Olivia Munn Wants Congratulations On Her Adultery Baby

I heard a new term after all of the fallout from Adam Levine and Ned Fulmer. The term is “wife guy.” These are men who are all about their wives and how much they love them. They build a career off of this schtick. Meanwhile, when no one is looking they’re out there cheating on these same wives they profess to love so much with no name Instagram models and/or co-workers. I’m sure it’s not limited to those two types.

Apparently, John Mulaney completed the trifecta of these wife guys which is actually kinda funny when you consider he was the first one to fuck over his wife. His stand up comedy talked about his wife, how great she was, how capable she was, and how much he loved her.

I found him to be very funny. I loved so many of his routines. I also noticed how he never talked down about his wife and seemed to really love and worship her.

Then he had a relapse. Stories have been pretty fuzzy on what exactly he was doing but I’m going to read between the lines and theorize he was doing drugs once again.

It was a very crazy time at TMZ and all the other so-called entertainment outlets. He was in rehab and then he was separating from his wife and then he was dating actress Olivia Munn and then he served his wife with divorce papers and then Olivia was pregnant.

According to a People article John entered rehab in December 2020. At that time Olivia sent him a message of support. May 10, 2021 he files for divorce from his wife, Anna Marie Tendler (I found another source that said the divorce wasn’t filed until July). Anna Marie made the following statement: I am heartbroken that John has decided to end our marriage. I wish him support and success as he continues his recovery. May 13, 2021 (that’s 3 days later for anyone not keeping count) sources confirmed he and Olivia were dating. September 2021 the new couple confirms she is pregnant.

They are both trying to spin the story that he did not cheat on his wife but the timeline just doesn’t add up. There was a lot of crossover and most people believe he cheated on his wife and got the other woman pregnant.

John claimed on an appearance with Seth Meyers that he went to rehab in September, got out in October, moved out of his home with Anna Marie, and then began dating Olivia in the spring. That’s only partially true. He did go to rehab in September 2020 and checked out in October in order to host Saturday Night Live. He returned in December 2021 and moved to outpatient care in February of 2021.

Personally, I can’t stand to listen to him anymore. Just can’t do it.

But I’m not writing about the comics I follow. This is actually about something Olivia Munn said shortly after she had her son.She was being interviewed for some reason and the writer of the article noted that “the couple were met with swift backlash over the news, leaving Munn to spend the majority of her pregnancy out of the spotlight.” Olivia was quoted as saying, “It’s hard to be pregnant for the first time and have anybody say anything besides, like, ‘Congratulations,’”

Are you fucking kidding me? She’s having a sad moment because more people aren’t like, “Congratulations on having a baby with a man who cheated on his wife with you! That’s awesome. So, do you have names picked out?”

She’s upset because people couldn’t look beyond the cheating to give her proper deference and adulation at the fact she got knocked up by someone who just got out of rehab?

That’s a lot to unpack. It’s already difficult to be happy when you know the pregnancy is a result of John’s infidelity. And Olivia had to have known he was married. I know he’s married and I’ve never met the man! But then you add on the fact that he just got out of rehab. I’m not really sure that’s the best choice you can make when choosing someone to father a child.

I’m not saying he’s a lost cause forever. I’m just saying I would prefer to see someone maintain their sobriety for a while before rushing into making a baby with them.

I’m going to have to file this one under “Audacity” because I cannot fathom how a person has an affair with a married man, he leaves his wife for her, and then she’s shocked that people aren’t falling all over themselves to congratulate her.

Even if everything they try to spin is actual fact it is still an incredibly public and painful breakup for his wife. He didn’t file for divorce until May 10th (or July) and sources confirmed he was dating Olivia on May 13th. Here’s the fun part. Their son was born in November so you do the math. Olivia was already pregnant when John filed for divorce. In fact, for a November baby she likely got pregnant sometime in February. John’s divorce wasn’t final until January 6, 2022. So, regardless Anna Marie’s husband had a baby with another woman while they were still married.

I know I frequently say marriage is just a piece of paper and that if the relationship is over then the marriage is over, regardless of the legalese. But I don’t believe any of this was on the up and up and lying to your wife about your intentions, or doing shit behind her back is not what I’m talking about.

I’m so sorry, Olivia, that people didn’t fall all over themselves to congratulate you on your pregnancy. They should never have given any consideration to his wife and how much hurt she must have been going through, having to publicly watch you announce your pregnancy with her husband. All the focus should have been on you and the happiness you and John were experiencing at her expense. It must have been so difficult for you to not be able to gloat and show off your pregnancy bump from Day 1 because that would make you seem like an uncaring, unsympathetic bitch. But now you have your moment to tell everyone how you are the real victim.

You know, you’re really not that far off base. I don’t think I’d call you a victim as much as a volunteer, but a leopard doesn’t change his spots. One day it’ll be your turn to watch as he wanders off with another woman only too willing to engage with a married man. Maybe when she announces her pregnancy before he’s actually filed for divorce you’ll do the right thing and congratulate her.

One Minute Bit Of Wisdom

I don’t think this will even take a minute.

Never let someone sneer at you and claim, “Oh, you think you’re so perfect.”

Jerry Lee did that to me once. He had agreed to go to marital counseling. The counselor asked what was going on, and I spilled the beans. I don’t remember about what. Maybe it was when I found out he was planning on marrying the dumb bitch and had conspired with his nephew to get tattoos together.

They like to throw that one out in various ways, all alluding to our supposed perfection (which is obviously sarcasm) and their inability to measure up to our high standards.

It’s a diversion tactic. Play the poor victim, claim the actual victim thinks they are perfect, and then sit back and watch as the victim begins assuring the cheater that they (the victim) are not perfect. They can go then go on to list all of their faults so as to not make the cheater feel bad about themselves. See? We’re equal. Only you’re not. As I’ve always said, picking up the Charmin Extra Strong instead of the Charmin Extra Soft is not the safe as fucking another person. Not feeling like cooking so you grab take out is not the same as your partner gas lighting you as they take the affair accomplice on a weekend getaway. It’s just not.

