More Crazy Talk

We are almost done. This is Part 4. Playing catch up? Here are parts 1, 2, and 3.

I think the thing that kills me more than anything is the stupid memes I find on her page. I’ve said before, for a whore she’s very philosophical. I’ve never seen a person post as much drivel as she does. I try to roll my eyes and move along but I’m afraid my eyes are going to get stuck in the back of my head because of the unending bullshit that she posts in her quest to be enlightened and tolerant.

She is a huge fan of a group on Facebook that offers up all sorts of inspirational memes and concentrates very much on being a better person and finding your soul mate. That’s kind of funny actually. She’s a horrible person. She fucked a married man. She was sending “inappropriate” pictures to a neighbor while she fucked my husband. She continued to sleep with her estranged husband while sharing a bank account and my fucking marital funds with my husband. She’s so focused on finding true love, her other half, and her soul mate and being connected by the universe and threads of time and waiting patiently for her win and yada yada yada that she never stops to ask herself, “Hey, do you really think you should be poaching someone else’s spouse? Is that really the path to enlightenment? Is that helping you to be your best self?” You want some inspiration and philosophy, Harley? Here ya go:

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Naturally she doesn’t think like that. No, instead she goes with something like this:

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Interesting. This has me curious. Maybe that’s the point. Is she trying to insinuate that they never talk about me because I mean nothing to them? I find that hard to believe when I’m taking over half of his paycheck and they both seem so eager to hack into my Facebook page. I’m not the one hacking into their social media! I’m also not tracking down her ex-husband to get dirt on her. Nor am I sending nasty text messages or constantly fucking with them.

Isn’t that also a fantastic way to get your detractors to shut up? By spreading the narrative that talking about them and their antics means you care about them they force you to be quiet lest people think they matter a great deal.

I have a different philosophy. I think evil should be named. I think it should be brought out into the light so everyone can see the ugliness. It festers and oozes when it hides in the warm, damp darkness.

I think we can all safely conclude that she certainly doesn’t take the approach of not talking about her relationship with her cousin. Although it may “mean everything” she is not taking the quiet approach. Oh no! She is shouting it from the rooftops. “I stole my cousin away from his wife of twenty years and both his kids! He left them all for me and moved six hours away just to be close to me and my heathens!” Bravo, whore!

What’s next in Whore Philosophy 101?

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Nicely done, cunt face! Yes, please do encourage everyone not to look too closely at what happened. You can’t change the past or the fact you’re a whore who fucks other women’s husbands; so let’s just change the narrative from this point on. You’re not the cousin/mistress. You’re the cousin/wife. Forget the lies and the money and the cheating. This is your big chance to convince everyone that this is the epic love story that would not be thwarted. It was a love that could not be denied. It wasn’t some tawdry affair. It had meaning. We can all choose to concentrate on the wrongs that were done, or we can focus on the future. You might have been a cheating whore but that was ten minutes ago. Now you can start all over; you can change the ending and no one will call you a whore again. Even if you are one ‘cause leopards don’t change their spots. Whore.

Cute little side note? Tammy Faye commented on this one: Amen! It’s almost like she was saying, “Yeah, you are a whore who fucked a married man and destroyed his kids’ lives but you make him happy. We’ll just pretend all that nasty stuff never happened and take it from here. I call mulligan!

My favorite one, though, was this:

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What the hell kind of mind fuck is that shit? What do cheaters have to be angry, enraged or insulted about? Are they pouting because their duped spouses aren’t buying the lies anymore? Has that sent them into a rage? Are they enraged because people aren’t thinking highly of them anymore? Are they insulted because people call them what they are? Doubtful. They don’t typically have shame or remorse.

Rise above the bullshit? What bullshit is she rising above? She’s got me calling her a whore although never to her face. She’s got a son she’s disowned basically. I’m not sure how The Saint views her nowadays. At one point he said she was just plain mean. Maybe it hurts her to not have his adoring support and she considers that bullshit.

You want to rise above the bullshit? Try losing just about everything, bitch. Try being forced out of your home. Try starting all over… By. Yourself. And with no money because you trusted your spouse and you stayed home with the kids while he climbed the career ladder. Oh wait, that’s what you did to your husband, too. Both of you using us so that you could get further and then deciding years later that we no longer served your purposes so we were discarded.

