2017 Wrap Up

It’s that time of year where we look back and review everything that has happened. Can I just say 2017 has absolutely flown by? Whew! I know time seems to pass more quickly as you age but this is ridiculous!

2017 started off with me beginning my first full time job in basically 19 years. It was rocky in the beginning. Does anyone remember me crying that I was probably going to get fired because my drawer wouldn’t balance? And it was a little intimidating going into all these new branches, meeting new people over and over.

I did, though. I stuck with it. I got better at my job. I made friends. I have one branch that eagerly looks forward to my Teller Balancing dance. As 2017 comes to a close I’m less than 2 weeks away from my one year anniversary with the bank.

2017 also began with me working two jobs and my mom off to Florida. I jumped into the full-time working mom gig with both feet. It sucked! I was getting up at 3:20 in the morning 4-5 days a week, going in from 4-7, crossing my fingers my son woke up on time and got on the bus, heading home to grab Rock Star and take her to school, and then heading back home to get ready for my “real” job which I would work from 8:45-5:15, unless I needed to close and stay until 7:15. Then I got to come home and do parent stuff- making dinner, grocery shopping, cleaning, doing laundry, shampooing carpets, running errands. Hooray! I remember thinking life really sucked at this point. I remember feeling no joy. I remember begging for an aneurysm to put me out of my misery. And I cried pretty much every day. I was still broke. Still receiving no support from CF. Working two jobs meant I could buy food and toilet paper. It didn’t leave a lot left over for fun.

In February I traveled to Virginia for the first show cause hearing. My husband declined to attend. My spousal support was slashed from $4600/month to $1600/month but I was awarded my arrears and he had until May 5th to pay. I also walked away with a trial date for my divorce. I turned 48 and had probably the most depressing birthday of my life, although I have to say my brother and his family did their best to make it a wonderful day.

In March two things happened which helped my burden tremendously- my mom finally returned home from Florida which meant she could help pick up and/or drop off Picasso (especially with the damn bus always running two hours late!), and Rock Star finally got her license which meant I could hand her my keys and let her go. I don’t think I will ever forget the first time I came home exhausted, wanting to take a nap after working a Saturday at Target, and figuring out what time I needed to wake up so I could go pick her up. Then it hit me. She had driven herself to practice! I could take a nap without interruption. Sleep, glorious sleep, was mine for the taking.

I should also note that when my mom came back she once again began doing my laundry and cooking dinner. Thank you, Mom! I sincerely do not know how single moms do it day after day.

In April Rock Star, with the help of a loan from her Nana, bought her first car. I also finally got my back support!

I gradually began feeling a little better. I laughed more. If I wasn’t necessarily optimistic I was at least less pessimistic. I could breathe again. I started looking to the future and thinking about the many possibilities. I got excited about being in control of my own life and doing things on my terms.

May saw my daughter head off to prom; my divorce trial date came and went thanks to CF trying to make a claim for PTSD. My beloved Beau died. My mom had a birthday. She would kill me if I told you how old she was.

What will stand out the most about the month of May, however, is that I met my mobster. My wonderful, wonderful mobster. The man who has brought laughter and love back to my life. What started out as a chance “meeting” quickly escalated into something more, something absolutely amazing. And thus began the nonstop texting, the video chats, the phone calls, the late nights and surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep.

In June, we finally met in person. Ironically, he was with me on the day that marked the one year anniversary of my life imploding, the day CF dropped the bomb that he had lost his damn job and wouldn’t be sending me any more money. Rock Star turned 17. The mobster turned 49. We had our first adventure together when we went canoeing. Damn near killed me!

Picasso turned 15 in July. The mobster and I met up a few more times in various locations. He met my son. This month marked one year since I moved out of my home in Virginia and moved in with my mom back in Indiana. One year. Hey, I survived!

I quit my second job in August. It was bittersweet. I was going to miss the friends I had made working at Target, and I was grateful for the chance they had given me by hiring me, but I was so looking forward to having weekends off and no longer having to set my alarm for 3:20. I saw the mobster a few more times and I finally met his daughter. Likewise, the mobster finally met my daughter. We had an awesome time Labor Day weekend (which started in August). We went rafting and to a large festival. Rock Star began her senior year and Picasso began high school. I attended training to do referrals and make sales at my job this month as well.

September was pretty quiet. I only got to see the mobster once more. My divorce trial was supposed to take place the 26th but we got kicked out of the room so it was postponed yet again. I knew this early in the summer so it wasn’t a shock. I got to walk with my daughter for senior night. Lots of football games to watch my cute cheerleader. This was my first month attempting to sell products to our customers. I’m not so great at it but it’s a little bit of extra money. Rock Star was invited to join a competitive cheer team. She also got her first college acceptance letter.

October I didn’t see the mobster at all. More football games. It was much colder. I did lots of prepping for the divorce trial.

November 3rd I finally went to court. I thought my lawyer put on one heck of a case. The judge must have agreed because on November 22nd I found out it had all pretty much gone my way. You all know the drill- $2800/month in spousal support, $1805.81/month in child support, $25,000 in legal fees, and what will probably amount to 60% of what is left in his 401k, plus half his pension. He was also found to be in contempt for not paying support and ordered to pay me by January 5th or end up paying an additional $10,000. The judge told him his story of why he stopped payment on the checks “hurt his credibility”. Plus, bonus points for the fact that Harley the whore was named in the judge’s opinion. She was found to be a major cause behind his move to Kentucky and the real reason he can’t make any more money; the judge also pointed out that CF could be paying me more he was just more concerned with making sure his girlfriend and her kids had whatever they wanted.  I had a great Thanksgiving. I had a few good weekends with the mobster as well. CF decided he wanted to toy with me by hacking my Facebook page and sending obnoxious texts to the mobster. Basketball season began and I went to watch my cute cheerleader.

And finally we have December. I went to my very first cheer competition which was very expensive and it didn’t work out exactly the way I had planned. I had fun nonetheless. I’m looking forward to watching more at the next one. I have a referral goal of 12 referrals each month at the bank. With one more day of work this month before I take a few days off I have 38 referrals. The sales side sucks, but I’ve got referrals coming out my ass! I got my full support order for the first time since May when he sent me a check for $3600 for February’s back support. CF decided to up the ante and contact his daughter to try the sad sausage dance. It didn’t work. We had a pretty decent Christmas this year. I am heading to Virginia to see the mobster. The kids and I will be spending 4 full glorious days and 2 half days with him and his offspring. We have a lot of fun things planned, including a huge 2 night concert. I plan on ringing in the New Year with my mobster and our kids.

2017 started off in a gray, dark, joyless place. It has ended up being a great year. I have found laughter and love and all things light. If I were to name this year it would be this: 2017- the year happiness returned.

4 thoughts on “2017 Wrap Up

  1. This is one “feel good” post.
    I don’t know you but I feel so happy for you. Your ex put you thru the wringer but you have managed to survive and find love on top of it all.
    You are truly blessed to also have your mom. You have 2 good kids.
    Personally, I hope your ex rots in hell but I guess we could “silently” thank his dumb ass for giving you your freedom from him. I hope you understand what l am trying to say.
    You are the winner. Your life is yours.
    Happy New Year to you!
    xo Monica


  2. You have had such an awful journey to start but it is so wonderful to hear of all the positive things happening to you and your kids now. I bet 2018 will even be better. All the best xxxx


  3. I love love love love this post – I hope you are proud of yourself because you definitely faced some terriblee moments during this situation BUT now finally you have had some happy times and they are well well deserved. I’m so glad the financials went your way although I wish he would have received some more sanctions that hit him where it really hurts him – his wallet lol Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


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