The proper response to all of that nonsense is this. The bar is not perfection. The bar is faithfulness.

I Am Doing Well

Rock Star had a birthday recently. My mom, the mobster, and I all went down to Muncie to help her celebrate. We went to a really cute winery right there in the city, not far at all from her house. Afterwards we went to a hibachi grill for dinner.

On the car ride over to the winery she told us all that her father had messaged her on Facebook.

Happy Birthday! I am doing well. So proud of you. Wow- 22!

She said it took her a few moments to wrap her mind around what had transpired. He made her birthday all about him. Hey, happy birthday, kid! By the way, I am doing great. Can I tell you all about it?

Apparently, this is the year he decided to cut off birthday gifts. Nothing sent to her. Just well wishes and a notification that he was doing well. Because isn’t that always your first thought on your birthday? I wonder how everyone else in my life is doing. Me? Oh, I’m just celebrating a birthday. Comes along every year! Let’s talk about you!

I am ashamed that I procreated with this man. Even more ashamed that I actually thought he was going to be a great dad.

Update: This took place June 3rd. I just saw Rock Star. Her dad still has not sent her a birthday gift. She thinks he’s punishing her for not immediately telling him that of course he would get an invitation to her graduation, and she’s pissed.

Look At This!

That was what my daughter texted to me, along with a screenshot from her father, about a month ago.

She was indignant because he had the audacity to text her and tell her he had seen on Facebook that she was going into her last semester of college, he wondered if that meant she was graduating in December, and he told her he hoped he would get an invite. Also, her boyfriend seems like a really nice young man and he’d love to meet him one day.

She was pissed that he was fishing for an invite to her graduation and more importantly, that he thought he got to be a part of her accomplishments when he was the one that put up stumbling block after stumbling block for her.

I’m not proud of this but I’ve always been honest with those of you who care enough to read my blog. Wait. That didn’t sound right. The thing I’m not proud of is my feelings when I read the text, not the fact that I’ve always been honest with those who read my blog. Let’s try this again.

I’m not proud of this but my heart leaped into my throat when I saw the text message, especially because I could see earlier texts between them. Then I realized she was wishing him a happy Veteran’s Day. This was May. That happened back in November. And then I realized those messages were from 2020. Now maybe they communicate in other ways but Jesus Christ on crutches!

You have no contact with your daughter for a year and a half and you want an invitation to her goddamn graduation? Fuck you! Who do you think you are?

Obviously, I am going to go along with whatever she wants to do. Right now she says she isn’t inviting him but she also said she’ll decide when it gets closer. I think she will end up inviting him and I’ve already told her I will support whatever decision she makes. But I can vent with you in my safe space.

For the most part I don’t think about him and I try not to dwell on what happened and everything he cost us. I’m not perfect. I slip up every now and then. I think it was realizing he hasn’t communicated with her except for the possible Venmo transfer since November of 2020 and then just casually slipping in, “Oh, I’d love to be invited to your graduation. I want to celebrate with you.”

Fuck you, motherfucker! Where in the hell was he when she needed rent money? Where was he when she needed money for groceries? Money for gas? Money for anything? To this day I still send regular Chewy shipments to her house for her cats. I buy them treats, kitty litter, and food. I paid what was left after financial aid towards her tuition her first year. Paid for her books. Her sorority fees. Then he lost his job mid-way through her second semester. My mom came to the rescue and paid the final $1000 until he started paying me again. Dickhead actually had the audacity to ask me why her tuition was not paid already because it obviously was all due at the beginning of the semester AND insinuated that I had filled out the FAFSA incorrectly because she shouldn’t owe a dime for tuition with my salary. Rock Star took out additional loans for her sophomore year because I didn’t know if I was going to be able to help her out. I ended up paying her rent once her first semester and from April on her second semester. I also paid all of her sorority fees. Junior year I paid her rent, utilities, and food bill, along with the sorority fees. Senior year I once again paid her tuition. And her sorority fees. And gave her money when needed. And paid all the bills for her cats. Where was he for any of that?

I remember him asking her one time to let him know if she needed anything. I think it was freshman year. She replied that she still needed to buy books. He went on to tell her some story, probably about himself, and finished up with (again), “If you need anything, let me know.”

“I literally told him exactly what I needed and he ignored it,” Rock Star told me.

I don’t believe he’s ever sent her money randomly. Maybe he has but I doubt it. And if he has I know it wasn’t a frequent occurrence.

He’s washed his hands of both of his kids but when it comes time to celebrate he thinks he should be there.

And it’s not just the money. Where was he when she called, convinced she was never going to make it into nursing school? Where was he was she was overwhelmed and wanting to drop out and come home? He was part of the reason she was overwhelmed. She felt the weight of the world on her shoulders because she knew how I struggled. She felt like she had to get straight As. She felt guilty telling me she didn’t have enough money for rent. She felt guilty anytime she had to ask for something. All of that was caused by him.

Everything she has experienced since she was 15 years old has been because of him. She lost her amazing high school experience because of him. She lost gymnastics because of him. She had to move out of her home with her roomy bedroom and her own bathroom because of him. She had to switch schools because of him. She had to worry about how to pay for college because of him. She ended up at Ball State instead of some school in Utah or Virginia because of him. Hell, she’s on anti-anxiety meds and anti depressants because of him. Just this past December she admitted she always feels like she’s not good enough. Why wasn’t she worth it? Why did her dad abandon her? How could he walk right by her and not say goodbye or tell her that he loved her? She feels like she always has to prove herself to him.

He took this young, bubbly, beautiful, confident young woman and turned her into an anxiety ridden mess. He did a number on her and her future, but by all means, let’s have him show up and take a bow. He took everything he could away from her, made things so much more difficult than they had to be. But by all means, preen about like a peacock. So proud! Daddy of the Year, right there. You were so instrumental in her upbringing.

