Still Celebrating

Sorry I’ve been absent lately. I have no excuse. I’m just reveling in my victory. I still find it hard to believe I won.

Okay, maybe that’s not all that difficult to believe I won but after the last two years… it’s hard to believe it’s finally over. I’m enjoying the sweet, sweet victory. At least until he tries to do something else shady. Hopefully that suspended jail sentence will keep Jerry Lee on the straight and narrow.

A little over two years ago he couldn’t slash child support in half fast enough. I tried to tell him. I gently asked if he had talked to an attorney about getting it modified. He ignored me, then talked down to me, and then called me a cunt. In the end? He had to pay $1800 for the month of June 2018 (and July 2018-July 2020, but who’s counting?) instead of the $200+ he sent my way for her.

I remember him sending me that first post graduation child support, after I let him know it didn’t get slashed in half. He called it revisionist history and insinuated that I was only going after more money so that I could meet up with the mobster. Your attorney has not given me the new $$$ required… When that amount is determined… then the amount will change. So fucking smug. I should have written back, “Take your time. Until the order is modified you owe me $1800.” He wouldn’t have believed me, of course. Now I have the satisfaction of knowing his pomposity came back to bite him in the ass.

I think back to the first time my lawyer emailed him the new figures and how condescending he was. No, he didn’t agree. No, he wouldn’t pay the legal fees. He didn’t have any control over my business affairs. He didn’t tell me to hire a lawyer and he had no control over how long it took her to do her job. He didn’t want to use those numbers. He wanted to use whatever my new pay rate might be. It all needed to be “proper”. Health insurance seemed to be way too much. To be fair, Jane did calculate health insurance incorrectly and it was going to cost him about $200 more than this newest figure. But… $200 more for 3 years versus $900 more for just over 2 years. Hmmm… I think he should have taken the deal.

For the last three and a half years he’s been able to pay support whenever he wants. Schedule? What schedule? Let’s wait until the last day of the month to finish paying what I owe! Let’s not pay anything until the second half of the month. This will be fun!

He has one more chance to mess with me and then I should be paid directly from his employer. He is supposed to pay me the small lump sum of $2000 by the 24th. If anyone was wondering if he’s paid it already, he hasn’t. I’m willing to bet he won’t pay it until around midnight on the 24th. He’ll stretch it out as long as he possibly can because it will be the last time he gets to do something like that.

For almost three and a half years he’s harassed me with snide stamps on my envelopes and obscene emojis and nasty messages in his Venmo transfers. Now that is over. Like I said, he’s got one more chance to make some smart ass comment and then his employer does all the work.

And let’s not forget the God awful saga of going through the state child support enforcement agency. That was an absolute nightmare. First it was going to take 60-90 days. That turned into it will take 60-90 days to go from one state to the other and back again and then another 60-90 days to go to the next state. Then that turned into, “Oh, once the second state gets your information then the county has another 45 days to review the case and decide to file.” Not to mention two moves since March of 2019. Just as we were almost there to take him back to court in Mississippi he up and vanished again.

I suppose in the end it all worked out. While I may have still received the $900/month back support where he didn’t modify the original order, I’m not sure I would be receiving as much child support as I am now and I get that for another eleven months. I was also told by Jane that the garnishment would have only been in effect as long as there was child support to collect. Not to mention I wouldn’t have tax free spousal support.

I walk around and I’m not sure how I should feel. For the past year and a half I’ve been begging people- my lawyer, my caseworker- to help me get him garnished, to make him pay what he owes me. I’ve spent so much time sending emails, doing research, crossing my fingers, and pushing this along. Now it’s done. I won. I can’t say it enough. I won. There’s nothing to do now. Except finish paying my lawyer.

I’m really hoping this brings me to Meh. I’ve been over him for years. I’m slowly coming to terms with this new life I’m leading. I think I’m fairly happy except for the job situation. But even after kicking his ass in court at the divorce trial he has messed with me non-stop since December of 2017. It’s hard to be completely at Meh when someone is messing with you, and that someone holds your financial future in his hands. Now that I’ve got a suspended jail sentence hanging over his head, and the money will be automatically deducted from his check and deposited into my account I am hopeful that I won’t ever have to deal with him again.

Picasso is 18. He wants nothing to do with his dad. I could send him the bills for his therapy, and in many ways I really think he should pay for that because he’s the reason the kid needs therapy. But my peace of mind is worth more than that. I’ll pay the $22 each week and not ask for him to kick in $15.

God willing Picasso will graduate eleven months from now. At the rate we seem to be going who knows if they will even hold a graduation next year? They’re already pulling back from having the kids start in person classes. Picasso has already told me he has no desire for his dad to be there when he does graduate. This time around I will stay out of it. And after graduation day I’m deleting him from my contacts. I could probably do it now, not that we communicate much.

That’s where I am. Just wandering about, pinching myself to make sure I’m not dreaming, but also wondering how exactly he’s going to fuck this up for me as well. Good thing I’m a fighter.