Oh where to begin? Let’s take it from the beginning.
I fell in love with a married man. I did not go out of my way to do this. We worked together. It was not an office job; it was a hands on job where our communication skills and our compassion were demonstrated daily. We had similar values, similar ways of managing situations, similar musical tastes and most importantly we found laughter in all types of situations. So without any fault or any planning we were automatically drawn to each other and fell in love.
Oy and vey. You fell in love with a married man but you want kudos because you didn’t go out of your way to do so? Are you the better type of home wrecking whore?
Who me? I’m not like that tramp Rebecca; she goes out hunting for other women’s husbands! I was just sitting there… No! I was just out toiling in the mud and grime at my hands on job when suddenly I fell madly in love with Patricia’s husband. How could we resist one another? We have similar values (i.e. none) and similar ways of managing situations (conflict avoidance, cheating, lying, being a terrible person). And hey, we both love John Mayer and jazz. It was a love story for the ages! Did I mention the most important thing? We both find laughter in all types of situations. Like destroying another human’s life, cheating on a spouse, and financially raping our partner of many years. We howl with laughter at those situations! It’s not our fault!
Yet she goes on to explain:
Friendly funny texts in our own time became a little flirty. He told me nothing would happen as he was married. I said I understood. I honestly did not think anything would happen; nor did I really want it to happen as he had children.
Yeah, see this is where you went wrong. When your texts with your married co-worker become flirty it’s time to step away from the phone. You are entering dangerous territory. You can no longer say it was out of your control. You saw the fire and you walked right up to it and put your hand in it.
What a noble thing for your married co-worker to tell you. Nothing will happen because he’s married. That’s your cue to dance a little harder for him. Yes, he’ll send you sext messages telling you everything he’d like to do to you… if only he weren’t married, but that’s all okay because the penis isn’t in contact with the vagina. You two are golden!
As time went on it was obvious we were meant to be together. Not a kiss or a handhold happened until one day he came to me and told me he had told his wife about me. He would not have an affair and came clean to his wife. He had too much respect for everyone involved to be untruthful and live a lie. The morality of his actions impressed me and made me respect and love him even more. This was a man who would always be truthful even in such difficult circumstances.
Bullshit! You two were already engaged in an emotional affair. It doesn’t matter if he didn’t fuck you until after he told his wife. The fact that your relationship progressed to this point without his wife having any clue that you existed or that you had taken such a prominent role in his life is proof that he knew what he was doing was wrong. The entire time he was sending you flirty texts and becoming emotionally involved with you he was being untruthful and living a lie.
Of course you find his behavior charming and impressive. He picked YOU! I hope you will be equally impressed when he is truthful with you and lets you know months afterwards that he’s fallen in love with yet another hands on co-worker who loves John Mayer and jazz.
I think my favorite part though was this little gem:
Never have people said to us, “You’re a terrible person and you should have stayed in that unhappy marriage,” or you should have “left that married man alone.”
Wow! The entitlement is strong with this one. I don’t know. Maybe you just hang around with people who have no sense of right or wrong. Maybe everyone in your life is as flamingly entitled as you. Or, maybe they are simply so gobsmacked when you prance around, happily bragging about your true love/soul mate affair they don’t have the words to express their astonishment. Sometimes when people don’t say things like, “You immoral whore!” or “You cowardly bastard!” or “I hope karma fucks you both up the ass with a cactus,” it’s not because they approve; it’s because they realize you’re too stupid to understand that they are disgusted with you.
She follows that up with some more excuse making drivel:
We live in an age now where we no longer have to stay in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships. It’s acceptable and it’s common. People separate. Life goes on. But as parents we are meant to protect our children’s feelings throughout any difficulties.
Oh boy! I ask again, where do I even begin with this bullshit? Yes, Virginia, we do live in an age where we no longer have to stay in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships. That does not mean, however, it’s okay to cheat on your spouse. Or to send naughty texts to your co-worker who shares your sense of humor and taste in music. There is a right way and a wrong way to end a relationship. Your “partner” chose the wrong way.
I know this is going to sound crazy but some people even choose to try to fix their relationships. Of course, when you’re trying to bang your co-worker that puts up a really big obstacle. Very few marriages are repaired when one partner has decided to check out and focus on another person.
I find it sad that you think it’s acceptable and common to leave your spouse. The fact that you can blithely throw away a long term marriage with children astounds me. You are willing to tell yourself anything to justify what you have done.
The sad thing is this woman has a child from a previous relationship. I don’t know if she was married. I don’t know if she left her child’s father for her current partner. It doesn’t really matter. I just find it very sad that she so casually tosses out, “Life goes on,” as though it’s no big deal to completely gut your children’s lives.
Then we get to the real point she wants us to understand. This one is the most important thing of all! As parents we are meant to protect our children’s feelings throughout any difficulties.
What she really means is: As the duped spouse it’s your responsibility to lie and gaslight your children so your cheating spouse, aka my Prince Charming, comes off looking like a hero. Please shut up about any injustices. Please continue to tell them what a swell guy he is. It is your solemn duty to say sweet things about me and to encourage your children to have a relationship with me. Stop crying, put a smile on your face, and tell them that everything is going to be okay and if it’s not all okay it’s all your fault. Hey, life goes on. People separate all the time. It’s common and acceptable and no one is calling me a home wrecking whore or telling us that we’re horrible people so I/we must be doing everything right.
Life is not black and white. It’s grey and if you look out for them you’ll notice snippets of rainbow colors. Of course, my partner’s ex can vilify and hate me as much as she wishes. To her I am a “skank” and that is fine with me. I “stole” her husband.
Ah yes, the ol’ “life is not black and white; it’s grey.” Maybe life isn’t black and white. Cheating on your spouse is still wrong. Using the lame ass excuse that you were oh so unhappy and that justifies cheating and lying is still wrong. Again I say, if you are so damn unhappy then either fix it or get out but for the love of all that’s holy please stop justifying your bad behavior because you had a case of the sadz. When you wait until there’s some other hole to fill before you finally extricate yourself from your sad, sad relationship you are just making excuses.
The “snippets of rainbow colors” was a nice touch. What color is whore? Does it come in various shades?
I’m sure your cheating partner’s ex is so thankful that you will allow her to vilify and hate you. Like she needs your permission. You do love being central to everything, don’t you? Likewise, I’m sure you are fine being labeled a skank. You seem to have no shame or any sense of decency so any criticism directed your way simply runs off your back.
But ultimately she needs to deal with that in her own way. Drink, cry, exercise, join a group, take up a hobby, change her hair.
You are a condescending little twat waffle. You do have a point though. I think the wife should get a new hobby. I hope it’s sharp shooting.
Are We Still Having Spaghetti For Dinner? 