I’ve been doing nothing except rising for the last three years. I’ve pulled up roots yet again, moved hundreds of miles yet again, kept it together for the sake of my kids, worked two jobs to support those kids when the love of your life was declining to pay support, put one foot in front of the other, and kept going.

What kind of bullshit did you need to rise against? Did you lose your home? Were you forced to move out of the state? Did your kids lose their father to another woman and her kids? Did you have to suddenly go back to work after a fifteen plus year absence and try to support your kids with no help from The Saint? Were you left wondering what was so wrong with you that your husband chose another woman over you? Did you listen in stunned bemusement at all the lies your ex told about you in his efforts to turn himself, the cheater, into a victim? No, no you didn’t, you fucking cunt. That’s what you helped do to me. You decimated my life and then want to turn around and act like you’re magnanimous. And philosophical. And so much bigger than the rest of us.

Flick your light back on and shine it brighter than ever? Seriously? Why don’t I shove a flashlight up your ass and that way when you open your pie hole to spit out this drivel you can shine a light on your nonsense? Once again, whores are so philosophical and so misunderstood. Let’s help them shine a light onto their greatness. God knows we wouldn’t want them to shrink back into the darkness.

I think the last line is my favorite though: Fall so deeply in love with your own life that anyone who tried to wrong you becomes a laughable, ridiculous, distant memory.

Brilliant! She will not be kept down. No one will shame her.  Does anyone have any doubt that the whore loves her life? She’s got everything she’s ever wanted and has suffered no consequences. Why would she not love her life? She does not need that advice. She needs advice that centers on being humble and kind!

And who has tried to wrong her? She is the one going out and wronging others. She wronged me. She wronged my children. She’s wronged her own son. She wronged her husband.

This idea that any of us should somehow become a distant, laughable, ridiculous memory is insane. She is the one who needs to fade into the darkness.

She likes to turn it around so that she’s the enlightened victim, refusing to let the haters get her down. The reality is she’s the one doing all the victimizing.

This advice isn’t actually bad. Believe me, I am doing my best to fall deeply in love with my new life, the one foisted upon me by the whore and my philandering husband. I would love nothing more than for her and her ilk to disappear and be nothing more than a laughable, distant memory. The problem lies in the fact that cheaters like her take this crap and use it for their own nefarious purposes. The people who really need this advice are people like me, the mobster, and any of you who have been duped by your partner.

With that in mind I’m going to offer this piece of advice to Harley: Take your insipid, not-needed-self-esteem boosting memes and shove ‘em the same place I’d like to shove that flashlight!

 

That Time I Should Have Said, “No Way!” To Moving

June 2014

I’m only going to go down this road once. I haven’t talked to Zack yet and told him about her impending divorce. Because, let’s face it, I don’t KNOW with 100% certainty that that is a fact. Definitely high odds but not 100%- maybe 90-95%. But, I remember a year ago when I ignored all the signs and always came up with a bullshit excuse for why each thing was happening. I’m not going to do that this time.

The fact is my husband has been an emotional mess for months now. That could be just the way he is. Not an outrageous conclusion. It could be that he’s under a tremendous amount of stress carrying on an affair with his whore once again while also selling a house, moving closer to her, starting a new job, keeping me in the dark even as we look for houses, and realizing that even if his kids are close by they probably won’t want to have anything to do with him.

Another fact is that just as we’re moving 2000 miles across the country, a mere 6 hours from her, it looks like she and her husband are moving towards a divorce. Coincidence? I’d like to believe so. But I also wanted to believe it was a coincidence she blocked me from Facebook the day after Zack came home and found pictures of her all around the house. Oh, the explanations I came up with- maybe they’d still been in contact but now that he knew I knew he called it off and she blocked me in a fit of anger. Maybe it was an odd coincidence. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe they were fooling around still and he simply shared with her that her pictures were all over his house. Maybe he thought perhaps I suspected something. Maybe she blocked me because they were still fucking around and he told her about it and she wanted me to know that she was still present in my life, that he refused to give her up. BINGO!

She’s growing her hair longer. He likes long hair. I’ve kept cutting mine so that I don’t look like her.

