To Make You Feel My Love

My tire keeps needing air. My mechanic noticed it and supposedly fixed it but ever since that day I’ve had to fill up the tire 3 usually every other day. This week it suddenly needed air every day.

I had a trip planned with the mobster this weekend. Being a safety conscious kind of gal I took my car in to replace the tire Thursday after work. Only to find out the tire was fine. My rim was cracked. That will be $350, please. Oh, and we have to order it so it won’t be in for a few days.

I was told it should be fine to drive it. It wouldn’t fall apart on me, he assured me. Nonetheless I had to fill the tire up again in less than 12 hours so I made a judgment call and opted to rent a car for this weekend.

I work over by the airport so I decided to rent from one of the car rental places at the airport. I planned on picking it up on my lunch hour so I could leave immediately at 4:30. It was an early day for me!

Plans did not go as scheduled. I couldn’t find a lot to park in. As I made my way around the second time I wondered if maybe there was no parking and they just expected me to park in long term parking. Great! Pay to rent a car, then pay to park your own car.

I pulled over at the Veteran’s Park and tried to call. Couldn’t get through. At this point I have 15 minutes left. I ended up going back to work and attempting to call from there. It took another two tries but I finally got through. They told me that, yes, I could still pick up the car at 4:30, and no, they did not have any rental car parking.

That was easy enough to solve. My co-worker just dropped me off.

I got to the counter, told them I had a reservation. He responds, “For 12:30?” I told him, yes, that was the original reservation, but I couldn’t find a place to park. I went on to tell him I called and verified that I could still pick up the car and was told it would be no problem. Nevertheless, the car was not ready so I would need to wait until they could get one ready for me.

Almost AN HOUR later I was finally on my way. I was so frustrated and upset. Instead of getting to my destination around 9:30, 10:00, when we would still have a decent amount of time to do something, I was now going to be arriving between 10:30 and 11.

I realize it’s only an hour, but for me the difference between 9:30 and 10:30 is huge. I was in a bad mood pretty much the entire time. Okay, I ate a Subway sandwich and that put me in a slightly better mood for a little bit.

The mobster kept trying to cheer me up but I was having none of it. I hate missing even an hour with him.

I finally made it to our Air BnB around 11:00. I walked in and was greeted by this.


When I first walked in I was a little confused. I thought maybe that was how they differentiated each apartment. I also thought it was a huge coincidence that our Air BnB had a Pokemon theme.  Then it clicked and I realized he had put this all together for me. All those frustrations melted away. I felt like a giant ass for being upset.

I haven’t even shown the pictures of the food! He had a plate of cookies, wrapped chocolates, chips, salsa, cheese dip, chocolate melts and strawberries so we could make chocolate dipped strawberries. He had mini diet Cokes for me, coffee drinks, and two alcoholic beverages- 1 for each of us.

We ended up having an amazing evening despite the fact it didn’t begin until 11pm. We walked the streets of Chillicothe until after 3 a.m.! We didn’t go to bed until 3:30!

What can I say? He was right. He’s almost always right. I wasted too much time being frustrated and pissed off because my plans didn’t go as expected. He always finds a way to turn my frown upside down. I am so incredibly lucky to have found him!


Pokemon Fever

My name is Sam and I am a Pokemon Go addict.

I didn’t intend for this to happen. My beloved introduced me to this addiction. “You should download the app on your phone and we can play together. Won’t that be fun?”

Honestly? I had no intentions of downloading the app. He keeps trying to get me to play Pub G, too, and so far I have resisted. I was content to nod my head and encourage him in his pursuits.

Then came the weekend after the 4th of July. We were in Athens again. We had just finished eating breakfast at our “regular” breakfast place. As we were deciding what to do he broaches the topic with me again.

If I’m being honest (and I always am) I was going to download the app just to make him happy. “Yep. See? I did it. I downloaded the app.” I had no intentions of actually playing that day. If I did play that day I didn’t think I would ever play the game again after the weekend was over.

The only problem was I fell in love with the game! We were on a college campus and there were Pokemon stops and gyms and Pokemon everywhere! I caught that first Pokemon and spun that first Pokemon stop and I was hooked! I downloaded the app Saturday morning and by the time we left the following day I was already a level 16, I believe. I came home eager to see what kind of Pokemon lurked in my hometown. I even took a walk after work to see if there was a huge Pokemon population in our surrounding neighborhoods.

There are 40 levels. When I started the mobster was at Level 28. I’m at Level 32 right now. I caught up to him a couple of times and actually passed him briefly but he managed to get to Level 32 and is ahead of me in points right now.

That’s what I’ve been doing with a lot of my time now. Sometimes it works out for the best- like when I take a walk over to the Veteran’s Memorial Park on my breaks about 2 blocks from my building. I figure taking that brief walk is better for me than sitting in a room, reading. Other times it’s a huge time suck- like when I’m driving around and hitting up the known Pokemon stops so I can fill up my bag, or get gifts to give to my 103 “friends”.

I like it though. It’s something to do and it’s something the mobster and I do together. We’re meeting up again this weekend in a quaint little town with lots of Pokemon stops! We’re gonna catch ‘em all!

Yet Another Deep Thought By Sam

Whatever happened to that man from Nantucket? That is a story that never reaches a conclusion; it just kind of drops off after the first two lines. I admit I’m curious. How does this story end? What is he up to?

