Christmas Always Finds Me

This is a new one. It’s new for me and it’s new for everyone. It was released in October of this year.

There is something so simple and yet so sweet about this song. I tend to really enjoy the upbeat, fast tempo songs like Kelly Clarkson’s “Underneath the Tree” or Mariah Carey’s, “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” but I love this one by Ingrid Andress.

Maybe it’s the message. No matter the age, no matter the circumstances, Christmas always finds her. She may no longer view Christmas with childlike wonder, asking for rollerskates and pixie sticks, and she may no longer be eyeing all the presents stacked underneath the Christmas tree, but the spirit of Christmas remains. 

I think this song touches me so much because it captures what I’m so desperately searching for- that feeling of Christmas.

Another year older

A little harder to believe

But somehow 

Christmas always finds me

You Make It Feel Like Christmas

I *love* this Christmas song, although I’m not quite sure it’s really a Christmas song. Gwen and Blake sing, “You make it feel like Christmas.” They don’t say it actually is Christmas. Nonetheless, it gets a lot of play time during the holiday season and it’s a special song for me and the mobster.

A couple of Christmases ago we spent a weekend at an AirBnB. We always refer to it as The Orient. It was one of our weekends where we decided we weren’t going to run around trying to do as much as possible. I think we actually went out Christmas shopping and exchanged our gifts with each other and put together stockings for our kids.

Later in the evening we listened to hours of Bill Burr’s standup specials, and we did a Christmas puzzle. We also listened to Christmas songs and this was one of those songs the mobster fell in love with. We played it over and over again.

It’s a catchy little tune. It doesn’t hurt that I can completely relate to the lyrics.

Thought I was done for, thought that love had died

But you came along, I swear you saved my life

I wanna thank you, baby

‘Cause you make it feel like Christmas

Yep, that was me. I wasn’t looking for love. I didn’t think I would ever be happy again. My life was pretty much an empty, gray, depressing void. Then the mobster came along, fell out of a tree, landed on my head, and helped me begin a new life. He really does make every day feel like Christmas.

Sweet gingerbread made with molasses

My heart skipped and I reacted

Can’t believe that this is happening

Like a present sent from God

Sleigh bells singing hallelujah

Stars are shining on us, too

I wanna thank you, baby

You make it feel like Christmas

Christmas Carols

It’s almost Christmas. I don’t feel like taking on cheaters or their minions. I would like to retain some Christmas cheer and concentrate on this most wonderful time of the year.

I’ve been listening to Christmas music a lot at work. It usually puts me in a pretty good mood. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you over the next couple of days.

The first one I’m going to suggest is one of the most recent songs I’ve downloaded. It’s “The Little Drummer Boy” by Carrie Underwood and her son Isaiah Fisher.

Ordinarily this song makes me cry a lot of times. There’s something so sweet about this little drummer boy who is meeting the baby Jesus and wants to give Him a gift. Alas, he is a poor boy, too, and he has nothing to give the baby aside from the gift of music. I don’t know why but this always touches my heart.

Carrie’s version with her son is adorable. She already has a voice like an angel. She begins the song and sings the chorus. Her son sings the parts where the little drummer boy would be talking. He has a sweet little singing voice and he can’t say his R’s correctly which makes it even more adorable.

It puts the biggest smile on my face. I don’t know how she got through that song because as a mother I would have been bawling if I did a duet like that with my cute little kid.

I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.

To Hell and Back

The mobster and I have a whole playlist of “our songs”. This song by Maren Morris made the list recently.

So much of what she sings on this song fits us perfectly.

You didn’t save me. You didn’t think I needed saving.

You didn’t change me. You didn’t think I needed changing.

He’s never treated me like I was broken or less than. When I wondered, “Why would you want someone like me?” his response would be, “Why wouldn’t I? You’re amazing.”

“But I’m poor. I work two jobs just to make ends meet. I live with my mom. I’m going on year two of a horrible divorce from a horrible person. I don’t have a bedroom to call my own. I’m fat, no longer some slinky, sexy little size 6 and I have two teenage kids- hardly the kind of attributes that make you highly desirable.”

