I Am the Grinch That Stole Christmas

He never fails to amuse. I got a check from Cousinfucker today. It was for $902.91. That seems to fall short of the $4605.81 he was ordered to pay you, Sam. Why yes it does. After doing a bit of math I found it is exactly half of what he has been ordered to pay in child support. Apparently, he is absolving himself from paying spousal support.

Yes, Your Honor, nice try with that “ruling” and all, but I’m Cousinfucker and I make my own rules. I also don’t feel the need to pay her by the first or anything else you told me to do.

The check was even labeled “child support” as opposed to “child and spousal support” which is what he used to label them.

I’m not complaining. Not yet at least. If he continues to send the $902.91 every two weeks that will make the difference between being able to somewhat survive and not surviving. With having to pay for health insurance through my work my paychecks will be somewhere in the $500 range. Yep, that’s right. $500 for 2 weeks worth of work. So as much as I hate it I am appreciative of the small amount he’s sending my way.

My favorite part though, was the envelope. He’s back to using his home address. Must want to brag about his new home with the whore and try to stick it to me yet again. I  was also addressed using my maiden and married name this time which is new. But the best part? They must have typed this up on the computer because I got a lovely little Grinch cartoon on my envelope. Aren’t they the cutest?

Yes, well when I have to send him copies of medical bills for him to pay I’m going to be sure to design an envelope with a big ol’ picture of a steaming pile of shit on it.

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When a Parent Loses Their Way

October 2015

My girl is in love.  So sweet.  And her father has no idea.  He’s never met the kid.  He has no idea how cute they are together or the depth of her feelings for him.  He didn’t see her at Homecoming.  He didn’t get to hear about how much fun she had.  He doesn’t get to hang around with the two of them.

She told me this morning she had a dream where she talked to her dad and she asked him if he liked her or his whore’s kids better.  He told her he liked them better.  😦

Yesterday Picasso had an eye appointment so she was home by herself for a while.  She sent me a text:  Dad came home and made awkward eye contact with me so I’m hanging out in the garage.  She ran out to see me when I got back and told me the whole story- how she hid out in the garage first and then ended up going downstairs to the basement and locking the door so he couldn’t get to her.

I asked Picasso if his dad had tried talking to him again.  No.  How do you feel about that?  He told me he’d probably feel worse if he did try to talk to him because he would just be lying and trying to get him on his side.  He told me that his dad told him I took a lot of money out of his account that day he did talk to him.

Then to make things even better, although this happened in the reverse order, I got a call from the lawyer’s office.  We have the docket meeting scheduled for November 2nd which means we won’t have an actual hearing until probably December or January.  Terrific!  I really want him to feel the pain and if he only has a week or so before he collects his bonus check there won’t be much pain at all.  I found solace in the fact that he probably thinks all that bonus check is his to play with, not knowing he’s going to need that to live on.  I guess the question is:  Is it more painful to know upfront that you can’t do something or more painful to think you’ve got this big check waiting for you and you can create all kinds of magic with your whore and fake family and then WHOOSH it’s all taken away from you.  Follow up question, just in case we don’t get a hearing even later:  Is it even more painful still to have splurged and bought all your shiny bling and then find out you have no money to live on?  I waffle between which would bring me more justice- the two of them getting this close to having everything their little hearts desired and then yanking it away, or letting them spend, spend, spend, only to find out he’s only going to have at most $2000/month to live on.

 

How Long Will I Be Married?

O.M.G.! I am still freaking married! The divorce trial was a month ago. The judge’s opinion came in almost 2 weeks ago. I’m still married! My attorney has to prepare the order, then have CF’s attorney sign it and then the judge signs it. She told me it will be a few more weeks. I don’t think she’s prepared the document yet. CF’s got a full year after the final divorce decree is issued to pay me my $25,000. I’m also assuming that he’s not going to get into his damn 401k to pay me my back support until the divorce is final.

Speaking of money… I just got another bill from my attorney the other day. I owe her over $9800. The trial itself cost $2200. Of that $9800 I think $6000 of it is new charges, meaning crap that wasn’t figured into my final attorney expense fees. So while he’s paying $25,000 I’m still paying right around $10,000 myself. And now I have a good $5000 less than what I thought I was going to have after I paid my final legal fees.

Today I got another bill! This one was from the court reporting system. WTF? I never knew you got charged for the stenographer they use! I definitely want a damn copy of the court proceedings.