No, you asshole, you were instrumental in attempting to orchestrate her downfall. But you didn’t succeed. I stepped in wherever you lacked. My mom stepped in wherever I lacked. I’m the one that told her she was exceptional. I’m the one that told her I was proud of her. I’m the one that was always there, always supporting her, always nurturing her, always encouraging her, always assuring her that she could do it. I’m the one that told her she was worth it and to never let her worth be measured by her father. I’m the one that told her she was going to be an amazing nurse. I’m the one that has paid for therapy, and I’m the one that has kept her going.

Here’s the funny thing. I don’t take credit for her accomplishments. I’m proud of her. I’ve supported her, both financially and emotionally. But I didn’t do it. I’m not why she succeeded. She succeeded because she’s incredibly driven. Disciplined. She knew what she wanted and she went after it. I didn’t take those classes. I didn’t do the labs or the clinicals or the homework. She did all of that. She has had an intense schedule for years. The achievement is all her.

It still chaps my ass that Jerry Lee thinks he should be able to show up and celebrate. Sit the fuck down! I’m the one that raised this kid. You were too busy off fucking your cousin and trying to impress kids that already had an involved father.

Entitlement, Thy Name Is Cheater, Cont’d.

Speaking of entitled cheaters the mobster’s STBX called him while he was on vacation. T-Mobile lets you block a person but it doesn’t really block them unless you pay an extra fee. What it does is prevent them from directly reaching you. The texts go into the archive history and the phone calls go to voicemail.

The mobster wrote a post about it before I could write my own post (copycat!) and I’ll link to it if you want the transcript in its entirety. The gist of the conversation was this: She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t take or return her calls. He was her best friend and always would be. The fact that he won’t talk to her kills her and she doesn’t understand whyyyyyyy.

We’re right back to: I do not think that word means what you think it means. I don’t know about you people reading this but I don’t gaslight my best friend. I do not tell them bold face lies and expect them to believe those lies. I don’t accuse my best friend of abusing me… or my children. I don’t lead people on to believe that I need to be “rescued” from my best friend because of their abusive behavior. I don’t ditch my best friend by trying to slink out of the house without saying a word to them about the end of our friendship and then bring my new best friend to a kid’s ball game and proceed to act as though my former best friend never gave a shit about any of my fake injuries and illnesses- all caused by my former best friend, of course.  

Thankfully we are far enough along in our relationship that this kind of nonsense doesn’t bother me. As I told him, “I’m not upset by the fact she called; however, I have to point out the absurdity of her claims.”

It’s another sad sausage feeling sorry herself. Oh believe me, she was choked up. Practically in tears. Why, oh why, won’t you answer my calls? You’re my best friend and you always will be. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Doesn’t it make you forget all the horrible things I did? Surely the knowledge that I’m willing to allow you to stand in the radiance that is me must be thrilling to you. Why won’t you take my call? How can I bless you with my presence if you keep ignoring me?  

As the mobster said, “What a chameleon she is.” Whenever her affair accomplice isn’t around she gets to feeling lonely and reaches out to him. It hasn’t happened in a long while but I know the routine by now. She just wants to hear his voice. Wants to let him know he was the very best husband. Now apparently it breaks her heart he won’t talk to her. He’s her best friend and always will be. But when the accomplice is back in the picture she becomes angry and combative. I don’t know if she’s putting on a show for him or what but it’s a completely different kettle of fish when she’s with him. The mobster surmised it must be an exhausting way to live.

I don’t think she’s exhausted. I think she’s entitled. This is the woman who seemed to think it was fine to send pictures of herself in a bikini to another man behind her husband’s back. She seemed to think that, “All I did was show him my pussy!” was a valid defense when questioned about a possible affair with yet another man. She fed her sad little tale of woe to someone else and he fell for it hook, line, and sinker. He was going to be her brave Prince Charming, rescuing her from her angry, abusive husband. Then whenever she was left alone (new guy apparently is gone for work quite often) she would call the mobster and expect him to fall for her lies and offer to rush right over. For so long the mobster overlooked everything; his entire focus was on getting her sober and making their marriage work. She felt entitled to his love and devotion and can’t believe he finally walked away.

In the beginning I would almost feel bad. I remember telling him that I didn’t want to be the reason they didn’t reconcile. If he still felt like he had a marriage to save then I would step away. He also assured me though that he was done that night she brought the affair accomplice to their kid’s game and proceeded to put on a show. That was when he finally had had enough. He filed for divorce the next day. He has also pointed out that she is all talk. She’ll say these things hoping to keep him on the hook but she never does anything. She misses him so much but then says she can’t leave her affair accomplice. She misses him but makes no moves to come back or to try to make amends. As he so aptly puts it, “She probably doesn’t even remember the conversation the next day.”

I believe it goes back to what I said in the very beginning: He was supposed to be her Plan B. He was not supposed to move on; he was not supposed to meet someone else and fall in love. She could replace him but he was supposed to pine after her forever.

When I say they’re entitled this is exactly what I’m talking about. Only a cheater could sneak around behind your back, lie to your face, leave you for another person, malign your character, and then turn around and pitifully cry, “You’re my best friend and you always will be! Why won’t you take my calls?”

Michael Myers Is Pissed Off

I think this has to be my all time favorite blurb about the new Halloween movie coming out in October.

Long time readers will know of my odd obsession with Michael Myers. I truly think I was traumatized by watching that movie back in middle school. There is a reason those movies were rated R. I have no intentions of actually watching this movie. I didn’t watch the remake back in 2019 but my Google feed is always showing me stories about it and the upcoming sequels. So I saw this little gem and it made me laugh.

Michael Myers is pissed because Laurie, her daughter, and granddaughter locked him in the basement and left him to die after he tried to kill them! He’s spent the better part of at least two films (if we’re going to go with the idea that this new movie has erased all of the others) slaughtering people and he’s got a bug up his ass because the tables were turned! It’s fine for him to randomly slaughter people but God forbid anybody try to kill him. He’s no better than your average cheater. 

They cheat. They lie. Yet somehow they’re always the victim. How dare you impose consequences? They discard you in the most brutal way and then, despite being able to start a brand new life with all the pieces already in place while you flounder, they continue to try to destroy you. 