He didn’t care. He saw all my flaws and thought they were pretty awesome. He didn’t think they were flaws. He didn’t think I needed saving. He’s always believed I was capable of great things. There were so many things I did in my old life that I never received credit for and he would tell me how amazing I was for doing what I did. He’s always propped me up and told me how great I am.

He didn’t try to change me either. He didn’t try to fix everything. He didn’t give me a list of things I could do to improve myself. He doesn’t go over all of my faults and I never feel like I’m a constant disappointment to him.

Instead, we are two people who both suffered through pretty miserable marriages for years. We weren’t appreciated. We weren’t valued. We sloughed along and did our best, despite the little encouragement we received from our spouses. We found each other. We appreciate each other and lift the other up. Our wings are frayed and what’s left of our halos are black but lucky for us our kind of heaven has been to hell and back.

Better Off

Excellent advice! Seriously, they get off on our pain, I think. What better validation for their entitlement than to have someone begging them to stay, crying, pleading? Fuck that shit! They want to leave? Help them pack their damn bags! Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya! Don’t beg for something that should already be yours. If you have to beg them to stay, to love you, to do the right thing, then it’s already too late. And honestly, as much as you may not believe it when you’re in the very early stages of all this bullshit, you really will be better off without that person. You know why? Because a person who loves you wouldn’t do that to you.


All Of Me

I’ve written before about the song “All Of Me”. That was the song I deemed “our” song back in 2014. The summer of 2013 was the summer of Pink’s “Just Give Me A Reason”. It was a silent plea to restore our marriage and to give us another chance as a couple. We’re not broken; we’re just bent. Yeah, about that…

The following summer came John Legend’s ode to his bride, “All Of Me”. That was our new song. We were better. We were fixed. We were stronger than ever. Loving. Affectionate. Running errands together. He loved all of me, all my curves and all my edges, all my perfect imperfections. I loved that song. It was haunting and beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to be someone’s muse? The love he feels for his wife pours out of that song. I thought that was us.

The summer after that had no theme song. Just a cold, cruel discovery that I had been completely duped. Duped into moving across the country. Duped into ripping my kids’ lives apart. Duped into believing him.

Those days are two years in the past but I can still remember them like they were yesterday. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I could barely function. I had enough brain power to play Candy Crush, write, and watch TV.

The day came that I was laying on the couch, watching Baby Daddy, when Brad proposed to Bonnie by singing “All Of Me” in a flash mob. I couldn’t do it. I had to fast forward through it because it was just too painful to listen to that song. It was like a knife in the gut, torturing me. Here was this song I loved and I couldn’t bear to hear it anymore.

Until only recently I couldn’t listen to that song. I would cringe when it came on at work and there was no way to change the station. If I was in the car I would change the station. I skipped by it on my iPod. Then I decided I wasn’t going to let that jackass take one more thing from me. And then the mobster sent a YouTube link to me. He likes to send me song lyrics that remind him of me and of us. It was that song.

What would I do without your smart mouth?

Drawing me in and you kicking me out

Got my head spinning,

no kidding, I can’t pin you down

What’s going on in that beautiful mind

I’m on your magical mystery ride

And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me,

but I’ll be alright

My head’s under water

but I’m breathing fine

You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

‘Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

‘Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you

How many times do I have to tell you

Even when you’re crying

you’re beautiful too?

The world is beating you down,

I’m around through every mood

You’re my downfall,

you’re my muse

My worst distraction

My rhythm and blues

I can’t stop singing, it’s

ringing, in my head for you

My head’s under water

but I’m breathing fine

You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

‘Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

‘Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you

Oh, Give me all of you

Cards on the table, we’re

both showing hearts

Risking it all,

though it’s hard

‘Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

‘Cause I give you all, all of me

And you give me all, all of you

I give you all, all of me

And you give me all,

all of you, oh

So now that’s one of our songs. It no longer reminds me of CF and our relationship. It reminds me of my mobster.