Finally, I’m sure this is going to come as a huge shocker to most of you but I have NOT received a support check from CF yet. It was due on the 1st and I got nothing. In fact, I’ve received nothing from him since I got the check that bounced on the 18th of October. The last time I actually received money from him was on October 8th, almost a full two months ago.

Yet another reason to get this damn divorce finalized! I don’t think I can start garnishing his pay check until I have the actual divorce decree and I can pretty much bet that he won’t pay me until he has no choice.

Bringing My Family Into This Mess

Once upon a time I began a blog and told the world about the cousin fucking, shit eating chimp I was married to. I have told many stories about him, his family, and all that he has put me through.

One night not long ago I was talking to the mobster, regaling him with stories of my former dysfunctional marriage when he asked, “Did you write about this story somewhere?” Well, no; I had not. There are just so many potential stories from which to choose and this one has somehow been left behind. Until now.

I have been pretty upfront that the entire move from Utah to Virginia was brutal. I had the toughest time I’ve ever had adjusting. I was very active in PTA back in Utah. I came out to Virginia and all the spots on the middle school board were filled; they met every other month and I never attended a single meeting. The high school didn’t even have a PTA. I had hoped to get involved with the booster club but CF put an end to that when he decided to leave me to go fuck his cousin. I couldn’t find any place to volunteer. I didn’t have many friends, and almost all of the few friends I had worked. I was unhappy; I was bored. I missed my friends. Shockingly, I refrained from having an affair, which apparently is what you do when you’re unhappy.

It was also made more difficult with the knowledge that this move was set into motion because of the whore. Once he began messing around with her he put the bug in someone high up’s ear, and that’s how we came to move 2000 miles across the country.

However, upon finding out we would be moving to Virginia my mom made the comment that she loved Virginia; she could live there. We looked at some homes with in-law apartments and guest houses.

CF also talked to my brother about bringing him onboard as a supervisor. For my brother this would be huge. He would be management. He and his wife talked about this potential move. She was on board.

With my brother considering a move my mom was definitely going to move. There would be no reason to stay if my brother and his family left the area. My mom started going through her things and getting rid of some of her stuff in anticipation of a move.

Everyone in my family began looking at houses and figuring out what they would need to do to sell their current homes. I began to get hopeful that this would really happen and I could have my mom, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my niece and nephew all living nearby.

Then CF started back pedaling. Suddenly, he couldn’t just hire my brother in. His company had to post all openings and they had to keep records of who all they had interviewed for jobs. My brother would have to be hired in as an hourly employee. There was no guarantee he would rise to management, and that’s not what CF had talked about anyway. He had talked about bringing him onboard as management. Repeatedly. He told him how he needed someone like him as a supervisor.

My guess is this happened right around the same time good ol’ Blockhead shared my blog with him.

Naturally my brother was no longer willing to move under those conditions. It’s one thing to quit your job and sell your house when you’ve got a guaranteed job with advancement in your future. It’s quite another to do all of that when all you’re promised is a shot at being an hourly worker.

With my brother and his family no longer relocating my mom also pulled the plug on her move. I was devastated. The possibility of having my family around me was the only thing that made living there bearable, and once that was taken away I felt a sense of hopelessness. I figured I would live there in misery forever.

I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than what he did to me while in the psych ward for that week.

The first day he was there and I was able to visit he told me he could see my Mamaw.

Now first you have to realize that I can’t even put into words how much I loved my Mamaw. She was my favorite person. She loved me completely; I could do almost no wrong in her eyes.

She also didn’t tend to like many people, especially of the male persuasion. I don’t think she ever liked any of my mom’s husbands. But oh she loved CF. I think it was the West Point pedigree. Or maybe it was simply because I had chosen him.

He was always kind to her. I think he got a perverse pleasure out of the fact that she didn’t like many men but she liked him and had given him her seal of approval. When she would stay with us he would kiss her on her forehead goodnight. She seemed to really like that.

Fast forward to February of 2015. My Mamaw had been gone for almost 8 years. CF hadn’t bothered to go with me to her funeral. Didn’t even have his company send flowers. I drove 30 hours with two small kids, ages 4 and 6, to get to her bedside before she died. The A/C that had just been repaired went out in my van because the mechanic hadn’t tightened the damn fan belt so we spent 18 hours driving in a car with no air conditioning. I drove from 6 in the morning until midnight to get to my in-law’s house so that I could get my belt replaced the next day.