Poor Michael. Turns out he doesn’t like consequences either. Too bad. Laurie and company, I hope you take him out.

Stop Blaming the Other Parent For Your Crappy Relationship With Your Kids

’Tis the season (’Twas the season?) for endless questions regarding the children, holidays, gifts from the ex and/or OW/OM (okay, mostly the OW), and having to hear about how nice or fun the OW/OM (okay, mostly the OW) is. Inevitably the question is always along the lines of: Is there anything I can do about this? Or, they’re just venting about what a shit sandwich it is to gulp down.

The next inevitable thing that happens? Someone comes along and tells them not to shame their children. You need to love your kids more than you hate your ex. Don’t put your kids in the middle. You have no right to take away whatever it is that the whore gave to your precious child. Dance prettier, bitch! Dance harder! Dance faster!

And then another someone comes along and doubles down on this idea. They are the person that insists that any small frown or raised eyebrow is proof of parental alienation. Saying no to a child is detrimental to their relationship with the other parent. Apparently if you are divorced or separated anyone can buy your child anything and they have free reign to bring it into your home. I’m not sure if you’re allowed to set parameters on the use of the item or not. Probably not, if I had to guess.

We, the parents left behind, are counseled to “learn how to grieve without PA abuse.” It’s all on us to avoid the so called pitfalls of parental alienation. The cheaters, of course, get a pass. They don’t need to worry about any of their behaviors. Abandoning your kids, ripping apart your family, putting a whore before your children… those are all cool. Nothing wrong with any of that.

But you! Chump! Yeah you! You need to understand that your “grieving” and your “boundaries” and your refusal to swallow down yet another dozen shit sandwiches in the name of “co-parenting” is all much scarier to your children than anything the lying, cheating, narcissistic asshole might be doing. Someone actually said that the cheated on parent can end up far more overtly scary, intimidating, abusive and/or destabilizing to their kids than the covertly abusive cheater because they are “so traumatized” that they become unstable. What utter bullshit!

People, get your heads out of your asses! 

I feel like I have to revisit this conversation every few months. Yes, parental alienation is real. It’s rare, but it’s real. I’ll go one step further and state I believe that most of the time the alienation attempts come from the parent who has already lied and cheated. It’s part and parcel of their plan to entirely decimate the discarded spouse.

I know I’m sensitive to all this bullshit because this is the exact story that Jerry Lee spins. “Oh Sam is a monster! She’s emotionally abusive and extremely manipulative. She’s poisoned my precious children against me. I am an alienated parent. I love my children to the moon and back; if not for that nasty she-beast I would have a wonderful relationship with my children because I am an amazing father who loves his kids with his heart and soul.”

Those are all lies. Oh, I believe he believes his own bullshit. But that’s exactly what it is- bullshit. He sent them both $100 and wished them a Merry Christmas through Venmo this year. Told them he loved them. He couldn’t even be bothered to call them and actually speak to them. As Picasso said, “He did his fatherly duty; he performed his obligation. Now he’s off the hook.”

In the almost five years since he walked out the door without telling his kids he was moving out- oh yeah, and leaving the fucking state!- he has made the drive to see one of his kids one time. That was Rock Star’s graduation. He texted her and offered her the opportunity to talk to him beforehand which she ignored; he never contacted his son. He spent maybe fifteen minutes, if that, with her on that day. He came out of the shadows crying his big crocodile tears because as always, it’s all about him. If you gave me a calendar I could tell you exactly how many round trips he managed to make in order to fuck his gold digging whore of a cousin. I can promise you this- it was more than one!

From what my kids tell me the rare times that he does actually text them it’s all about him, or trying to get them to feel sorry for him. He doesn’t text to check in with them or to see how their day is going. If he texts at all it’s to try to guilt them (or rather, Rock Star; I’m not sure he’s ever texted Picasso). Not once has he apologized for what he has done and the havoc he has wrecked.

He does not call. He does not send cards, especially now that both kids have Venmo. They don’t exist except for their birthday and Christmas, when he does his fatherly duty, as Picasso calls it, and takes 30 seconds out of his day to send them something via Venmo.

The day after Thanksgiving I was dealing with a major meltdown by my daughter who was upset because her dad did not even bother to text her and wish her a happy Thanksgiving, even after she reached out and wished him a happy Thanksgiving first. “He tells me he loves me and I try to give him a chance instead of hating him, and he doesn’t even bother to wish me a happy Thanksgiving.”

That is not my fault. I did not choose any of that; I did not force any of that. He is the one that walked away without ever looking back. He is the one that decided it was worth it to sacrifice his children for Harley. He chose her over them and I will not take the blame for that. That is all on him.

I have spent the last five plus years trying to keep my kids’ lives as normal as possible. I was willing to stay in a town where I knew very few people and had no family support so that my daughter could finish high school there. 

I have been the parent tasked with breaking all of the bad news to my children while Jerry Lee and Harley skipped happily off into the sunset with nary a worry.

Oh, you’re cheating on me and we’re getting a divorce? No worries; I’ll break the news to the kids.

Oh, you’ve moved out of the house? And you’ve left the state? Don’t worry. I’ll break it to the kids.

You lost your job and now we’re going to have to move again? Hey- no problem! I’ll break it to the kids. I’m getting good at this.

Our daughter isn’t going to get her license after all? Sure, I’ll be the one to deliver the news. And I’ll hold her while she cries from the disappointment.

Oh, you’ve stopped paying support again? Yeah, I’ll let our daughter know she might have to drop out of college.

Every single bit of shit news that was ever delivered I got the sucky job of delivering. I was the one that held my kids when they were upset or disappointed or sad. He was nowhere around, much too busy with the whore and the new family.

I was the one that got them settled into their new home with their Nana. I was the one registering them for school in a new district. I was the one who had to listen to my daughter say in a defeated voice, “I used to be someone. Now I’m nobody.”

I’m the one that scheduled therapy for them and got them on medication. I’m the one that Rock Star turns to when she’s falling apart because she’s stressed.

I am the one that has made countless sacrifices so that these kids could have a comfortable life. I am the one who has always been present, always been stable, could always be counted on. Me.