When we were at the beach he turned on his playlist and that song began playing. We danced in the hotel room and smiled as we gazed into each other’s eyes. I know; I know. We’re sickeningly sweet. People have been known to barf around us. Nonetheless, I got a bit teary eyed listening to that song with him. I told him in a choked up voice, “Thank you for giving me that song back. I really loved it.”

When I vowed to not let that asshole who stole 20+ years of my life from me take one more thing from me I thought I’d be able to listen to some of my favorite songs again. That was it; that was the main goal. The mobster, on the other hand, had different plans for me. He actually gave me that song back. He made it mean something again. No longer does that song make me think of CF and our shitty marriage that I thought was all shiny and new and repaired after infidelity. It makes me think about my mobster. It makes me think about our relationship- one that is new and shiny, one where the future is bright because it hasn’t been marred by cheating and lies. It’s not a song trying to convince me we’ll be okay after a horrible betrayal. It’s a song from a man who is telling me he loves all of me; he’ll give his all to me. I inspire him. And that is what that song should have meant all along.

P.S. In case anyone was left wondering, I feel the exact same way about the mobster.

My Anti-Song List (Or Songs I Can’t Listen To)

A while back I wrote about the songs on my Freedom song list.  There were many and I have added a few more.  There are a few songs, though, that I can’t listen to.  Perhaps “can’t” listen to them is a bit dramatic.  I no longer like to hear them is probably more apt.

First up on that list is “Just Give Me a Reason” by Pink.  I loved this song back in 2013.  After CF’s confession about “texting” with other women and him later telling me he didn’t know if he loved me anymore I truly believed this song represented us. I listened to it all summer while he was sexting and texting Harley and I was doing a pick me dance I didn’t even know I was doing. Just listen to Pink!  Hear her wise words! We’re not completely broken.  We’re bent.  We can recover.  We are the Six Million Dollar Man- we will rebuild, we will be faster, stronger, better than before!  This song spoke to me and gave me hope.  Now I hear it and it just makes me sad.  We weren’t bent; we were broken, never to be healed.

Even worse for me is John Legend’s “All of Me”.  Shortly after I found out about his second affair with Harley, when all I could do was watch TV in a stupor, I was catching up on “Baby Daddy”.  Towards the end of the episode Bonnie’s boyfriend, Brad, proposes to her by singing this song.  It was a lovely little group song and dance number and I had to fast forward through it.  “Just Give Me a Reason” was the song of the summer of 2013.  It was the song that was supposed to give us hope.  “All of Me” was the song of redemption, a song of love.  That was how he supposedly felt about me now.  What would he do without me?  He loved all of me, my curves and my edges, every perfect imperfection, every inch of me, everything about me.  Until he didn’t.

I also have no desire to listen to “Amazed” by Lone Star or “I Swear” by John Michael Montgomery.  The former is the song we danced to, holding our year old daughter, at Jezebel’s second wedding.  That’s all I think of now when I hear the song.  I used to love it.  The latter is the song Jezebel sang at our wedding.

The jury is still out on Elvis.  We danced our first dance to “Love Me Tender” and CF was a huge Elvis fan.  I didn’t care much about him one way or the other.  I guess because you don’t hear a lot of Elvis music on regular music stations I don’t have as an averse reaction to him and that song.  It could also be because when we picked that song it was solely because CF was an Elvis fan.  The song itself didn’t mean anything to either of us.

I can listen to “Fooled Around and Fell In Love” by Elvin Bishop but it always reminds me of our wedding.  We have a lot of Polish style weddings where we got married and one of the things they traditionally do is the Dollar Dance.  That was the last song that played. We danced with the last of the people who had paid to dance with us and then, in a moment of silliness, Cousinfucker and Blockhead embraced and began slow dancing with one another and I danced with my maid of honor.  Then he took me into his arms and we danced the last bit of that song with each other.  I probably wouldn’t have even remembered it that vividly but my uncle recorded most of my reception for me and that moment was captured.  I remember other songs from my wedding but none of them seem to affect me that way.

Just on principle I can’t stand to listen to anything by LeeAnn Rimes or Jason Aldean.  I only have one or two songs by Cheater Aldean but I used to love LeeAnn Rimes.  CF and I even went to see her at the county fair almost 20 years ago.  I’m sure there are other cheaters out there putting out music but those two always spring to mind, especially because of all the paparazzi coverage they received.