Nevertheless, that day came in February and CF told me that along with watching movies that were projected on to the wall in his room, he could see Mamaw. She was asking him to kiss her forehead.

At the time I was all sympathetic and understanding. “CF, you have to tell the doctors you are hallucinating!” In fact, it was me that brought it up to them. There I was, his staunch ally, advocating for him, forgiving him, reassuring him that I would always be there.

Today I say, “What a sick fuck! Using my Mamaw like that. How can you possibly go any lower?”

Sadly, while that memory pains me deeply because he did use someone I loved so dearly, the fact remains that she was dead. His actions didn’t hurt her. Only me, the living. What he did to the rest of my family was appalling.

He nearly orchestrated the upheaval of all of their lives, only to skip out of the state! He messed with my brother’s hopes and his future.

And that’s not even mentioning how my family rallied around him when he was in the psych ward. He pitifully asked me if I would ask my mom to come see him the day he was being admitted. She dropped everything and drove 13 hours from Florida. My brother took comp time and left work at 4 am and drove the 10 hours to see him. That Saturday I couldn’t visit him because Rock Star had a meet out of state so my brother spent the entire two hours with him and even brought him a meal so he didn’t have to eat hospital food another day.

He told me that my family was his only real family because his own family didn’t care anything about him. He even wrote that on one of the worksheets he was given in the psych ward. It was his list of goals and one of those goals was to spend more time with family. He wrote, “My wife’s family because that is my only real family.”

Sadly, he had one sister who came to visit after he got home from the hospital, but neither Jezebel nor Tammy Faye bothered to visit. Yet this is who he lists as his support system. They are why he can’t leave Kentucky. He relies on them. Yeah, right.

I should have known back then. I already knew Blockhead had been feeding him bits and pieces from my Facebook page. Then right before he was set to come home he had a bad reaction to his new medication. He had hallucinations and ended up staying an extra day at the hospital.

When we went to visit him he was able to tell us in detail everything that happened. Now, my mom doesn’t believe he really had any kind of hallucinations but I’ve known of at least two people who had a bad reaction to Robitussin. They had hallucinations and they could recall what happened during that time. The real point of this story isn’t whether he was faking or not. It’s the fact that in his hallucinations I was the bad guy. I flashed him when he was locked up. I was jumping up and down on his car, and ultimately shit in it because, “it’s a piece of shit car so there!” Oh, it doesn’t stop there. I also smuggled liquor into his room to set him up so they would hold him longer. I believe his exact words were, “That bitch set me up!” It was once he tried to hide the liquor bottle and discovered it wasn’t real that he started to come back down to reality. That apparently led to him thinking that if that wasn’t real then maybe everything else he had been experiencing wasn’t real.

Folks, again I remind you that I was at the hospital every day for the entire length of his visiting hours. While I did refuse to smuggle Kodiak into him I did run out and buy him gum, magazines, books, crossword puzzles and anything else I could think of that would alleviate his boredom. I called him every day. I was the one that sat with him for hours while they were trying to admit him. Yet I was the villain.

No, I might have been stupid but I wasn’t a villain. That would be the person who promised my brother a job and then backpedaled. That would be the person who used my Mamaw to get sympathy from me. That would be the person who lied, cheated and gaslighted for months and months. That would be him.

My Fantasy Confrontation

October 2015

I sent Rock Star off to Homecoming today. She looked absolutely beautiful and she and her boyfriend seem very happy together.

I usually have a fairly optimistic attitude about this whole divorce thing but every now and then something will hit me and I’ll feel like crying.  Sometimes it’s something as simple as realizing I have wasted my life with my STBX.  Other times it’s seeing parents showing up together to support their kid and realizing that while he wasn’t around much, now I will never have that again.  Or just seeing her friend’s beautiful house and coming to terms with the fact that I thought I had a man who would love me forever and now I’m finding out that’s not true and I will probably lose my own beautiful house.