Maybe, instead of chiding the parent who is actually there and doing the hard work of raising the children left behind, they could be supportive of that parent. Just an idea.

Parental alienation is a hell of a lot more complicated than simply refusing to let the whore who fucked your husband give your child a gift. She’s not even a parent so how the hell is that parental alienation?

They remain a sensitive bunch. Everything is parental alienation. You won’t let your ex take his holiday AND your holiday? Parental alienation! You don’t want a creepy “family” picture of the OW, your ex, and your kids sitting around the Christmas tree sitting in your living room? Parental alienation! You dare to have boundaries? Parental alienation! You don’t want to be besties with the ex and the affair partner? Parental alienation!

In the beginning, when I was first discarded for the ‘ho, I was way too busy being the sane parent and trying to keep things as normal as possible for Rock Star and Picasso to be busy trying to alienate him. Considering we had less than a year between D-Day and moving day thanks to his firing I didn’t have a whole lot of time to work my evil magic. He left six months after his affair was discovered. Like, moved 300 miles away from his kids without saying a word, left. That was the first time I worried endlessly about what was going to happen to us because he was no longer directly depositing his money into the joint account.

Then I was really busy applying for welfare, enrolling my kids in school in a new school district, and applying for free lunches and text books because I had no job and was living off of savings. Didn’t have time to fuck with his parenting or lack thereof. 

Shortly after that I began working a job that required me to get up at 3:30 in the morning. That’s real fucking early. I don’t function that well that early in the morning. I do even worse when I have to get up at 1:30 in the morning so I can be there by 2. A month later I began working a second job. For a good 10 months or so I worked two jobs- lots of hours, not so much pay. And very little in the way of time off. Again, not really much time to play a quick round of parental alienation. Too busy working and trying to keep afloat. Especially considering he wasn’t contributing anything.

Last year I was kinda busy having a big ass needle stuck in my arm and then having my blood sucked out, the plasma separated from the red blood cells, and then the blood put back into my arm, and then turning around and doing it again later that week, twice a week, every week basically for four months.  All in order to make sure my kids got a decent Christmas because Jerry Lee couldn’t be counted on to pay his support on any kind of schedule. Didn’t have time to tell the kids how much their dad sucked. The plasma donation was pretty much a part-time job.

This year I spent a lot of time running. Changing my eating habits. Trying not to drink so much diet Coke. Jerry Lee and his pathetic attempts at parenting weren’t on my radar. My kids at the beginning of 2020 were 19 and 17. They’re now 20 and 18. I’m not necessary for any information exchanges. He is able to have a relationship with each one of them completely independent of me. I am not a cog in this wheel. If it’s not spinning that is not on me.

I’ve stayed out of their relationship. I’ve never been a factor the entire time. There are so many things I haven’t told them. I didn’t tell them because I knew all it would do is hurt them. Things like him buying a $300 dress for Harley’s daughter to go to a dance when he couldn’t send $80 my way to pay for his own daughter’s Homecoming dress. Or like how he was able to buy a $4000+ engagement ring for Harley that same month he couldn’t send money for Rock Star’s Homecoming dress. Or how he was able to celebrate Harley’s kids’ birthdays when he couldn’t do the same with his own kids. Or how he could never attend Rock Star’s gymnastics meets or cheer competitions but he could buy a fucking Cardinal t-shirt in support of the whore’s daughter and attend her cheer competitions. The iPhones he bought them. The puppies he bought them. Or how he’s so broke and has nothing in savings but can spend over $1800 on a vacation rental.

Harley is the dipshit that continues to post her drivel on social media where everyone can see it. My daughter isn’t stupid. She said recently she knows damn well he spent a hell of a lot more on “their” kids than he did on her and her brother. She knows he offered to buy Harley’s daughter a car. I don’t know how, but she knows. She knows all kinds of things that I had no idea about.

None of this is my doing. It’s all on him.

To these people who are champions of parental alienation everything falls under that category. Your ex planted listening devices in your home so you won’t accept gifts from him in your house any more? Parental alienation! Your ex and his ho have been known to make derisive comments about your child you have with your new partner, and even wish harm on this child, so you are not willing to graciously accept a gift for this child that is supposedly from your shared children? Parental alienation! Those kids are going to be devastated and don’t you know every time you let it be known that you disapprove of their other parent it says to them that you hate half of them? Again, what an utter crock of shit. 

I am a child of divorce. I knew from a very young age that my mother was not a fan of my father’s. For good reason, I might add. Never once did I say to myself, “Hmmmm… I’m half my mom and half my dad, so if my mom can’t stand my dad it therefore goes to reason that she cannot stand half of me.” Nope, not once did I think that way. That just seems weird to me. I am my own person. I am not one half my mother plus one half my father. I’m one entirely whole me.

I’ve also never looked at either of my kids and thought to myself, “Well, they are half Jerry Lee’s, so I guess I need to hate half of them.” Nope, not once. They are both unique individuals and while we both contributed our chromosomes they are not half me and half Jerry Lee. They are Picasso and Rock Star. Period.

Maybe we need to start by explaining to these children who think they are half of each parent that even though their parents each contribute chromosomes to their genetic makeup that doesn’t mean they are that parent, or even half of that parent.

If you don’t want to share holidays and special events with the ex you’re putting your kids in the middle and forcing them to choose. If you don’t want to hear about all the fun things the OW did with your kids you are putting your children in the middle and making things uncomfortable for them. If you’re not super excited about all the wonderful things your ex did for the kids, like taking them on fancy vacations and buying them expensive toys, clothes, and purses while at the same time not paying child support so you can buy them things like groceries and heat, you are not thinking about your children and letting your pettiness and bitterness rule your life. Apparently, once you become a parent, especially a divorced parent, you are no longer allowed to have boundaries or feelings, and if you do have feelings then they don’t matter.

Fuck that. If you’re the parent that stuck around and is doing the hard work then you get to have whatever feelings you want. You can draw whatever boundaries you’d like. You can create the rules that are comfortable for you.