Finally, on a slightly funny note, every time I listen to Hozier’s “Take Me to Church” I envision CF and his drama queen antics.  He had laid his head on my lap, or he was draped over the couch, or anywhere that someone might see him, singing along and bawling his eyes out.  Oh, the tortured song that flowed from his lips.  I’m sure he thought the lyrics:

Take me to church

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

were prophetic.  I, on the other hand, do not think they mean what he thought they meant!  This was when he was heavily into this idea that he was suffering from PTSD and “American Sniper” had brought up so many horrible memories for him.  It takes a special kind of evil to use war and dead people to gain sympathy for your “tortured” soul.  I’m sure he thought Hozier was pouring out his heart about all of his sins and begging for absolution and good ol’ Cousinfucker was right there with him.  I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.  Ah, yes; that’s the line that had him hooked, I would guess.  Such a drama queen.  He had to do it in front of an audience.  Couldn’t stay upstairs and cry by himself.  Oh no, people needed to see this!  They needed to be included in the agony he was enduring.

Excuse me while I go vomit.

Freedom- The Final List

Here it is- the final songs from my Freedom song list.  Enjoy!

  1. Fight Song by Rachel Platten  This is a perfect empowerment song.  It could be about anything and any obstacle.  I think the chorus is perfect:  This is my fight song. Take back my life song.  Prove I’m alright song.  My power’s turned on Starting Right now I’ll be strong.  I’ll play my fight song And I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.  Take that, CF!  You can’t break me.  You won’t destroy me.  I’ve got lots of fight left and lots of life left!
  2. Take It Back by Reba McEntire  Oh, good ol’ fiery Reba!  If this is how you act when you give your heart away then take it back!  Tell him, Reba!
  3. Brave by Sara Bareilles  She sings, “I wanna see you be brave.”  I reply, “I am doing my best.”
  4. I’ve Done Everything For You by Rick Springfield I had such a huge crush on this man back when I was in grade school.  But Rick knows what’s up.  He knows you can’t have a one-sided relationship!  I’ve done everything for you.  You’ve doing nothing for me!  Rick, I hear ya.  I’ve lived it.  I’m solidly in your corner.  I did everything shy of wiping his ass for him. He fucked his cousin for me.  Thanks!
  5. Slut by Scotty Vanity  Another one I enjoyed playing while CF is home.  I just wanted him to know what he’s got.  I think this sums it up:  Everywhere she goes she’s in skanky ass clothes.  Everybody knows she’s a slut.  That hoe ain’t got no class.  All the guys just want some ass.  They don’t even have to ask ‘cause she’s a slut.  Look at how she moves her body so promiscuous and naughty.  She’s a slut. She’s a slut.  She keeps acting like a tramp.  I guess she doesn’t give a damn ‘cause she’s a slut. She’s a slut. S.L.U.T.  S.L.U.T.  Why does she have to be such an S.L.U.T.  S.L.U.T.  She’s a slut.  She’s acting like she all but she’s just a booty call.
  6. You’re a Lie by Slash featuring Myles Kennedy & the Conspirators  You may have guessed this already with the first song on this list being by Alice Cooper but in my high school and college days I loved me a good head banging song.  I was a huge Guns -N-Roses fan.  This one has Slash playing guitar.  I think the title pretty much sums up my ex:  You’re a Lie.  You bled me out, you tore me down  Your time has come, you can go  ‘Cause you’re a lie (lie) lie (lie)  All my faith has been wasted (wasted) ‘Cause you’re a lie (lie), lie (lie).  Mmm hmmm.  Seems about right.