I was thinking today of what I would love to tell the whore and her dumb ass.  I don’t generally think about that because I know it’s not worth my time.  But today I got feisty.  So here goes:  Did you really believe that bit about him not leaving me last time because he couldn’t “liquidate his assets” quickly enough?  What on earth changed between last time and this time?  He had more time in fact the first time you two pathetic idiots hooked up.  It takes no time at all to open up a new account, or did he tell you that our former state only has one bank and if you already have an account there you can’t open up a separate one in your name only?  Did he not tell you it only takes 24 hours to “liquidate his assets”?  Yeah, and I would have no way of knowing he was doing so because it’s all done through work.  I have no access to it.  I do believe that’s what we normal people call “a lie”.  No, sweetie, he didn’t leave me last time because he loved me and he didn’t want you.  He apparently felt the need to feed you a line so you would get down on your knees and suck his dick despite the fact that he discarded you like the white trash you are.  We both know, though, that he doesn’t need to explain it.  You would have sucked his dick no matter what.  Here’s another fun fact, you twit.  It wouldn’t matter if he liquidated his assets or not.  They’re considered marital property.  Liquidate, don’t liquidate.  It’s all the same to me and I still get half. Do you know that he called you the biggest mistake of his life?  That he said he should have just bought a motorcycle?  I want you to know you can’t fill out my bra, much less my shoes.  You are a low-life, manipulative, deceitful piece of white trash, and a criminal to boot.  He’s with you because he feels superior to you.  He only gets along with people that he believes are beneath him.  I’ve seen too much.  I’ve seen his failures, his weaknesses.  He felt like he could never do right in my eyes because he was a cheater.  So he convinced himself that I hated him and that I was miserable with him and he went sniffing out his white trash cousin, someone he could control, someone he looked down upon. You were a preemptive strike- he figured he would leave me before I could leave him.  He doesn’t think you’ll ever be better than him.  You have a criminal record; you’ve been arrested at least three times.  You send naked pictures to your neighbor while you’re telling my husband how much you want to fuck him.  You’re a whore and a cheater.  No, he definitely does not have to worry about ever feeling inferior to you.  But he did feel inferior to me and he couldn’t take that any longer.  My little whore cousin is still pining away after me; I can go fuck her and then I won’t have to do any of the hard work.  I’ll never have to wonder why she puts up with me; I’ll never have to worry she’ll leave me. I’ve betrayed my wife terribly and I’m not sure she’ll ever completely forgive or trust me so I’ll just go back to my piece of trash ass.  You can have him.  I don’t want him anymore.  You can deal with him being catatonic after he realizes he’s going to be paying me around 70-75% of his paycheck, plus taking on a sizable amount of our marital debt.  You will be willing to suck his dick and let him fuck you up the ass even when he’s not lavishing you and your kids with gifts, won’t you?  You won’t mind when you’re back to working 80 hours a week so that you can help your “soul mate” pay his spousal support, will you?  You won’t mind telling your own kids they’re going to have go without because Mommy has to help Daddy Zack pay his support or otherwise he’ll go to jail?  You can’t fuck him if he’s in jail.  I would tell you I hope it all works out for you but I really don’t.

And you… You traded me in for your white trash cousin.  She’s a criminal.  She’s a liar.  She’s a cheater.  Wow- you really traded up.  I’m sure you won’t be worried at all about whether or not she’ll remain faithful, especially once you realize you aren’t going to be able to be her sugar daddy.  No, I get 70-75% of your paycheck because they base support on your annual income.  I hope you didn’t have any big huge plans for your bonus check because you’re going to need to that to live on.  I mean, feel free to spend it if you want to; God knows I can’t tell you what to do.  But just keep in mind that every penny you blow is one less penny you have to live on…