Forget Baby Jane; I want to know whatever happened to the man from Nantucket.

More Random Thoughts From Sam

Our vending machine at work takes debit cards. You swipe the card and wait while it decides if you’re worthy of a beverage or not. I’m always so happy when I see that little message scroll across the screen: You’ve been approved! I do a little happy dance. It’s like I got approved for a mortgage or something. Yee-ha!

I know it’s just a diet Coke but for a moment I feel great. I’ve been approved!

My Mom Made Me Write This

My mother has a problem with me calling Harley’s kids “mulligans”. They are innocent children, she tells me. They have done nothing. It is not their fault their mother is a whore. She wants me to stop calling them mulligans. She thinks it’s derogatory. Actually, she thought it was synonymous with hooligan.

In response I told her that calling them mulligans had nothing to do with them personally; it has to do with what they represent to CF. I’m not using the term to insult them; I’m using it to throw shade at him.

Mulligan- a second chance to perform an action, usually after the first chance went wrong through bad luck or blunder.

…when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action.

A do-over.

The term is now widely used to describe any “do-over” or second chance after initial failure.

I don’t refer to them as such to be cruel. They represent CF’s second chance, his “do over”, if you will. He gets to pretend like his first two children don’t exist. He gets to pretend like he’s daddy of the year. I’m using a term to describe what they are to him.

Perhaps it is cruel. I prefer to think of it as flippant. “Hey! How are those replacement kids working out for ya, CF?” Mulligan is easier to type. 

But to appease my mother I will do my best to not refer to them as such. They are, after all, innocent children who have a whore for a mother and have to live with CF. They’ve got enough on their plate.

Father’s Day 2019

How was Father’s Day for all of you out there? Mine was lovely. Honestly, my whole weekend was lovely. Normally I am a total couch potato all weekend long. Like, stay in my pajamas all weekend long. However, this weekend I was quite busy.

Saturday I was all set to accompany my mother to the art fair. It was better than the other option, which was yard work. Thanks to the rain gods and the ominous dark clouds (don’t tell my mom I did a quick rain dance) the yard work was a no go. Alas, on our way to the outdoor art fair it began to rain. We headed downtown instead and went into the shop where I bought my adorable pink hat years ago.


The owner is retiring at the end of this month so everything in the store was 50% off. I found some really cute things. Afterwards we went to a New Orleans themed restaurant where I enjoyed a soup flight and an order of beignets and my mom had a Cobb salad. I did share the beignets.

I had already agreed to dinner with Sweet J a day or two prior so I went home and chilled until she came over. We ended up going to Logan’s for dinner. I thought we were just going to go to dinner and catch up, but she wanted to go out to the mall and to Kohl’s to get her dad a gift. After we did all of that she wanted to know if I’d like to go to a movie. We saw “Men In Black International”. It was great. Very funny. And I didn’t get home until 1 in the morning! I’m rarely out that late!

Sunday Picasso and I went down to see my dad. I had planned on calling the mobster on my way down there but I ended up having a two hour conversation with my son instead. It was wonderful! He’s an incredibly funny, intelligent, sensitive kid. He’s also very quiet and keeps to himself. OK, quiet is probably not correct. I constantly here him yelling while he’s playing the Xbox with his friends. What I should say is he’s a hermit, immersed in his online gaming. So, it was quite nice to be able to spend those two hours in the car interacting with him.

My dad, on the other hand, is a completely different story. He’s suffering from some sort of dementia so he didn’t really know me but he’s not in pain. He’s still walking around. He still enjoys his dog. He’s just not fully there anymore. My stepmother keeps a pretty close eye on him. We’ve never been close and this is the first time I’ve been down in years but I thought it was important that I go.

The boy and I did have a good time. My dad’s dog is a giant Great Dane. The dog comes up past my hips. He’s huge! Plus, they just found a kitten that my stepmom thinks someone just dumped. She’s about six months old and sosweet. The dog really likes her, too, and she gets along with him. I really miss having a cat but I don’t miss having a litter box.

When I got home I happened to go upstairs. Sitting on my computer was a note and an article of clothing. It was folded up so I didn’t know what it was.


I have the sweetest daughter.

There are so many days I let the bad things overwhelm me. There are an equal number of days where I think to myself, “I am not where I want to be almost four years later.” It’s easy to get depressed and to get down on myself. Days like this though, when I get these sweet notes and acts of appreciation from my kids, it’s hard to feel bad. I may not be able to support myself, or my kids, but they love me. I keep telling myself that’s the real measure of how well I’m doing.

I Almost Forgot What Day It Was

Some things have such a devastating impact on your life you think you’ll never forget the date. That was the case with June 10th.

Long time readers might remember that June 10th, 2016 isn’t DDay. Rather it’s the day CF texted me to let me know he had lost his job, sending me into a free fall of financial insecurity.

This year I completely forgot the date until the day was almost over. I was reading old blog posts and read last year’s post about June 10th when it hit me that today was June 10th. It was 10:45 at night.

I work at a bank. I am aware of the date all the time. Significant dates usually ping my brain, no matter how much I may try to stop them.

Not this year. If I hadn’t been re-reading old posts the day probably would have passed by unnoticed.

That’s a good  thing.