I have a few positive signs. They don’t mean much in the end because I realize he was able to successfully lie to me for months last year. He tells me he loves me, like really loves me. He tells me how beautiful I am, how sexy I am, how much he wants me. He tells me he doesn’t deserve me and I’m so wonderful and he’s nothing. He says he worries that I won’t move to our new state. That one can easily be explained by the kids. No momma means no kids. In short, he says all the right things. He makes me believe he realizes what a mistake he made and how grateful he is for a second chance. Makes me believe I’m the one and he’s madly in love with me. He’s even agreed to go to Florida with us.

His mom seems intent on re-establishing a relationship with me. Why would she do that if she knew I was history? But then again, she didn’t know before and she may not know now.

I didn’t see anything incriminating on his phone when I checked last time but surely he’s smart enough to delete that crap and any references to it. It looked like a perfectly innocent conversation with his sister. She did say they hadn’t been in contact so he’s not confiding any affair to her. I thought when he said his mess was self made he was referring to his past affair and how it influenced things today. But maybe his self made problems involve his on again affair with Harley. And there are other options besides mobile texting. SnapChat is perfect for that. The text or picture deletes itself in a few seconds.

My gut is not screaming like it did last year, but I’m not sure that means anything. I find it highly suspicious that she is getting divorced just as we are moving closer, which was part of their master plan. Move him closer. They have more chances to be together. I don’t know if he ever planned on leaving me to be with her.

On one hand I can’t deny what he told his nephew. On the other hand he says he never planned on divorcing me, that was all talk and it was all stupid fantasy. I think he wants to believe that now. But back then, in the heat of it all, I think he did want to leave and marry her. He might not have had it planned out, might not have been sure on how to a accomplish it, but I think he wanted to.

I guess the question now is how do you go from her being your soul mate, the one who makes you happy and you want to marry, to no, you’re the one I’ve always loved? I was stupid and wrong and it was all a big fantasy.

I’m sure the conversation won’t be easy. He’s going to feel like I can never trust him. Oh well, you cheat on your wife and that’s what happens. Maybe I’ll even be reigniting old passions. But, I’ve got to do it. Like I said, I ignored my instincts the last time. Ignored all warning signs. I’m not going to do that this time.

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Added two days later: I hate the fact that whenever a lot of time goes by and he hasn’t texted me I wonder if it’s because he’s busy texting her. I hate being even a little bit suspicious.

Present Day Sam Says: What I discovered when I talked to The Saint was that she was having another affair at this point. She is delightful, isn’t she?

Welcome to the Jungle, Part 2

Note:  This is the second part of the story.  To see the first part, click here.  And once again all these stories have been told to me by Zack, or members of Zack’s family.  If they are not true accounts that is because lying liars who lie lied to me.

Incidentally, that is not his real name but I also know he hates the name.  Always said it reminded him of the kid on Saved By the Bell and he hated him for some reason.  I really wanted to name my son Zachary but he wouldn’t hear of it.  All because of that kid on Saved By the Bell.  Well guess what, asshole?  Now YOUR name is Zack!  Doesn’t Harley and Zack have a nice ring to it?  I’m trying to take the potty mouth down a notch so I may start referring to him as Zack on occasion instead of Cousinfucker all the time.

Now let’s get a little freakier!  I’ve made mention of my STBX-SIL, aka Jezebel.  Where do we start?  Again, something simple and easy to digest.  The first time I ever met Jezebel the entire family had plans to go to a Mexican restaurant.  Jezebel brought Chinese food with her into this Mexican restaurant.  She didn’t really want Mexican so she called to see if she could bring her own food.  I had never heard of such a thing.  That should have been my first clue that good ol’ Jezzy didn’t play by ordinary people’s rules.  She, like Cousinfucker, was very, very special.