You’ve traded in your wife, the woman who followed you all around the country and raised your kids, for a lying, cheating, gold digging whore.  You’re with a woman who cheats; do you really think you’re the only affair she’s had?  Oh, honey…  I bet you think you’re “special”.   I guess it’s no biggie if she cheats though because she’s with a man who cheats.  And abandons his children.  But remember that.  If you were so distraught over the thought that I could never forgive you and that caused you to search out your cousin then I can only imagine how distraught you’ll be when you realize you can’t live up to all the promises you made to her.  You must really wonder if she’ll be sending naked pictures to her neighbor again or searching out some other sugar daddy when she realizes that life with you isn’t so “rosy” either.  You’re an idiot if you think she’s with you because she loves you.  The whore spends money like it’s water; she’s never been on a budget and neither has her daughter.  She’s been arrested for writing bad checks for crying out loud!  How bad does it have to be before they actually throw your ass in jail for that?  She sees dollar signs, you jackass.  Face reality.  You’re bald.  You’ve got bad teeth.  Your breath smells like shit, no seriously, literal shit, from all the cheap wine you’re drinking and the Kodiak you’re chewing. You tell the same stories over and over again and you even admitted that most of what you two talked about the first time around was family and the people you both know.  Catching up doesn’t take years; those “common interests” are going to get tired real quick!  And you just spent a week in a psych ward.  You’re depressed, anxiety-ridden and suffer from PTSD, if you weren’t lying about everything.  Regardless, your natural state is misery.  You’re only happy when you’re unhappy.  This honeymoon period will end.  When it does she will realize what she got herself into.  It will probably end right around the time you find out how much money you’re going to be paying me.  I hope she’s as understanding as I was when you were catatonic on the bed in our former state.  Her job might be a little more difficult though because in that situation you got bailed out by your company.  Unfortunately for you I don’t think they have a bailout program for piece of shit SOBs that leave their wives for their cousins after moving them across the damn country.  In other words, you’re on your own.  And if that doesn’t do it I’m sure realizing you’re stuck here in this town unless you can find a job that pays you as much as you earn *annually* at your current company will.  Oh, I really hope I am able to see the look on your face when you realize your plan to move closer to your whore is never going to be realized, and you’re every bit as much stuck and isolated out here in our current state as you were in our former state.

On a more serious note you might want to closely observe your whore’s behavior, especially as it relates to your children.  You supposedly love them so much.  You are supposedly so devastated over the fact that they won’t talk to you.  But your sweet little piece of ass posts all over social media to you and about you, even going so far as to bemoan the fact that she’s so sleepless because her married lover isn’t warming her bed.  Your daughter sees it and confronts you, obviously upset over it.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say you told her your daughter saw it.  I’m not quite sure you’re evolved enough to have actually told her to knock that shit off.  Nonetheless, do you know what your little bitch’s response to your daughter seeing her father’s mistress posting about missing him from her bed?  Oh, it wasn’t to actually stop doing that crap.  No, it was to block your daughter.  I think we’ve already determined that she’s a manipulative bitch and this is simply another example.  She has to know your daughter can’t stand her. So what does she do?  Does she send her a private message, actually apologizing for her crass behavior?  Telling her she realizes she was only thinking of herself and she’s sorry?  No!  She blocks her.  She throws gasoline right on that fire.  Now she’s thrown down that gauntlet.  Every time you choose to spend any time with your kids, you won’t be able to spend time with her.  And we both know you’ll choose a piece of ass over your kids each and every time.  If she really cared about you and cared about your kids she would own her behavior. But she doesn’t, so she doesn’t.  She’s like every other second wife/mistress out there, trying to eliminate the kids from the first relationship so that she and her kids can have everything. And you’re so stupid you fall for it. “Oh, they all love me!  They think I’m the most awesome thing ever!”  No they don’t.  They see you as a wallet, a chump.  Her kids talk shit about you behind your back and she’s spreading her ass wide so that you’ll buy her pretty sparkly things!  The absolute best part is how you turn all of your shitty behavior around and act like you’re a victim.  But you’re no better than your whore; in fact, I think you’re worse.  Afterall, they are your kids.  She has no obligation to them; you do.  First you basically call your daughter a liar when she confronts you, and then you try to blame me.  And when you find out that your dearly beloved really did post that drivel you don’t have big enough balls to apologize.  Instead you avert.  Let me cry on your shoulder so you can feel sorry for me! Oh boo hoo my kids won’t talk to me!  Oh poor me- my wife had a blog where she talked about her feelings after I cheated on her with my cousin.  I’m a victim.  I had to stick my dick in that whore.  It’s all your mom’s fault. She hated me!  Yes, that’s right.  She hated me so much she moved 2000 miles across the country, away from all of her friends, in order to support my desires.  She moved 6 hours away from my mistress instead of keeping a good 25 hours of distance between us all.  She hated me so much she uprooted you two kids from the only life you ever really knew and had you start all over here, in this town we moved to because I had the hots for my cousin 2 years ago and started putting a plan into motion to get closer to her.

