

You do not get to leave your spouse and then demand they play PR agent for you. It is no longer their job. I can’t speak for what those kids went through and feel right now. I can, however, speak on behalf of my own.

Any psychological damage that my children suffered is due to their father’s behavior, not the fact that I won’t cover for him. That’s the lie cheaters and their enablers want you to believe. They were hurt by the fact their father couldn’t be bothered to talk to them, couldn’t be bothered to apologize profusely, couldn’t be bothered to say good-bye to them when he moved out of the house and out of the state, couldn’t be bothered to drive to see them even one time, couldn’t be bothered to contact them on a regular basis.

If you talked to him, though, I’m sure he would say it’s all my fault. I’ve poisoned them against him. Hell, I know he’s said that. I’m sure he would have this author’s ear as well and she would nod her head astutely and agree that everything was definitely my fault and the only thing CF was guilty of was fleeing an unhappy marriage to find his true happiness.

Once again I will remind everyone that I do believe parental alienation is real. I just think it’s rare and used mainly by entitled assholes to explain away their own odious behavior and their children’s reaction to it.