I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a parent that was cheated on and left behind, put their kid in the middle. Do they vent away in a safe place sometimes? Absolutely. But I don’t recall a single time they’ve ever said they were going to do something that was clearly alienation. They regularly bend over backwards for these people and are often encouraged to keep doing so. Keep giving and giving without expecting anything in return. That’s what a good parent does.

Instead of telling the parent that has stuck around and is doing the hard work how much they suck and how they’re doing it all wrong, why not give them a little bit of praise and support? They didn’t choose a sidepiece over their kids; that was the other parent. Hey, maybe that’s why their relationship with their kid is so shitty. Maybe it has nothing to do with parental alienation at all and everything to do with the choices they’ve made.

What Is It With This Post?

Jesus Christ on crutches! What is it with this post? I have had three people now have a bone to pick with me over this.

If you haven’t read this post I’ll give you a real quick Cliff Notes version. If you choose to stay with your spouse but you’re still pining after your affair partner get the fuck out! Go to that person and stop wasting your spouse’s life.

How does this get so many contentious responses? I am begging the cheater to go be with the other person. You would think they would be happy about this. But no! They react as though I’ve suggested branding them with a scarlet A or placing them in the stockades and letting people throw rotten eggs at them. 

One person suggested I sounded like a very bitter person who surrounded herself with a lot of cats. First of all, I don’t have any cats. My daughter does. I love my grand cats very much. They are delightful. Do not diss Poppy or Maverick. Second of all, I’m more of a dog person. Between the mobster and myself we’ve got four. Third of all, what kind of an insult is that anyway? Yeah, you must like cats! Oh burn!

The next two want to get all philosophical with me. Kate let me know she found this very “therapeutic” and that she, too, used to feel that way about “the other woman.” I’m guessing that stopped when she began an affair of her own. Funny how you’re okay with it when you’re the one doing it. She wanted me to know that I didn’t really know the other woman was a whore and that even though I “knew” I had squeezed every last bit of information about the affair from my cheater he was probably still unlikely to be honest about whether or not he missed the affair or affair partner. She then goes on to tell me she realizes I believe he’s one in a million and different from most men.

Did she read my blog before commenting? I do not think Jerry Lee is one in a million or that he’s different. I think he’s an entitled ass. I told her as much, too.

Finally, she chastises me for calling the other woman a whore, letting me know it sounds silly and people will get nothing out of my posts. I told her if she had no problem with some woman riding my husband’s dick then she could get off my ass for calling that woman a whore.

Oh, I forgot this gem: Trust me, one day you’ll be a lot less critical of people and happiness will follow.

Yes, I’m sure embracing whores will make me giddy. I suppose not having a moral compass can be freeing for some.

Then, just a day or so ago I get another comment taking me to task. This one, calling herself sorrynotsorry, let me know how wrong I was about the other women and this idea that the affair is not real life.

“It is real life!” she insists. I have no idea how many women are out there, doing their cheating lover’s laundry, making his meals, taking whatever leftover scraps of his time he’s willing to offer. Of course, in her situation it was the wife who was the secret; everyone knew them as a couple. So there! I’m wrong, wrong, wrong!

It happens. It’s rare, but it happens. Sure, some people get played. If it came as such a shock that her beloved was married after spending all of these nights, holidays and weekends with her, then I’d say he’s one hell of a liar. Probably a sociopath as well. Great catch there! She’s so busy patting herself on the back because this man uses his wife’s home as a boarding house and treats her with disrespect, that she doesn’t realize he’s no prize.

Once again, my favorite parts are where she’s calling me pathetic. I’m pathetic because I’m trying to fool myself into thinking the affair is meaningless. And pointing the finger at the other woman is also pathetic and desperate. Can’t forget desperate. Oh yes, I will probably never measure up to the so called whore and that’s why he’s stayed with her for so many years. He only stays with me because of the children and finances. Also, I’m bitter and hurt because the man I love has chosen to love someone else.

OK, first, does anyone actually read my blog before they comment or do they see the word “whore” and lose their shit? He’s not staying with me for the kids and financial reasons. I’m not with him; I left his cheating ass. He has abandoned his children for his gold digging, jailbird cousin. Yes, she is a whore. No, I don’t worry about measuring up to her; there is no comparison. No, I don’t want him back. I’m not bitter or hurt; my new guy is so much more amazing than Jerry Lee could ever hope to be.

Can you imagine the vitriol I would get if I was actually slamming them? I’m encouraging them to leave their spouses in order to be with the affair partner and they lose their freaking minds! Don’t call me a whore! How dare you say our affair isn’t real life? Who cares if it’s real or not? I’m doing you a freaking favor. I’m on your side, if you will.

I mean, sure, I don’t think it’s going to be all sunshine and roses for the happy couple. One of them is a person who cheats on their spouse, and the other is a person who has no problem with fucking someone else’s spouse. They’re both liars and people with no moral compass. Nonetheless, give it a go. Grab the bull by the horns. You only live once. Stop wasting a good person’s life while you fuck around on the side.

Sorry, haters, the advice remains the same. Shit or get off the pot. If you miss your affair partner so much then leave your spouse and go be with that person. Stop being a cake eating pussy. If this advice hurts your feelings? Well then, bless your heart.

Father’s Day 2020

Another Father’s Day is here. Neither of my kids have any plans to wish their dad a happy Father’s Day. To my knowledge neither of them bought him a card (not that they have his address, of course) or a gift. My daughter did say she messaged the mobster to wish him a happy Father’s Day. Picasso mentioned how he should buy him a goofy mug because he knew he would love it and use it. Basically, we’re doing nothing around here today in honor of Father’s Day.

My first Father’s Day without him my daughter recognized me on this day. Maybe the second year as well. I don’t remember. One year I bought myself a fire pit for Father’s Day and one of my co-workers texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day.

I know I’m not Dad. I’m simply a mom who is doing the work of both parents because Daddy Dearest is busy with his new life, pretending to be a wonderful father to a kid that isn’t his.