This is the sister who loves to talk about how much she just loves her brother.  Pictures are worth a thousand words and she lives her life in pictures.  I think the happiest day of her life was when Facebook allowed you to have a profile picture AND a cover picture.  Now she could switch out 2 pictures all the time, instead of just one!  Seriously, I had to stop following her even when I did like her because I couldn’t stand the constant changing of her profile and cover pictures.  We get it!  You’re pretty.  Everyone tells you exactly how pretty.  We also get that you are madly in love with Husband #3 and have a new found love of all things outdoors.  Hey- could I see yet another picture of you hanging onto the “love of your life” or you dressed up in camouflage?  If you judged her by her Facebook and Instagram photos you would think she has a picture perfect life.  Reality is she couldn’t be bothered to actually visit her brother once in the last ten plus years (I’ll give her a break and stop counting once he began his incestuous affair with the whore).  In 21 years of us being together she visited 6 times- 4 of those times were for something other than just coming to see us.  She made a huge deal about CF being at her wedding and then spent probably less than 30 minutes with him the entire weekend; in fact, he’s not in a single wedding picture and if he’s to be believed (which is debatable) he wasn’t in any of the pictures because she sent him on a liquor run before the wedding and he almost missed her getting married. $500 for a plane ticket.  $500 for one stupid weekend and she sends him out to get more liquor and he almost misses the ceremony.  Nice.

Similarly, she’ll tell you how much she loves and misses her niece and nephew and it just tears her up inside to think she’ll never get to see them again but does she do anything to foster a relationship with them?  That would be a big fat no.  Aside from telling my daughter how pretty she is (before my daughter blocked her on all social media) and how she takes after Aunt Jezebel she does nothing.  They both have cell phones and email addresses.  Does she reach out to them?  No, not even a text and definitely not a phone call.  Has she ever offered to fly them out to her for a visit?  No.  Even offered to come and drive them back with her?  Again, no.  We already know that visiting them is not something she does because she hadn’t visited our home since my son was a baby and he’s now 13. No, she expected ME to bring them to HER and then after stabbing me in the back repeatedly she whines that I’m somehow keeping the kids from her.  Her relationship with her dear niece and nephew was always about convenience.   To be fair, she would always make the time to see them once or twice whenever I would bring the kids to them; however, she never went out of her way to have a relationship with either one of them.

She’s also the one who begged him to leave me.  Yet, despite my apparent mistreatment of him, when he voluntarily committed himself, due in part to her talking him into it, she did not once come visit him.  No, she left that up to me- the evil wife.  Then again, she had just spent two weeks with her new father-in-law who was hospitalized.  Of course, he lives in a state she likes to visit and they always have lots of fun things planned for her.  Lots of Facebook and Instagram picture opportunities to show off her wonderful new life!  Plus, her new husband’s family hasn’t caught on to her yet so they still think she’s fabulous.

If you look closely enough you’ll soon realize that everything she puts out for the world to see is about how much she is loved, what wonderful things other people are doing for her, what delightful goodies have been purchased for her.  My mom pointed this out to me once.  She said:  I see an awful lot about what her new husband is doing for her, but I never see anything about what she’s done for him.  ’Tis true.  There is an awful lot about how this person did this for her and this person did that. To be fair though she did post about surprising her new fiancé with a helicopter tour for his birthday.  That this came right after the delivery of our $5 Christmas gifts, along with the explanation that she’s a poor, struggling single mom, was simple misfortune.

Oh, but this is all about what a freak show they are, right?  How’s this- Jezebel loves to sing.  She is a Christian singer.  Of course.  Years ago she didn’t just sing in church. She used to sing at weddings, at other churches, and in a group; she even recorded several albums/CDs.  At one point, probably when she was starting out, she had a high school student who would play piano for her when she went off to sing.  This kid had a crush on her.  He ended up asking her to prom and she accepted.  What’s so strange about that?  Well, for starters she was married.  There was also the fact that she was in her 20s.  I’m surprised she didn’t try to get her name put in for Prom Queen.  I know when I was 22 and freshly graduated from college my biggest wish in life was to go to prom with a high school senior.  Wasn’t it yours?  The only thing that could possibly make it any dreamier would be if my husband helped me to pick out my prom dress and then sat alone at home, lovingly waiting for my return.  From my date.  To the prom.  With a teenage boy.  Who is not my husband.  Just an FYI in case anyone wants to get all technical and legal here:  I do not know if her husband did indeed help her pick out her prom dress.  I don’t even know if he was sitting at home waiting for her to return.  Hell, come to think of it I’m not even sure why he allowed it!  I’m not one for asking permission to do things, even from my husband; however, I think putting your foot down and sternly telling your wife that you do not approve of her going out on a date, even if it is to prom and is undoubtedly the teenage boy’s biggest night of his life what with scoring a date with another man’s wife and all, is acceptable in this case.  I can definitely get behind someone drawing a line in the sand for that one.  The funny thing is when this story was recounted by my MIL to my mom she was the one to say, “WTF?”  She asked my MIL point blank, “Wasn’t she embarrassed to be going to prom with a teenager at her age?”  My MIL looked at her and was suddenly all, “Yes.  Yes, she was.”  No, no she wasn’t.  She was in her glory.  I’m sure all attention was on her, just the way she likes it.