Reaching way back, Tanya Tucker sings the next two songs.  Country music seems to be full of cheating and empowering songs.  Perhaps that’s because it’s been said that country music always involves drinking, women, and cheating.  Hmmm…

7. Walking Shoes   These are probably two of the first country songs I heard where the woman wasn’t begging her man to stay.  They definitely made an impression!  As she sings:  I’m gonna put on my walkin’ shoes tonight.  Well I’m a-leavin’ here ‘cause you don’t treat me right.  All you do is make me cry So now I’m a-gonna say goodbye.  I’m gonna put on my walkin’ shoes tonight… I’m the best thing, baby, that you ever had.  When you find that out you’re gonna feel so bad.  You’ll beg me, please, come back home to you But it’s too late I’m puttin’ on my walkin’ shoes.  She also has an old travelin’ hat and an all over coat.  It’s a full wardrobe of “I’m outta here!”                                                                             8. Down to My Last Teardrop  Baby this ain’t the first time you’ve done it to me. Honey it’s gonna be the last time.  And I know you think that I’ll be goin’ out of my mind Crying you a river that winds and winds and winds Oh but baby I’m down to my last teardrop this time.  I don’t care who or what you’re doin’.  Ain’t gonna be no more boohooin’.  Baby this time I swear it’s the truth I ain’t gonna cry no more for you.  Uh-uh…. And you might want to talk to me, you might want to call.  But you won’t hear nothin’ out of me at all Cause baby I ain’t got nothin’ left to say Honey I’ll just be on my way.  My sentiments exactly, Tanya!

9. 50 Ways to Say Goodbye by Train  This is a fun, quirky little song.  He’s not actually plotting her death; he just has a lot of bizarre explanations for where she is, and all of those explanations involve untimely deaths instead of simply saying she broke up with him.  I do, however, like to imagine all of those things happening to CF.  Let’s see we’ve got: went down in an airplane (this is a possibility; he does travel occasionally- fingers crossed!), fried getting suntanned (I don’t see that happening with him), fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand, met a shark under water, fell and no one caught him, caught in a mudslide, eaten by a lion (oh please, please, please!!!!), got run over by a crappy purple Scion, dried up in the desert, drowned in a hot tub, and danced to death at an east side night club (not in a million years).  We could add drank himself to death.  Drove off a mountain returning from the whore’s house.  Trampled by Louisville fans.  Oh, the list is endless.  Honestly, I don’t pray for his death.  It’s not that I’m nice when it comes to him.  I’m practical.  Dead men don’t pay spousal or child support.                                                                                                                                         10. One More Minute by Weird Al Yankovic  Hey, we all need a little comedy in our life.  Al’s humor is a little dark on this one; I’m not going to lie.  These are just a few of the things he says he would rather do than spend one more minute with you:  eat shards of broken glass, get a hundred thousand paper cuts on his face, rip out his intestines with a fork, have his blood sucked out by leeches, shove an ice pick under a toenail or two, clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with his tongue, and finally… rip his heart out of his ribcage with his bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it ’til he dies.

Freedom- Part 7

We are almost to the end, my friends.  I hope you’ve found some good music along this journey. I know it’s a random assortment of songs- hard rock, Connie Francis, country, pop… A little something for everyone, I suppose.

  1. Bye Bye Bye by ‘NSync.  I was never the biggest boy band fan.  I don’t think I even realized how popular this song was when it first came out. I’m going to blame it on having a baby and succumbing to the allure of The Wiggles.  I was all- mashed potato, mashed potato and they were all- bye bye bye!  But recently I heard it and I think it fits on my list.  It’s fun, it’s catchy, and hey, you can dance to it!  No lyrics needed; the title says it all.  Bye, bye, bye!
  2. Wish You the Worst by O’Shea   There is another song by Katy Perry with this exact title.  I’ve listened to it on YouTube but I can’t find the song on iTunes.  However, when I put the title into the search function this one by O’Shea came up.  It’s actually very similar to the one Katy Perry sings.  Let me be the first to wish you the worst.  I hope the both of you never make it to happily ever after.  All the lies you told, I hope you get what you deserve.  Let me be the first to wish you the worst.  My sentiments exactly.  May the both of you get exactly what you deserve!  The chorus in Katy’s version goes like this:  Let me be the first to wish you the worst ‘Cause I think you deserve each other.  Let me be the curse That creeps under your skin Until your heart caves in And you wish she was me.

I love me some P!nk.