Let’s get something straight right now.  I didn’t hate you.  I was very clear that not only did I want our marriage to continue but I also wanted us to be happy.  That’s why I spent an entire fucking summer in a hot garage listening to rap music with you.  It’s why I would text you and tell you I was going to the grocery store and then to Target and then to PetSmart and then and then and then.  It’s why I would send you naked pictures like you liked. It’s why I AGREED TO UPROOT ALL OF US FROM A PLACE WHERE THREE OUT OF FOUR OF US WERE HAPPY AND  MOVE ACROSS THE DAMN COUNTRY FOR YOU!  If I hated you and wanted nothing else than to make you miserable then I sure did a piss poor job of protecting myself.  I never asked you to sign a post nup, giving me everything if you cheated again.  I didn’t immediately get my ass back to school for a more marketable degree or start looking for a job so I’d have some financial independence. Oh, and once again, since this bears repeating over and over, I didn’t refuse to move across the country so you could have your dream job.  What did I do?  I moved 6 hours away from your cousin/mistress. I sold my house which we had lived in for 8 years to buy a house that cost over $100,000 more than the one we left.  I bought a new car. I bought all new furniture for the new house.  All of those purchases- I could have been saving that money for my future divorce. We put a $57,000 pool in the backyard- using savings, taking out a loan, and cashing in stock.  Yes, my brilliant idea was to liquidate all of our assets on a big hole in the backyard that we would never enjoy.  I decided to top that off with accruing another $20,000 in debt. Because I hated you and wanted to make you miserable and I figured this would get me the best possible divorce settlement ever.  Yep, let’s spend every dime and rack up the debt!

Back to your crazy cousin and her delightful way with your children.  You both might want to remember that all your daughter needs to do is borrow someone else’s phone or computer and she can still see everything. Hell, she doesn’t even need to borrow it; all she needs is their password and login.  Or she can simply create a new page and see things that way.  How about until you’re actually divorced your whore stops acting like you two are a legitimate couple?  That would probably be the prudent thing.  Because right now?  You’re just two dogs in heat. You’re two people fucking each other while you’re both married to other people.  Believe me, I don’t mind. I don’t mind you being an idiot when it comes to my kids, that is.  I don’t want to share my kids with you and you’re making it extremely easy for them to hate you and want absolutely nothing to do with you.  So thanks! But I do realize it’s far better for them to actually think you care about them so with that in mind I’ll give you a little piece of advice:  Stop acting like a victim and own your behavior.  You would get a hell of a lot further with both of them if you just ‘fessed up.  Hey, kids, I leave every weekend because my skank ass cousin lives in my home state and I have to go down there to fuck her every weekend.  Perhaps a bit too graphic.  Maybe you should go with:  Kids, I don’t have an excuse.  I know what I’m doing is wrong but I don’t care; I love her and I want to be with her.  All I care about is myself and my mistress and her kids.  As your aunt always tells me:  Do what makes you happy and don’t worry about anything else! I’m the only person who matters.  My happiness is the most important thing and if you really loved me you wouldn’t care that I’m upending your lives.  You would simply be happy for me since I’m finally happy, fucking another woman and cheating on your mom.  Now kids, you need to understand that you two will always come after her and her kids so get used to it.  If you want to have a relationship with me you’re going to have to accept her and her kids because we are a package deal.  I love you two but not as much as I love her.  I leave every weekend not because I’m not welcome like I told you before but because I want to be with her.  There is absolutely nothing that any of you could do that would make it worth it to me to stay with you over the weekend.  In fact, I’m trying to find a new job that is closer to her so I don’t have to drive so far to see her every weekend.  I’ve never been much of a father to either of you so I don’t think my absence will be felt all that much.  You’ll both be fine.  Your mom did it all before this so nothing much will change.  I just won’t be upstairs in my room ignoring you; I’ll be 6-8 hours away ignoring you.

Should I Feel More?