Later in life when she was the lead Praise & Worship singer she ended up beginning an affair with the pastor.  Once upon a time she swore it was only an emotional affair.  Who knows if that is true.  What I do know, according to STBX-MIL, is that they opened a freaking bank account together!  He took up a collection *at church* to help pay for her divorce.  He bought her a washing machine and dryer.  He went to a couple that had left the church when this came to light and he denied the affair, told them it was wrong to judge her, and ultimately ended up guilting them into coming back to the church.  They felt so guilty they apologized for believing the rumors and judging her, and actually gave her money for her vacation!  She, of course, took it and then spent her vacation communicating with the good pastor.  They didn’t have Facebook or Skype back then and texting wasn’t common, but they communicated through whatever means were popular at the time.   She herself preferred bringing up the rumor and then denying it.  It was a sweet little gig.  She would say:  I know you’ve probably heard I’m boning our pastor but I want you to know it’s not true!  She was also very offended at the idea that she should step down as one of the youth group leaders- something she did with her betrayed husband.

Here’s something interesting.  Jezebel believed people who gossiped about this were jealous of her because she had the courage to leave her husband and find someone who made her happy.  As she told me once, “I’d rather have 20 great years with Husband #2, than 50 so so years with Original Husband.”  Oh, did I mention he was 20 years older than her?  That’s why she was only giving their marriage 20 years.  He was the same age as her mother.  I remember hearing her friends gush about how they had never seen her happier, and at the wedding they talked about their champagne flutes that were engraved “MVBF”- My Very Best Friend.  Isn’t that so romantic?  True love, folks.  Who cares if you have to step over a few people to achieve your bliss?  She broke the heart of her husband of 13 years.  She also had two young children at the time and wasn’t afraid to throw their lives into turmoil.  He threw away a 20 or 25 year marriage and a rather large church.  Membership was somewhere between 800 and 1000 people.  It was thriving.  The church membership paid all of his bills- mortgage, cell phone, utilities, car, insurance. In addition to all that he received an actual salary.  They sent him and his wife away on vacation every year.  They were building an addition on to their church.  I’m sure Jezebel thought she was going to waltz right in and simply take over where the former wife left off.  Didn’t work out that way, though.  People are funny like that sometimes.  They don’t appreciate their pastor getting it on with the praise and worship leader while telling them trick-or-treating on Halloween and watching Disney movies with magic in them is a sin.   He ended up losing it all, which meant Jezebel didn’t walk into the life of luxury she thought this man could provide for her.  Their bills were not all paid by the church; they weren’t being sent away on vacation every year.  They didn’t receive gifts and accolades from all the adoring members of the congregation.  For years they struggled financially, even losing their house.  Finally, a few years before the end, he got a great paying job.  Unfortunately, it took him on the road a lot and that meant he could no longer iron her clothes or cut up her food for her or spend hours a day gazing at her and telling her how beautiful and wonderful she was.  He didn’t feel like running around all weekend long after being gone all week, and he was no longer entertaining her and making life fun every moment.  In short, she just wasn’t happy.

Approximately ten years after the wedding Jezebel begins an affair with another man.  Hey- at least this time her affair partner wasn’t married!  Give her a little credit.  She carries on this affair for almost a year before asking for a divorce.  I got to sit and listen to her talk for hours about how she wasn’t cheating on her husband but he was so jealous and had accused her of infidelity and would check up on her, how she didn’t think she’d ever get married again; she was so excited to be living on her own because she’d never done that before.  Turns out the night before when she and my husband went out to dinner alone (yes, I was excluded so they could have their precious brother/sister time) they met up with her new husband-to-be so she could introduce them.  Yes, she was offended because her husband was jealous and suspicious.  It’s kind of like the cashier who’s stealing from the register being butt hurt because you installed surveillance cameras above the register.  How dare you accuse me of stealing?!?!