3. F**kin’ Perfect  I picked this first song to remind myself of my worth. Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel Like you’re less than fucking perfect.  I do remind myself of this.  He may not have seen my true worth but I do.                                                                  4. So What   A perfect “Fuck You” song:  So, so what?  I’m still a rock star, I got my rock moves, And I don’t need you, And guess what, I’m having more fun, And now that we’re done, I’m gonna show you tonight, I’m alright, I’m just fine, And you’re a tool, So, so what, I am a rock star, I got my rock moves, And I don’t want you tonight.                                                  5. Blow Me (One Last Kiss)  As she says:  I think I’ve finally had enough.  Yep, being moved thousands of miles away after forgiving you for your first emotional affair with the whore, tearing our kids’ lives apart, and then finding out you’re fucking the whore and giving her all of our money will do that to a person.  It was actually a pretty quick decision.  And as a little warning:  You will pay for your sins, you’ll be sorry my dear All the lies, all the why’s, will all be crystal clear. 

6. Blame It On Your Heart by Patty Loveless   Going back to the 90s for this one!  I told you those country women aren’t taking it anymore!  As Patty sings:  Are you headed for a heartache, oh yeah.  Gonna get a bad break, oh yeah.  You made a bad mistake, oh yeah.  Well, you’re never gonna find another love like mine.  Someone’s gonna do you like you done me honey And when she does you like she’ll do you, it ain’t funny You need some sympathy But don’t be calling me Hey blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating, two-timing, double-dealing mean mistreating loving heart                                                                                 7. You Will also by Patty Loveless  This song isn’t completely on point here but I do love the implications:  When you know, and you will, it wasn’t meant to be.  When she walks, and she will, you’re gonna come to me.  When she lies and she will.  When all is said and done.  When you cry and you will, you’re gonna wanna run…  When you hurt, you will.  Who’s gonna sympathize?  Well, she won’t. But I will…  Ah, see that’s where she loses me.  Because I will not sympathize.  I’ll be sitting in a comfy chair with a big bowl of popcorn and a vodka and cranberry, laughing my ass off and reminding him to keep his insurance policy up to date if he’s going to kill himself.  All topped off with a big ol’, “I told you so!”                                                                                                                                8. Girlfriend by Pebbles  Nothing like one of your girlfriends telling you to get out, that he’s not worth the misery and pain.  Girlfriend, how could you let him treat you so bad?  Girlfriend, you know you are the best he ever had.                                                                                

9. I Don’t Care Anymore by Phil Collins   Another Fuck You song.  Nothing is better than letting your cheating, lying douchebag know that you just don’t care anymore.  There is nothing left.  I don’t care what you say.  I never did believe you much anyway.  I won’t be there no more so get out of my way.  Let me by I got better things to do with my time.  I don’t care anymore.                                                                                                                   10. She’s a Whore byThe Poxy Boggards   Need I say more? I simply love hearing the refrain of:  She’s a whore, yes, a whore. A lass of myth and lore.  A pontifex of oral sex, She’ll ride ya ‘til you’re sore. She’s a whore, yes a whore.  She is dear to fleet and corps. Her legs are splayed, we’ll all get laid by the whore that we adore.

Freedom Part #6

Are you getting tired of my list of songs?  I hope not.  I told you in the beginning that there were 83 of them.  That makes for one long list.

  1. Someday by Mariah Carey   Yet another song from way back in the day.  But yes, he was so blind to let me go, especially when he’s leaving for a gold-digging whore.  Maybe now you just can’t conceive that there’ll ever be a time when you’re cold and lonely…. But when you’re down in your time of need and you’re thinking that you might be coming back to own me just think again ‘cause I won’t need your love anymore.
  2. Independence Day by Martina McBride  Another song about domestic violence and yet it continues to have a message of empowerment.   Let freedom ring.  Let the white dove sing.  Let the whole world know that today is a day of reckoning.  Let the weak be strong.  Let the right be wrong.  Roll the stone away.  Let the guilty pay.  It’s Independence Day.  And let the cheater live a life of misery.  It’s Independence Day!
  3. Lips Are Movin’ by Meghan Trainor   I think the title says it all.  This is my motto with CF.  If his lips are movin’ then he’s lyin’.