October 2015

Is it wrong that I’m not more torn up about this divorce?  I feel like I should be shattered into a million pieces but I’m not.  I don’t know if it’s because of everything I went through before the first time, or everything I’ve dealt with since late December, or simply because once I found out I was pretty much done with him.  I just feel like I should FEEL something more.  But I don’t.  I’m relieved.  I’m sad my kids aren’t going to grow up in an intact home.  I’m sorry I’m losing a bunch of my income.  I’m sorry I may have to sell this house after only living here a short time.  I’m sorry I’m getting a divorce in the sense that I failed; I feel like used goods sometimes.  I look around and see all these people where the couples have been together forever and here I am, staring divorce in the face.  But other than that I’m good.  I’m belting out songs by Kelly Clarkson and Miranda Lambert, to name a few.  I regret the life I’m losing but I don’t regret losing the man.  I’m pissed when I think about everything he’s buying the whore and her kids and how he’s treating his own kids, but I don’t want him.  Unlike a lot of people, especially those who divorce when the kids are young, I don’t think I’m going to have to co-parent with him.  He’s trying to move out of state.  The kids are old enough to say they don’t want to go with him.  They are old enough to be told the truth about what’s happening.  They know their father had an affair. They know who the other woman is.  They have no desire to meet her and can articulate that to their dumbass dad if he tries to push the issue.  They have chosen to cut off all ties to their grandparents.  I know I should think long term but I’m happy about that.  I’m happy I don’t have to worry about having her whore cooties on my kids.  I don’t have to worry that his relatives will bad mouth me to my kids.  I don’t have to miss out on holidays with my kids.  I’m good.  All around good.

What Does the Judge Say?

I’ve kept you in suspense long enough, my faithful readers. You got the bare bones of the judgement almost a week ago so now I’ll fill in the good parts. And they’re really good!

First, the judge considered his resignation letter to be a key piece of evidence in this trial. CF had said in his letter that he loved his job and that location was the only reason he was resigning. This was in stark contrast to the story his attorney tried to paint, which was that he couldn’t handle the new social responsibilities of his position. The judge also noted that while he made mention of needing to be closer to his mother, brother, and sister, he didn’t mention his girlfriend and yet he moved directly into her home. Additionally, he pointed out that CF had been driving 6 hours each way to see her each weekend.

When looking at each of our expenses he noted CF’s share of his rent and utilities, which he classified as “expensive”. His opinion was that CF had the ability to pay and he could have paid me more than he has been. He also outright stated that considering what he has been paying to me it appears that his major efforts and monies have been expended helping his girlfriend and her children. Yes! Vindicated, baby; vindicated!

He labeled my expenses as reasonable, especially considering our standard of living before the divorce. Additionally, he deemed the expenses for Rock Star’s cheerleading as reasonable as well, noting that this was the type of activity that would have been allowed prior to our separation.

I don’t know if I ever mentioned it but his lawyer was big on trying to make my expenses seem extravagant. $90/month on nails! $500/month for cheerleading! $100/month for hair! She’s outrageous, Your Honor! Well, Your Honor didn’t think so!

I was told my expenses seemed reasonable, while his seemed quite expensive and focused on his girlfriend and her kids.

There was some discussion over our opposing expert witnesses. It was brought up that his expert had to throw out one of his tests because it was so obviously fake. He had some of the highest “bad” scores possible when it came to PTSD. The test was deemed invalid. Nonetheless, his expert opined that his job loss came about because of his untreated mental issues and drinking was simply his way of coping with them.

My expert, on the other hand, suggested that he had been able to function perfectly well for 24-25 years after this self-reported trauma. He married, had children, and worked his way up the corporate ladder. His conclusion was that he lost his job due to alcoholism, not PTSD. He had many chances to get help and he chose to refuse them at every turn.

In the end, this is what the judge said: This Court determines that the Husband’s mental health issues were something that he and the family were able to cope with, and that he was able to perform well at work. His exit interview documents are noteworthy in this regard. However, what changed, and what suddenly seemed to necessitate quitting his great job and heading to Kentucky, was his affair with Harley Buttface. When Husband left Whoreville for Kentucky, he immediately moved in with his girlfriend and her children. Adding the stressor of an affair to his personal situation, effectively causing the breakup of his marriage, was a self-inflicted wound that has to be factored in here. Until his involvement with another woman, he was able to find a way to be successful with his employment, working around any mental health issues he had.

In the end the judge ruled that him being intoxicated at work was an intentional act that he had control over and was not due to PTSD or other untreated mental illness. He pointed out that it was treatable in advance and, as my expert said, he chose not to seek help for it.

Thank you, Your Honor! That is the difference between taking his actual wages versus imputing at a higher rate.

Later in the ruling he pointed out that I had tried many times to get him help but I could never get him to stick to long term treatment. So much for being a cold-hearted she-beast who only stayed for the money! In another section he took note of the fact that I made his psychiatrist appointment for him after his release from the psych ward after he wouldn’t do it himself, that I went with him once, and that I found a therapist for him and went with him to all of those appointments.

Also of note was the fact that we were acquiring a substantial nest egg until he walked away from his job and continued his downward spiral. I am glad he recognized that.