What’s that you say, Sam?  You were left at home with the mother-in-law and kids while your husband and his sister went out to dinner together for some special “brother/sister bonding”?  Why, yes, I was!  Seems that approximately a year prior to this Jezebel was telling her brother all about her affair, swearing him to secrecy.  After all, if your brother is telling you what a disaster his marriage is the best thing you can do is ask him to keep secrets from his wife while you tell him all about your affair with this new man. The affair and new man that are both making you so happy and gosh darn it, you deserve some happiness.  They went out to dinner, supposedly just the two of them, to talk about all sorts of things that were on poor Jezebel’s mind.  Turns out she wanted his opinion on Farmer John.  Somehow this was supposed to make me feel better.  “Oh, she wasn’t excluding you; she just wanted my opinion on what type of guy he was and if he was playing her,” he explained later when this finally came to light.  What type of guy he is?  He’s the type of guy that will fuck another man’s wife!  That’s what kind of guy he is!  But, you know, since Jezebel is perfectly willing to fuck another guy while she’s married to her first affair partner, that probably isn’t something she cares about!  That probably should have been a big clue for me- when your husband says the guy that is cheating with his sister seems like a decent guy.  No, he’s really not.  If you’re willing to fuck another man’s wife you have a serious character flaw.  I also loved how he couldn’t possibly give an honest opinion on what this guy was like if *I* was around.  Seriously?  Are you going to be so distracted by my fabulous rack that you can’t possibly assess his character deficiencies?  Is my beauty so stunning that it will block any telepathic messages you might receive about this guy?  Am I simply so mesmerizing that you can’t have a simple conversation with the guy and give an honest assessment of him to your cheating sister if I’m there?  Or, do you know this is all wrong and I’m the only person in your life with a moral compass?  Oh, I think we’ve got a winner!

But the best part was hearing how she was crazy about this man.  He was everything she wanted and she loved her new life- the hunting, the farm life, the four wheeling, the two new kids.  He was her best friend and the love of her life; he was spectacular and did everything he could to make her happy.  Look- he built me a fire pit!  Look- he bought me a car!  Look at my stupid wedding in a fucking barn because I’m just a simple country girl!  Her friends once again gushed about how happy she looked and how they had never seen her happier.  Eerie, isn’t it?  Almost the exact same story word for word as when she was leaving the original husband for Husband #2.  Including the part where she told Husband #2:  I know you think I’m having an affair but I’m not!

In a sad twist of irony The Original Husband died.  Personally, from the things Jezebel said when she was lying to me about her impending divorce from Husband #2, I believe she was already involved with Husband #3 and The Original Husband’s death allowed her to get out of her marriage to Husband #2. I think she didn’t want him to know she had made a mistake and didn’t want him to witness her second divorce. That might be humiliating.  It also gave her a great excuse to distance herself from Husband #2 because he didn’t understand her grieving.  Yes, if you weren’t aware of what had happened you would think Jezebel was the grieving widow. She was at the funeral home, in the receiving line even, I believe, the entire time. Someone told me she insisted on sitting up front with the family during his funeral. And I know for a fact that she had the audacity to yell at his actual widow because Jezebel didn’t think she was showing enough emotion. How’s that for lady balls? You cheat on your husband, leave him for your pastor  (who acted as a marriage counselor for the two of you!), and when he dies you take over the role of the widow and reprimand his wife for not loving him enough! Oy. And vey!

And in case you’re wondering about the pastor he was wise to his cheating wife’s ways.  I think he could see the writing on the wall. Afterall, he had been the other man when she was cheating on her first husband. He was remarried within a month or two after their divorce.  Jezebel was pissed.  Come to think of it, her first husband also remarried before she did.  Of course, since she was marrying her married lover that divorce took a little longer so they weren’t able to get married as quickly as they had hoped.

The good news is I think this guy actually has money, or at least his family does.  She’s married for money twice before and the joke ended up being on her both times- she didn’t live the life of luxury she thought she was going to lead.  I think this time she actually got it right.  If not, she’ll be changing from Rambo Barbie into someone else in about 6-8 years.  Her marriages usually last somewhere between 10-13 years.  Good luck, Farmer John!