I am part of a Facebook group called Chump Lady Nation. If you’ve been cheated on feel free to look it up and ask to join. It’s open to anyone who has experienced infidelity.

Someone asked what fathers who abandon their own offspring must be feeling today, or what do they say to justify it? Interesting question.

Mainly, I think they feel just fine. You don’t abandon your kids if they’re important to you. He walked away. He’s got Harley blowing sunshine up his ass, telling everyone who will listen what a great father he is. I guess she doesn’t count those two kids he abandoned and never sees. They don’t fit the narrative. Just concentrate on everything he does for her child. See? Great dad!

The other thought I had is that this is the perfect time to play the victim. It’s his chance to post a public message on Facebook and talk about how much he loves and misses Picasso and Rock Star. He’ll get another chance to tell the world that even though they probably won’t see his message to him he loves them to the moon and back. He loves them more than they will ever know. It tears him apart to be away from them. Poor, poor, sad, wittle Jerry Lee, longing to be acknowledged by his children who have been brainwashed by me, the evil, satanic, demonic ex-wife.

People will rally around him and tell him to never give up! They’ll assure him that one day the kids will know the truth! They’ll tell him that as they grow older they will be able to make their own decisions and come to their own conclusions. No longer will they be manipulated by their horrible mother who uses them as pawns.

Of course he doesn’t mention how he lived in the same house as his two kids for six months after his affair was discovered and outed and yet he never bothered in all of that time to go downstairs and talk to his daughter. The last time he talked to her she was crying and demanding to know where he was. He never texted her, never called her back. He had one conversation with his son, who was 13 at the time. He told him he wouldn’t deny he had a girlfriend but we hadn’t been happy since we had kids, which I suppose makes him fucking his cousin an okay thing to do. Not sure how appropriate it is though to tell your 13 year old that he and his sister are the reason for the demise of their parents’ marriage. But after that conversation with Picasso where he played the sad sausage, complete with telling him that I took all of his money and I had a lawyer and he didn’t, he walked past his son’s room every day for six long months and never popped his head in to say hello again. At the age of 13 my son was astute enough to realize that he was the child and his father was the adult so his dad should be checking up on him; not the other way around.

He doesn’t mention that in the time he remained in the same house he never took them out for a meal, or a walk, or an ice cream cone, or on a shopping trip. He told them they would never do without and then he turned around and made sure that the whore’s kids had everything their little hearts desired while turning his back to his own kids.

I know he doesn’t tell his well wishers about walking out the front door as though he was going to work and then driving off to his new home in a new state with a new job. He won’t admit to any of them that he couldn’t even bring himself to tell his kids that he was moving out of the house, never mind the fact that he was moving out of Virginia. He won’t tell them how he didn’t even take any of his possessions. He was just living in the spare bedroom one day and gone the next. It took me almost a week to figure out he was finally gone. Of course, he didn’t bother to tell me he had left his job either. That was going to be a wonderful surprise when my checking account was repeatedly overdrawn with all the bills I paid the day after his regular payday.

If I had to place a bet I would lay odds on the fact that he has not told all those sympathizing with him that he has not yet told his kids that he has remarried. It’s been two years now. He still hasn’t found a good time to mention it. Okay, to be fair it’s not quite two years. Give it another week and then I can truthfully say that.

They probably also aren’t aware that the only reason he has had almost no contact with his son in the four plus years since he walked away is because he doesn’t have his phone number. Yes, the man who is so intelligent that he could qualify for membership in Mensa has no idea how to get his son’s phone number. What a pickle!

I’m sure he also neglects to mention that while he could drive 12 hours roundtrip every weekend for six months to see his whore of a cousin, he has not made that drive one time to see his children and spend a weekend with them. Major props to him for being able to tear himself away from her pussy long enough to see his daughter graduate; however, once again he made it all about himself and didn’t so much as say hello to his son. See above: Doesn’t have his phone number so no way to contact him. 

I’m also positive he never mentions the fact that he neglected to send a dime in child support for ten months, refused to pay the correct amount of his modified child and spousal support for another ten months, or that he has dodged at least two attempts to garnish his wages, whether on purpose or not.

The reality is he has shut his kids out of his life. He hasn’t bothered to tell them where he currently lives. That’s not surprising considering he didn’t bother to tell them he moved out of Virginia after moving them 2000 miles away and destroying everything they had ever known. Nor did he tell them when he moved from Kentucky to Mississippi. I think the only reason he put his correct address on their Christmas cards is because he knew he wouldn’t be there much longer.

He does not contact them regularly. He has not talked to them on the phone in almost five years. He sends them a card or a Venmo transfer twice a year- if they’re lucky. He might have a little more contact with Rock Star (because he has her phone number) but she hates interacting with him because he always tries to guilt her.

Abandoning fathers don’t have much of a conscience. At least not in my opinion. The one in my kids’ lives is being fed a lie by his complicit whoring cousin/wife. You’re so sparkly and shiny; you’re just the best daddy out there! Then he takes that lie and he plays sad sausage for the rest of the world, never ever taking any responsibility for the state of his relationship and certainly not telling the truth about how it ever got to that point.

I’d wish him a happy Father’s Day. Sure I’d throw in, “Fuckwit,” after it, but I’d do it; however, he doesn’t deserve it. No, worse than that, he’s no kind of father. My kids deserve better.

Here’s Your Bitch Cookie

If you’ve gone through a messy divorce with a fuckwit and maybe an accommodating cheating accomplice you have probably heard this before. I don’t ever badmouth you. It’s probably a lie but they tell it to you anyway, hoping you’re too stupid or gullible to know it’s not true. Or maybe you’ve heard it from friends or family members. “I don’t understand all of your hostility towards Bob. He never says anything bad about you!”  As Chump Lady would say, “Here’s your bitch cookie!”

This brings me right back to Jenny Ball’s problem she has when people tell her she needs to move on, get over it; her ex has and she should, too. Well, as I pointed out back then they didn’t go through the same experience. The same can be said about this situation.