The judge believed that I was working to the fullest of my ability and that I was at my maximum earning potential. He tossed aside the idea that I should be working a second job, pointing out that I was taking care of our two teenage children. Then he added that CF could be earning more money. I’m sure that’s not what CF and his attorney wanted to hear.

Finally, right before he announced what he would be ordering CF to pay he really handed his ass to him, noting that the industry he is in by his own words is a family like industry where you move up by  being flexible and relocating. He wrote:  This is how Husband moved up in the industry, being transferred from place to place, with each stop an opportunity to run a bigger and better plant, and make more money. This is exactly what he did. Now, Husband insists on staying in Kentucky, where he can only produce half of the $200,000 annual salary he was able to earn elsewhere for himself and his family. Accordingly, his insistence on staying in Kentucky keeps him from making approximately $200,000 per year, which he is perfectly capable of doing. He has had other employers call and put out feelers but he refuses to discuss employment outside of Kentucky. He agrees that his salary is all he can earn in Kentucky at this small plant, and he would have to relocate to earn more money.

He admits he was in a relationship with Harley when he resigned his job to go to Kentucky. He admits he went there and moved in with her. He admits that for months he had been driving to Kentucky to spend weekends with her. He admits he rents a nice home with a pool, club house, and four bedrooms, with Harley and her two children.

Husband clearly can earn more salary if he is willing to relocate, which is a norm in his industry, and under the facts of this case, finding the girlfriend to be a major reason for staying in Kentucky, the court will impute income to him of $170,000.00 per year.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall when that decision was handed down. Hey, Harley, look! You’ve got a starring role in your married fiancé’s divorce ruling. Aren’t you special? You are why your fiancé is expected to make more money. You are why the court isn’t feeling especially sympathetic to his plight and his need to remain in Kentucky. You have been found to be a major reason why he’s not meeting his court ordered obligations. Don’t you feel special? I sure hope CF thinks you’re still worth it. On the bright side you can now brag your pussy is worth at least $4600/month.

Ultimately he found him in contempt once again for not paying his court ordered support. He has 45 days to pay me the arrears or he incurs an additional $10,000 fine. He did not find his explanation for the stopped checks credible. In fact, he even said that CF had hurt his credibility with his story of stopping the checks because too much time had gone by and he was afraid they had been lost or stolen. It was such a bullshit story anyway. It didn’t help when I could pull out my log and tell the judge exactly when the checks were written and when they were deposited. In one case only four or five days has elapsed and I had to get the damn check through the mail. He went on to tell him that he thought he stopped payment to be “mean spirited” to me and that if he truly thought something had happened to the checks that was preventing me from depositing them he could have called me and yet he chose not to.

Nothing juicy was written about him paying my legal fees. It was noted that my legal fees came to $26,799.78 and I was asking for him to pay because of our income discrepancy, the fact that his behavior resulted in the divorce, and his income potential. I left out the part about paying for his whore’s divorce. My attorney had cautioned me that he probably wouldn’t give me all of my attorney fees but he would more than likely give me something. Yes, well, it turns out he ordered him to pay me $25,000. He does have a year from the date the decree is signed but he owes me.

The best part though? I wasn’t dinged at any point in this opinion. There was no: She’s obviously a frivolous spender who is asking for way more than she needs. She is fabricating her expenses. Her poor housekeeping skills prevent me from awarding her anything more than a $10/week allowance. She wasn’t credible. She contributed to the decline of her marriage. It was obvious she was there for the money alone and never acted as a wife to him. Nope. My lawyer told me I came across as very honest and very credible. She must have been right because aside from the fact that we asked for $4000/month in spousal support and got $2800 the judgement couldn’t have gone any better!

He now has been ordered to pay me $1000 more per month than he has been paying (or ordered to pay; let’s be real here.). It’s also $600 more than what my lawyer originally suggested as a settlement offer if I wanted to try to settle. He is paying about $100 less than what he was told he would have to pay me when he first visited an attorney way back in August or September of 2015, and $2000 less than he paid in temporary support (at least for 5 months) so I would count that as almost a win for him. I’ll let him have that seeing as how I got everything else.

P.S. He was also ordered to pay 71% of out-of-pocket medical expenses for the kids. That’s going to hurt seeing as I have a high deductible plan. Oh well! That’s what happens when you leave your high paying job with great insurance to be with a whore.