I have no idea what happened between Blake and Miranda but I’m hoping he didn’t cheat on her because this bitch be crazy!  Nothing like a little Miranda to feel kickass!  I also want to note that while Blake did leave his first wife for Miranda from what little I’ve read it sounds like he did try to do the right thing and leave his wife before hooking up with her, although I’m sure that’s of little solace to her.  And hey, if that’s not the way it played out then I suppose the first Mrs. Blake Shelton is having a nice little laugh right about now.  Karma can certainly be a bitch.

4. Gunpowder & Lead  Another one of those songs that isn’t about cheating.  It’s about domestic violence and a woman who turns the tables on him and kills him.  His fist is big but my gun’s bigger.  He’ll find out when I pull the trigger.  I keep this one on the list because I used to have it as one of my alarms and it supposedly scared the shit out of CF.  But as I always told him, “Honey, guns are messy and there is always an investigation.  If I ever decide to kill you I’ll poison you and make it look like a heart attack.”  I must have said it with a big enough smile on my face because that self-righteous, sanctimonious, whiny, yellow-bellied coward actually had the balls to cry about me no longer feeding him. After I found out about Harley.                                          5. Mama’s Broken Heart  Again, not really about cheating or empowerment, but damn, she does crazy very well.                                                                                                                      6. Baggage Claim   Listening to this song I think it pretty much sums up my life with CF.  He’s got so many issues he should be a comic book.  I have been draggin’ around your sensitive ego.  Check.  Making sure that your bags arrive on time for the dog and pony show.  Check.  And then she gets real:  At the baggage claim, you got a lot of luggage in your name. When you hit the ground check the lost and found cause it ain’t my problem now.  Finally she tells him:  You better call your momma when you get to town cause I ain’t gonna be hangin’ around.  Check.  Call your mommy, CF, so she can enable you and tell you what a wonderful person you are.  She can handle all your baggage now, along with your sister, your best friend, and your “soul mate”.                                                        7. Somethin’ Bad by Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood   This so completely does not belong on this list but it’s here.  Two kickass women on a somewhat shady adventure.  That’s empowering, right?

8. Wrong Song by Connie Britton & Hayden Panettiere from the cast of Nashville  I was going to say that I know country music sometimes has a reputation for the women being all “stand by your man” but look at most of the songs on this list!  They’re country songs and these women are making lists and checking off names!  I think early country music was very stand by your man, but most of today’s hits are all about taking your power back.  Rant over.  This one was performed on the television show, “Nashville”.  I like it because it harkens back to those times when the woman was expected to forgive and forget, and as Connie and Hayden (Or Rayna and Juliette, if we’re going by the characters on the show) sing, “You’ve got the wrong song.”  If you think you’re gonna hear how much I miss ya.  If you’re needin’ to feel better ‘bout yourself.  If you’re wantin’ to hear me say I forgive you cause the tequila turned you into someone else.  If you’re looking for one more chance, a little stand by your man.  You got the wrong song coming through your speakers.  This one’s about a liar and a cheater.  Didn’t know what he had ’til it was gone.  You got the wrong girl ‘cause I got your number.  Don’t know what kind of spell you think I’m under.  This ain’t a feel good everything’s fine sing-along.  You got the wrong song.  Tell me boy was she worth every minute.  I hope you had the time of your life.  You made your bed, now go lie in it.  All I got to say to you is goodbye.  How’d you think I’d react?  Saying baby come back….. Everybody makes mistakes.  We can work it out.  Wouldn’t it be nice if that’s what I was singing now.                                                                                             9. That’s How You Know by Nico & Vinz featuring Kid Ink and Bebe Rexha  This song has nothing to do with cheating but it is a humorous look at the various ways you know that you’ve fucked up.  I’m going to eventually write my own verse for CF but until then I’ll just be belting out the chorus and thinking of him and his stupidity.      10. Feeling Good by Nina Simone  I debated about which version to download but went with the original.  For me, this is a song of hope.  It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me.  And I’m feeling good.