I will never forget reading years ago on the old board I used to frequent. It was a debate board for moms and stepmoms, debating the issues that go hand in hand with such a thing. There was a young woman who had been cheated on. Apparently, since she made it through being cheated on she decided to gift another woman with the experience. Her cheating boyfriend divorced his ex and married her. For some unknown reason his ex insisted on 50/50 custody and it turned out the kids liked her. She was pregnant and studying for the bar exam. I don’t remember what exactly was said but I do remember Little Cheating Lawyer To-Be asking how long this woman was going to hate her and hold the affair against her, and saying she didn’t understand why the ex felt the need to badmouth her because she never said anything bad about her.

Huh, that’s a real head scratcher. How long will she hold you fucking her husband behind her back against you? My guess is eternity but I could be wrong. Oh precious, sit over here so we can all comfort you. Yes, you are such a wonderful human being for not speaking ill of the woman whose husband you fucked behind her back. You are an incredible example of humankind by not speaking badly about this woman whose life you entered and ripped apart. She should be thanking you for the part you played in her divorce. You are a peach. Too bad there aren’t more like you out there! Why on earth would this woman, who has lost everything, including her kids who think you’re so wonderful, want to say anything bad about you? I, personally, love to compliment the people who firebomb my life. Said no sane person ever!

You don’t get points for not speaking ill of the person you help destroy. Cheaters and their affair partners who think they are somehow taking the high road can fuck right off. You don’t say bad things about the person you betrayed and left behind because there is nothing bad to say. You are in the wrong. Period. If they want to rage against you and share all of your evil doings with the entire neighborhood that’s their prerogative. You cheated. You lied. You betrayed them. You don’t get to act like you’re an angel because you’re supposedly not saying anything bad about them. You did not have the same experience. One person cheated; the other person got cheated on. Which one of those people do you think might have a bigger complaint against the other?

Same goes for friends and family. “Karen, do you know why you don’t ever hear him talk badly about me? Because he’s in the wrong. There is nothing that I have done or could do that is nearly as bad as what he did to me in blowing up my life for that hillbilly whore. We are not on equal ground.”

Although in my case we all know that Jerry Lee takes every opportunity he can to talk smack about me, even to our kids that he abandoned.

Hey kids! I know I walked away without saying a word. I know I haven’t bothered to come see you one single time see I walked out that door. But let me tell you how horrible your mother is. You know? The one that has raised you since I took a powder. The one that donated plasma for months on end to be sure to be able to afford Christmas for you. The one that has been there for every milestone and every tear. Yeah, her. Let me trash talk her to you.

Huh. That’s rich. Funny that the cheater has so many complaints about me and my behavior. It’s really funny because I don’t badmouth him to the kids. Mock him? Sure, but only if the kids start it. Badmouth him to my friends and family? You betcha. The reality though isn’t that I’m badmouthing him. I’m simply telling the truth. The truth makes him look really bad. Well, his behavior makes him look really bad.

When you think about it, what could Jerry Lee really say about me? God knows he’s said plenty but 99% of it has been an outright lie. What could he truthfully say about me? I’m a terrible housekeeper? I run out and buy fast food too often for dinner? Oh the horrors! He already tried that routine in court. He lost. Yet my perceived faults pale in comparison to what the two of them did.

What could Harley the Whore say about me?  Is she going to whine because I call her a whore on my blog? Is she going to complain that I point out her lengthy arrest record and compare her multiple mugshots? Don’t fuck married men and I won’t call you a whore. Stop getting arrested and I won’t have more mugshots to compare. She knows nothing about me except what my lying ex has told her. I didn’t invade her life. She invaded mine. Quite frankly I think she absolutely knew what she was doing the entire time. She wanted someone who could support her expensive habits and Jerry Lee fit the bill.

For those keeping score: I was not always a fantastic housekeeper. I would sometimes let the laundry go for weeks before doing any (remember, we had a lot of clothes- no one was wearing dirty clothes). I didn’t make a home cooked meal every night. On the other hand, he was cheating on me. He had begun to drink heavily. He locked himself up in the bedroom and cried all the time. He cut me off financially while he spent like a drunken sailor on Harley and her kids. He abandoned his own kids. He lied repeatedly. He tried to get me to send naked pictures to him while he was with her. He showed naked pictures of me to her and God only knows who else. He has called me disgusting names, mocked me, disrespected me, and been condescending in his dealings with me. He has repeatedly ignored court orders and he left us penniless for 10 whole months while draining his smaller 401k. He told me he lost his job and was working to find another one and then never bothered to let me know he had another one. As for Harley?  She was sleeping with my husband. She freely took thousands of dollars that should have gone to his kids. She posted all over social media about her relationship with him and when she got called out for it she blocked my daughter, probably so she couldn’t “go and whine to her daddy” again. She cheated on her own husband. She cheated on Jerry Lee with her estranged husband. She gleefully got rid of her middle son. In her quest for happiness; she now has one out of her four children living with her.

Call me crazy but I don’t see how me not being the greatest housekeeper and not keeping on top of laundry amounts to being worse than what they’ve done. I can hear it now.

“Jerry Lee left Sam for his cousin. He lost his job and he refused to help support his kids. With the exception of Rock Star’s graduation he hasn’t gone up to see either kid in over 4 years. Sam and the kids lost their home and had to move 600 miles back to Indiana.”

“That may be but did you ever see the pile of laundry in the bedroom?”

“What does that have to do with anything? He cheated on his wife and abandoned his kids.”

“You can’t blame him. I would have left, too, if my house was in such disarray. And don’t even get me started on how often she would run out and pick up food instead of making it with her own two hands!”

Don’t believe the whole “I never say anything bad about you,” narrative anyway. It’s generally fake AF. They may not say it to your face. In some instances they may not even say it to the kids. But they are definitely spreading their own narrative. That’s why there is this insistence to tell everyone that you “grew apart” and to make the split look amicable. You follow the party line; meanwhile, they are trashing your character to anyone who will listen. They simply do it on the down low.

In the end it doesn’t matter. Liars are going to lie. The next time someone tells you that your cheater never says anything bad about you tell them, “Here’s a bitch cookie. Feel free to give it to them.”